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So the OP is telling us he only goes after women he's attracted to. Holy news flash of the year. None of us have even thought of that! I always go for men who completely repulse me physically and psychologically.
But I think the difference is that the OP has a history of complaining that he can't connect with women. At least he's clarified to some extent why that may be the case.
And while most of us aren't attracted to lots of people, and 20-30% sounds like a lot to choose from, I think there's more behind those numbers. In his case I think he's using numbers to say that he is only interested in women who are considerably above average in looks. While different tastes factor in, most of us are pretty good at identifying which men and women get a lot of social/sexual attention. He's saying those are the women he's interested in, and he's implying an admission that this may be why he struggles.
See this gets complicated, when you choose someone in the 30%, how can you ever be sure you didn't miscalculate and you went over to 31%?
And if your friend considers a girl in 32% area and you are dead set that she is a 27% how do you decide? Split the difference?
It your 30%er goes home takes off industrial strength spanks, push up bra, and is in horrible shape under the clothes which could take her down to a 40% rank, then do you up and leave?
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It's amazing how people lose their minds when certain things are phrased a certain way.
"Top 20-30% of looks" = riot.
"I find about a quarter of the people in the world physically attractive" = acceptable.
How many people do the other posters find attractive, I wonder?
It sounds like you've missed all the threads where women have said they ended up falling for guys they didn't find physically attractive at first, but after getting to know the guy, he "grew" on them. Aspects of his personality were so winning, they began to view him as attractive. Women seem more willing to give unattractive guys a chance.
It sounds like you've missed all the threads where women have said they ended up falling for guys they didn't find physically attractive at first, but after getting to know the guy, he "grew" on them. Aspects of his personality were so winning, they began to view him as attractive. Women seem more willing to give unattractive guys a chance.
Yeah, but they have to get to know the guy 1st. So,, that's if the guy sticks around long enough. But the friend zone gets bad rep. So as soon as a woman isn't attracted and won't get romantic off the bat, guys will run off. Some opportunities can be missed there.
Yeah, but they have to get to know the guy 1st. So,, that's if the guy sticks around long enough. But the friend zone gets bad rep. So as soon as a woman isn't attracted and won't get romantic off the bat, guys will run off. Some opportunities can be missed there.
I was once in a relationship like that, and she flat out admitted to her friend (and I heard through the grapevine) that at first she didn't think I was attractive, and I grew on her. I never fully accepted that.
I think men find it hard to reconcile within themselves (it's been an issue for me) that she had to "talk herself into" being attracted to him if they know about it.
Although I realize that's not actually what happened, the way men's minds are wired, it's hard not to think of it that way, at least for me.
It's amazing how people lose their minds when certain things are phrased a certain way.
"Top 20-30% of looks" = riot.
"I find about a quarter of the people in the world physically attractive" = acceptable.
How many people do the other posters find attractive, I wonder? I really doubt that the OP-shamers are physically attracted to half the men/women they meet. 20-30% is a LOT of people.
If, for some reason, people knew that the OP was, say, in the bottom 20% or whatever in terms of attractiveness, then by all means, go ahead and laugh at the hypocrisy. But you don't (unless I missed something in a different thread). I'd even go so far as to say that being physically attracted to 20-30% of people is wider than most, especially for women...
Per the OKC blog that gaining a ton of ground here lately, 80% of men are rated by women as "below average looking".
25% of the adult population in the U.S. is still quite a lot. One day I'll have to observe men when I'm out and assess their attractiveness to find out a % I find attractive. There are more attractive men (and women) shopping at Trader Joe's than Wal-Mart.
But I do have a wide spectrum of what I find attractive. A 7 to me can be another woman's 5. And while looks matter, once I get to know the individual, and am drawn to him, he becomes far more attractive. That's been my experience.
It sounds like you've missed all the threads where women have said they ended up falling for guys they didn't find physically attractive at first, but after getting to know the guy, he "grew" on them. Aspects of his personality were so winning, they began to view him as attractive. Women seem more willing to give unattractive guys a chance.
So you're shocked to discover that looks tend to be more important for men and personality tends to be more important for women? It seems like you've missed all the threads where women point out that personality is more important to them than it is for men. We're different. Women are more willing to give unattractive guys a chance. Just like men are more willing to give (insert non-physical quality here...stupid, mean, ill-mannered, etc.) women a chance.
One is not "better" than another, and it's pretty condescending to judge otherwise, especially when it's not nearly as elitist as people are making it. 30%? It's not like he's ruling out everybody. 30% is a LOT of people.
After all, what do you care? Let him pursue hot women. You're welcome to pursue unattractive men. Or hot men. Or smart men. Or whatever.
25% of the adult population in the U.S. is still quite a lot. One day I'll have to observe men when I'm out and assess their attractiveness to find out a % I find attractive. There are more attractive men (and women) shopping at Trader Joe's than Wal-Mart.
But I do have a wide spectrum of what I find attractive. A 7 to me can be another woman's 5. And while looks matter, once I get to know the individual, and am drawn to him, he becomes far more attractive. That's been my experience.
This is exactly what I'm saying.
People are quick to jump on the OP for saying he only finds 20-30% of people attractive, but that's still a LOT of people. As for difference in opinion, of course he's only referring to himself. It's HIS "20-30%". Just because he throws that number out there doesn't mean it's a "universal" 20-30%.
No theyre not the ones who are are usually unattractive themsvles with a lack of options..
It's really not. Look at Julia Roberts, who married Lyle Lovett, one of the ugliest men on earth. She was already rich (more so than him) and famous and could have had her pick, but she fell in love with him.
Haven't you ever met someone, worked with someone etc, that you didn't on first glance think was attractive, but as you got to know them there was something about them, i.e. they had a brilliant mind, were really funny, or just really pleasant to be around, that made them seem more attractive the longer you knew them? It works in reverse, too. I've met men and women who I thought were gorgeous, but as I got to know them their personalities made them seem less attractive.
There is nothing wrong on the surface about OP preferring women on a certain level, however when the person themselves states they themselves are not in that league and have never actually been able to get a girl like that to go out with them, it becomes a problem.
It's like someone who works a minimum wage job say "I can afford a Ford, but I only like BMW's, therefore I'll ride the bus forever because I refuse to settle." It's pretty much cutting off your nose to spite your face.
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