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I've been on and off with this coworker of mine. Things were cool. I saw her after work and she wanted to have dinner. She follows me and we get to the place.
One thing I notice about her is that she always has a drink or two with her meal. So we were talking about an account that I was helping her team with, being the technical operations point of contact for it, and she was talking. I interjected a few times with "yeah" to her. Just something subconscious.
She got upset "Stop saying yeah, it's like you are not listening". I gave her a bit of a smart ass answer and said that we work at the same company and we are talking about the same subject and account. I'm not ignoring you.
Her "You can just go home". "You're not my boyfriend".
This has been one of my issues with her for a while. She comes off as needy/whiny/emotional. She is REALLY into me unfortunately, but I cannot deal with her headcase issues and how she acts. It brings a side of anger that I don't like to show to people.
She has commented on the "yeah" thing before several months ago and that's my way of listening. Just saying guys don't waste your time!
Sorry to hear that the evening didn't pan out. I think the unfortunate circumstance here was a combination of (a) her emotional personality and (b) the booze. Unfortunately, she doesn't sound like she can think straight or have a coherent discussion when she's drinking (like the accusations over the "yeah" habit -- talk about making a mountain out of a molehill).
But alcohol, as they say, it's like a truth serum -- kind of. If you try to be objective and analyze her words and behaviour, I think you'll see a whole lot of insecurity there. She feels attached to you, but isn't sure how to deal with it. The fact that she relies on "liquid courage" to deal with you, and then ends up lashing out, does not bode well for her future with you.
I think you should let her go, and leave her to deal with her issues. She sounds like she has a lot of stuff that she needs to work out on her own.
Maybe the moral of the story is to not date co-workers? Was it a date? Don't go to dinner with people who have headcase issues and act weird? I don't get why you're seeing her, if she tends to blow up on you.
Sorry to hear that the evening didn't pan out. I think the unfortunate circumstance here was a combination of (a) her emotional personality and (b) the booze. Unfortunately, she doesn't sound like she can think straight or have a coherent discussion when she's drinking (like the accusations over the "yeah" habit -- talk about making a mountain out of a molehill).
But alcohol, as they say, it's like a truth serum -- kind of. If you try to be objective and analyze her words and behaviour, I think you'll see a whole lot of insecurity there. She feels attached to you, but isn't sure how to deal with it. The fact that she relies on "liquid courage" to deal with you, and then ends up lashing out, does not bode well for her future with you.
I think you should let her go, and leave her to deal with her issues. She sounds like she has a lot of stuff that she needs to work out on her own.
Yes she does really like me. I really was not ignoring her. I've never dealt with a woman like this before. I told her she has stress or anxiety issues.
I even told her I wasn't ignoring her...I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster
Maybe the moral of the story is to not date co-workers? Was it a date? Don't go to dinner with people who have headcase issues and act weird? I don't get why you're seeing her, if she tends to blow up on you.
Casual dinner but she has feelings for me that are very strong and we were working things out.
Maybe she's used to someone who is the type to display more "active listening" skills?
This sounds insane, but actually try looking up "active listening" on the Net to get some advice on this (it's like a thing in business speak nowadays). You can find tips on "active listening" like asking open-ended questions ("How does that make you feel?" or "What did you think about that?")
This could be a new dating strategy, if you decide to see this girl again. Let us know if it works.
Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. Communication styles are different. It's not always a character flaw.
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