Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Taking care of yourself isn't cheating. It's what you should be doing anyway. People who age faster than what may be considered normal are probably neglecting themselves in some way or have dealt with serious illness.
The body and sagging for the most part shouldn't matter too much because on initial appearance you can't tell below the neck unless the person is wearing revealing clothing or a bad bra. A tummy can be saggy on a very young woman just from having a baby and her breasts can also be affected. That isn't necessarily a sign of aging.
As for my age range, I don't really know anyone around my age with a saggy face unless they're overweight. Thin and in-shape people like me tend to have non-saggy faces.
Again, common knowledge and biology tells you that sun exposure is a huge factor in aging. I have a sister a few years younger than me who works out, eats healthy, and is in very good shape but still looks older than me. The only major lifestyle difference is she has been tanning for years whereas I never have.
Maybe the severely overweight or obese people tend to have older, saggier faces. But I've always thought that 'chubby' people tend to look younger than they actually are. I've read numerous times that that has to do with the extra subcutaneous fat stores in the face pushing out and fluffing up facial wrinkles. Every overweight (not super obese) person that I Know generally has a young-looking baby face. Severely skinny people often look drained and old (at least facially).
Not exactly... this whole tangent we all got off on is pointless. It got out of hand when a few people started name calling (which is why I jumped it... I have female white knight syndrome or something Also, some of the stuff beings said is crazy.... like the above quoted post above mine where it says women lose their sex drive as they age. Science proves the opposite and everyone jokes about how cruel nature is with men peaking 20 years younger than women. There is even an evolutionary theory behind why female sex drive increases... but that would be yet another tangent.
The POINT of this thread if you go back to the first post is a young woman was deceived by an older man who lied about his age and pretended to be someone else online (He was a catfish). She was upset and venting. While her question was "why do older guys hit on younger women?" In reality she's asking a question we all ask (male or female)... "Why do people lie to us in order to try to attract us? Don't they think we will find out?" In her case, the man was posing as a man in his 20s when he was really pushing 40 I think. It could just have easily been a man asking, "why do women lie about their body size?" (because let's face it, there are women out there who are overweight and try to hide that in their online profiles. I have male friends who tell me this). And you would have the same reaction if the woman you were talking to ended up completely lying and being someone you'd never be attracted in. You'd be frustrated too, right?
As all threads do, it diverged. A few of us women relayed how creepy it is (especially when we were teens) when men old enough to be our fathers hit on us. When you are a young, teen girl of about 14 with no experience, it's creepy as hell to have a 50-year-old hit on you. It's like you are still between childhood when parents stress "stranger danger" and adulthood as you are falling for your male teen peers.
Then a few men came in hurling insults to women (pretty much par for the course in this forum). And a few women came in an insulted them back... and BOOM the whole thing took off.
I almost didn't reply at this point because I am tired of the debate and it's died down to a back and forth of people just answering the thread title question without looking at the context.
But it was nice. At one point some of us encouraged a 40-something man to ask out a younger women he knows (he was worried he might be creepy and it was explained why he wouldn't be...) So maybe some good will come out of all this.
LOL....I am the guy you encouraged to ask the younger girl out. And I am 39 now, but I will be 40 by the time I ask this (presumably early 20s) girl out. She is a nice girl and I have nothing to lose.
So many posts! Amazing how touchy this subject is.
I filter women based on attractiveness first, then for minimal vapidity in their profile. Attractiveness does tend to filter out some of those who are older, but then the vapid filter reduces the younger woman pool significantly, so it evens out. I do search by age ranges but that's just to get the total matches to a manageable number. I'll date anyone 18 to 42, but if I search that range it's just too much.
If they're in good shape at 40 I'll message them. All things being equal, I'd probably lean toward younger women, but all things are often NOT equal. I'll make a move on someone in good shape at 36 a lot faster than a 22 yr old who needs to get into the gym.
What I see on women's age restrictions - 18-21 women almost always say maximum 26, sometimes as low as 22-23. 22-25 women split about half with one with a maximum of 27-30 and the other half 32-35. If they have a baby they're always much more lenient on maximum age. 26-29 women typically put max 35-39. 30 and up - this gets kind of quirky, quite a few women in their early 30s have pretty tight age restrictions that are close to their own. 35 and up typically say max 45-50.
