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If you met an attractive and intelligent man/woman, you were very attracted to their personality and intelligence, but they are extremely conservative - will not do anything physical with you, they will not even kiss you or hold your hand in public until marriage... yes or no way?!
I can go without sex since there's an alternative. I don't care about holding hands, but no kissing?, no. Who knows how long until marriage.
I could. I mean, I would miss making out, but I can wait for it. How long does this LTR have to be until we get married?
The concern I'd have is - how do I know what to expect? She might have been a total vixen holding back all those years, or, it might have just been a ruse to cover the fact that she has no desire for sex and won't after marriage, either...just too many unknowns. They can TELL you they have desires, but that doesn't mean jack squat.
I almost married a girl like that. We did have sex, but she was so stiff, so non-sexual, everything was "gross" to her...she didn't even like kissing. Glad I dodged that bullet.
It would be like not trying on some new clothes to see how they look before you buy them. At least you could take them back if you don't like them. If you're not compatible physically and you find out after you're married then it's been one big expensive mistake. Physical intimacy is a huge quality of life issue for me and could be a deal breaker. It was with one boyfriend I had. He just didn't measure up, on so many levels. I couldn't spend the rest of my life feeling unfulfilled.
If you met an attractive and intelligent man/woman, you were very attracted to their personality and intelligence, but they are extremely conservative - will not do anything physical with you, they will not even kiss you or hold your hand in public until marriage... yes or no way?!
I can put up with no sex, but not for the listed reasons. I frequently deal with out sex. However, its not because of moral or religious reasons. In our case, its called being understanding. But its hardly voluntary or desirable for either of us. Its just the way it is sometimes.
Our relationship is not totally based or majority based, on sex anymore. Yes, it is still important, but its a delicate matter that takes self control, understanding, and a whole lot of deep deep love. Its worth it. I signed on for the fight, and I'll stick it out all the way. Granted, this is a LOT different than the reasons cited , but its still qualifies as in the same category based just on physical reasons.
Addressing the reasons of waiting until marriage, that is a matter of personal choice, and I respect the rationale behind people who think this way. I have known couples like that, however, none of them are still married. The longest lasted 16 years. Amongst these couples was a common denominator other than no sex other than the marriage bed as well. That was sexual incompatibility. To many preconceived ideas about sex impeded sexual growth. This was a larger issue with the women as well. They never could shake the stigma about sex being an....embarrassing... issue, and looked at it as a duty, not a pleasure.
This happens a lot with strict religious dogma. That ruins sex. Takes all the fun right out of it when one or the other partner has hangups and guilt feelings about the playground of marriage we call sex. Its quite sad actually, that such things hamper people. It causes no end of problems, from lack of communication to just flat driving couples apart from shear frustration.
If you met an attractive and intelligent man/woman, you were very attracted to their personality and intelligence, but they are extremely conservative - will not do anything physical with you, they will not even kiss you or hold your hand in public until marriage... yes or no way?!
That seems excessively conservative. I have 30-something friends who waited till marriage to have sex. But they making out, hugging and hand holding were OK. They just stopped at making out. Till they got married of course. They were tempted, particularly in the last couple weeks leading up to the wedding, which gave them full-time leaving together after a pond-distance relationship and courtship. But they held out.
Physical intimacy is important. Avoiding sex till marriage? Maybe. Avoiding all touching until then, no way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by janesea
An LTR without sex until marriage...possibly. But no hand holding or even kissing? Nope. We may as well just be friends then.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
I know I need touch.
Agree with you guys and the minx. The other physical contact is really important.
Yes, I'm asexual, so there would be no sex... period even after marriage. Hence why I don't date.
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