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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,012,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoCUBS1
Never said that, nor do I believe that.... Don't put words in my mouth... My premise is that extra practice time on ONS to understand different types of "parts/physical responses" does not necessarily make a better lover... I believe an investment in overall communication, interpersonal skills, creativity, self/sexual-awareness, physical fitness, overall sensuality is more likely to improve sexual experience... So we disagree about this.
I also believe we have an infinite range because I believe the most satisfying sexual experiences start in the mind, and the human mind has infinite possibilities. I do not believe just knowing particular physical stimulation techniques for a particular partner is what makes a good lover.
If one believes that it is just a physical "range" for a person and this finite range can be satisfied with specific techniques (practiced with multiple ONS), then in a LTR, you are eventually going to exhaust your bag of physical tricks and things could get predictable/boring. Since the mind can create an infinite number of possibilities, this should not happen.
Pot meet kettle followed by an excellent strawman. No one said it necessarily makes you a better lover.
And quite frankly, I find your position to be overly mushy and hopeful. Yes, caring about the person, being in love, communication, engagement with the mind and soul and all that comes from a real emotional, or spiritual connection can result in the most beautiful sex... but you can have all that, and not have the actual skills to make it that mind blowing sex. Both are really needed.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,012,374 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
I'm saying it's too many, not "wrong" or "bad". Just too many, because the person is taking certain risks with every sexual encounter, both physical and emotional/psychological, just to end yet another relationship and do it all again.
Oh come on.
Ok, give me the equation. How do you calculate "too many" for any one individual? Or is it like pornography, you know it when you see it?
And what is too few? If there is too many, is there an opposite?
It makes every bit of difference when it comes to your say in imposing your outdated sexual beliefs on other consenting adults.
No one's imposing anything. This is more of that fantastical notion that I'm a Puritan just because I disagree with you on this subject. Remember? I started off by warning you would compare me to them, just as you came around to doing
I know, I know, "puritan" with a lowercase p, as if that makes any difference in negative connotation whatsoever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth
I see you're still working on accepting that several hours later. You'll get it some day-- I believe in you.
And you will eventually get that not everyone who doesn't think exactly as you do... is a sexually repressive puritan calling the entire world wrong and trying to force them all to behave just so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Oh come on.
Ok, give me the equation. How do you calculate "too many" for any one individual?
It's not an exact science. But one for a lifetime would be ideal. I mean, logically, if you can get everything you need from one sexual partner, you only take these new risks once and you're good. This is all my opinion, of course. But I feel actually thinking about the ramifications of what you are doing to determine whether you should is better than using the law and only the most immediate sorts of harm as your only compass, as has been suggested to me by certain others I'm having this conversation with...
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
And what is too few? If there is too many, is there an opposite?
What are the risks in not having a sexual partner? In and of itself, probably none. But IMHO (gotta emphasize that, as there are some who think I'm advocating a nationwide "no sex" policy here), it isn't reasonable to suggest that a person never have sex. I think we all deserve that, but we should be fairly conservative about it, sure.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,012,374 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
It's not an exact science. But one for a lifetime would be ideal. I mean, logically, if you can get everything you need from one sexual partner, you only take these new risks once and you're good. This is all my opinion, of course. But I feel actually thinking about the ramifications of what you are doing to determine whether you should is better than using the law and only the most immediate sorts of harm as your only compass, as has been suggested to me by certain others I'm having this conversation with...
Again. I ask. What is too many?? You said there is a such a thing. So is 2 too many if 1 is ideal?
If not, what is too many?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
What are the risks in not having a sexual partner? In and of itself, probably none. But IMHO (gotta emphasize that, as there are some who think I'm advocating a nationwide "no sex" policy here), it isn't reasonable to suggest that a person never have sex. I think we all deserve that, but we should be fairly conservative about it, sure.
What are the risks? Not having sex. One of the most awesome experiences in the world when done well.
We should all be conservative about it? Good heavens no we shouldn't. We should be conservative about very little other than conserving the environment.
Again. I ask. What is too many?? You said there is a such a thing. So is 2 too many if 1 is ideal?
If not, what is too many?
You just want the whole board against me.
Yes. IMO, since 1 per lifetime is ideal, 2 is too many.
But...
You forgot to ask "Too many for what?" .... We need a *kicking oneself* smiley.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
What are the risks? Not having sex. One of the most awesome experiences in the world when done well.
Right you are! I revise my decision, from "1 is ideal" to "1 is ideal".
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
We should all be conservative about it? Good heavens no we shouldn't. We should be conservative about very little other than conserving the environment.
That's an opinion and you've every right to it... But why do you have it?
I know a few guys who love to brag they have slept with over a hundred girls. Just curious if you personally know any women who admit to sleeping with over a hundred guys.
I don't know any, but I've never asked anyone for numbers or heard anyone brag about it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,012,374 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
That's an opinion and you've every right to it... But why do you have it?
My life experiences, albeit as limited as they are (I'm only 42), show most everything identified with conservatism, and that is especially true with social conservatism, moral conservatism, and political conservatism. I'd give some leeway with fiscal conservatism, but unfortunately the political conservatives don't really believe in fiscal conservatives, or when they do, it is only with causes they disagree with. Indeed, on the most important issues, the political conservative wing in this country is only conservative on the issues they shouldn't be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
You just want the whole board against me.
Yes. IMO, since 1 per lifetime is ideal, 2 is too many.
Got it. Two is too many. Thank you for giving a real answer.
Got it. Two is too many. Thank you for giving a real answer.
Always. And if we're talking about politics, I do find I disagree with conservatives on many issues, from gay marriage to religion (I'm atheist). But on this, I can't see any reason to be "liberal".
Yes. I know women who have been single for a very long time (40+ years) and do not feel ashamed of having sex outside of a long term commitment. They have also reached the age of not caring what others think.
I guess if you were old enough and always single, 100 is a somewhat reasonable number. I still get skeeved out thinking about it for a guy or a girl. It just seems impersonal and icky.
Pot meet kettle followed by an excellent strawman. No one said it necessarily makes you a better lover.
And quite frankly, I find your position to be overly mushy and hopeful. Yes, caring about the person, being in love, communication, engagement with the mind and soul and all that comes from a real emotional, or spiritual connection can result in the most beautiful sex... but you can have all that, and not have the actual skills to make it that mind blowing sex. Both are really needed.
Nope, I did not veer into mushiness either, no mention of hopeful soul mates, etc. I simply stated that having more lovers does not necessarily mean more skills. Why is that so hard to understand? "Practicing skills" twice a day with the same person over many years may improve your "skills" over a series of ONS, or maybe not Maybe self-pleasure/erotica/porno/toys, etc. could improve your "skills" over a series of ONS, or maybe not. As I have said, I see no correlation with the # of partners, and increased "skills" (unless we are talking going from zero to one). Sex isn't really all that complicated - it usually doesn't take a skill workshop for 2 sensual people who are wildly attracted to one another, giving and eager to please.
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