The thing that annoys me about online dating is how self-entitled and demanding people seem to be. I realize that each one of us has desires, wants, and needs, and we obviously would like to have the best of everything (house, car, health, income, mate, etc.), but that whole arrogant 'I deserve everything that I seek because I think I am close to perfection' mentality makes me want to become a hermit and go live in the woods somewhere -- or at the very least take a vow of celibacy and go join a temple. Everybody makes concessions and settles in all aspects of their lives. You may wish to live in a mansion on a hill in Pacific Heights, but you settle for a nice ranch home in the suburbs in the East Bay; you may wish to drive a Bentley, but you settle for a well-equipped SUV; you may wish you looked like (insert heart throb/model name here) but you settle for your God-given body and work hard to maximize it or maintain it, etc. BUt...But.....when it comes to picking a mate, so many of these people who settle in other aspects of their lives, all of a sudden feel entitled to the absolute cream of the crop; they are no longer mortal and are no longer willing to settle -- they are all of a sudden star-quality people with diva-like demands who demand the pick of the litter.
And I'm sure guys are the same way, but I am a guy who likes women, so I don't read guys' profiles. All I can do is comment from a guy's perspective. But I do know that after spending time on any random dating site perusing many of the profiles, I often come away with a very negative view of humanity.
No...Not in general..However if it makes you feel better i'm envious of your husband.
It depends on what ages you are talking about. Women generally have a higher sex drive in their 30's than in their teens and 20's but I don't know about the sex drive of women in their, say, 50's and 60's.
Was it one of the Christian ones? I've found that a lot of men who are really into church are also closet misogynists, especially if they're still single by their 30s. They'll go on about what a woman their 30s "should" do to get a husband - which usually involves being very submissive and cooking a lot.
Yes it is. The men there were extremely misogynist. One guy admitted hitting his ex because she refused to obey him. Ironically I am conservative and religious and I got branded a secular liberal there, which is the worst thing you can be according to them.
It depends on what ages you are talking about. Women generally have a higher sex drive in their 30's than in their teens and 20's but I don't know about the sex drive of women in their, say, 50's and 60's.
Didn't know that. But then again, I've only been with women in their twenties. Well, maybe a couple early thirties.
No...Not in general..However if it makes you feel better i'm envious of your husband.
My friends in their thirties and forties generally have higher sex drives than they did in their teens/twenties. Almost all have figured out how to please themselves and how to have a mutually pleasing experience. The ones who haven't figured it out have never had much sex in their entire lives.
Theolder are just more selective and don't sleep around. I think a younger woman is more likely to sleep with someone new than an older woman for various reasons. Lots of young women are messed up and initiate sex because they want to be wanted and think it's what they should do. They think...he might like me if I have sex. They have sex to please a guy vs pleasing themselves. That's different from wanting sex for the sake of sex.
Men will always like attractive women, and an attractive younger woman is especially coveted. I don't think anyone disagrees with that idea. It's the idea that older women are sexless hags who are repellant to men that is offensive.
I just went on okcupid with a fake profile and looked at maybe 20-30 of the guys in competition with me, men 28-33, online in the last day. There's definitely a "type" of guy that seems to populate my area. They don't post the same cliches as women in their profiles, but after a while you start to see a few cliches. "Living the dream" was one that popped up more than twice. They tended to like guy things, particularly the guy activities we have around my area.
The better looking guys seemed to be more douche-y, but the average looking guys seemed alright. On balance, I thought the men's profiles have a slight edge on women's profiles in terms of sounding genuine and original, but that may be because I've never really looked at them. Actually to me a lot of them were too much information. I was surprised at how legnthy some of them were & how much personal information these guys divulge up front. Surprising number of single dads.
Also, my impression was that women have better choices when it comes to attractiveness level. Being a straight guy, maybe I'm not noticing the same things, but 2 out of 3 of the guys were decent looking to me. There weren't that many guys that I would call "really" handsome, but at least half of them were in reasonable shape & groomed. Looking at it objectively, some of them looked like better catches than myself.
Overall I was more impressed than I thought I'd be. It made me feel a little less unique, though. One guy was my same exact age and even looked similar to me & his profile said similar things. Guys outnumbered girls 2-1. I counted 56 profiles in my criteria for guys, 24 for girls.
It makes me wonder why women complain so much.
Last edited by redguard57; 08-02-2014 at 03:04 PM..
Men will always like attractive women, and an attractive younger woman is especially coveted. I don't think anyone disagrees with that idea. It's the idea that older women are sexless hags who are repellant to men that is offensive.
That "old broad" Helen Mirren is one nice looking older woman... puts a lot of younger women to shame......
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Also, some of the stuff beings said is crazy.... like the above quoted post above mine where it says women lose their sex drive as they age. Science proves the opposite and everyone jokes about how cruel nature is with men peaking 20 years younger than women. There is even an evolutionary theory behind why female sex drive increases... but that would be yet another tangent. 
