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Since I usually meet guys online, I understand that I'm a stranger to them and they might have multiple dates that week...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
When you're financially stable, $20 isn't a big deal.
Exactly. But then see above. $20 on you. $20 on the girl tomorrow. $20 on the girl the day after that. $20/ea on the two girls you're supposed to take out the upcoming weekend. See a pattern?
It's easy to talk about how doable it is when it's not your money.
I am confused... I always offer to go Dutch (and am prepared to pay the whole thing if that ever happens). So he would never get the chance to write me off for not offering.
I wouldn't write a man off because he accepted my offer of going Dutch (like I said it hasn't happened yet). But I would probably feel a little differently--like maybe he wasn't all that interested and I would probably assume he wouldn't want a second date. But I wouldn't turn one down a second date if I liked him.
There's nothing to be confused about. His question was clear cut.
I get it, and I sort of have the same thoughts (as in I'm showing interest in her by paying).
If this were any other type of topic, you'd probably get a fair amount coming on here blasting this as "a sense of entitlement".
It's just funny how that mentality doesn't cross over into relationships.
Yeah, it's a hard one. I can see where people might say it's a sense of entitlement. But it's really just being used to something. I think if more men had taken me up on my offer to go Dutch, it wouldn't bother me. But at this point, since NO MAN has taken me up on that offer and all of those men have asked me out again, the first one who does will stand out and I will probably think he took me up on the offer to cut his losses because he's not interested. But again, it doesn't affect my opinion of him, but it effects what I think his opinion of me is (if that makes sense).
I am confused... I always offer to go Dutch (and am prepared to pay the whole thing if that ever happens). So he would never get the chance to write me off for not offering.
I wouldn't write a man off because he accepted my offer of going Dutch (like I said it hasn't happened yet). But I would probably feel a little differently--like maybe he wasn't all that interested and I would probably assume he wouldn't want a second date. But I wouldn't turn one down a second date if I liked him.
Okay, so would you understand men feeling differently/assuming she didn't want a second date if she didn't offer?
Yeah, it's a hard one. I can see where people might say it's a sense of entitlement. But it's really just being used to something. I think if more men had taken me up on my offer to go Dutch, it wouldn't bother me. But at this point, since NO MAN has taken me up on that offer and all of those men have asked me out again, the first one who does will stand out and I will probably think he took me up on the offer to cut his losses because he's not interested. But again, it doesn't affect my opinion of him, but it effects what I think his opinion of me is (if that makes sense).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
$3.50 per gallon of gas is still cheaper than a gallon of milk, right? That's how that argument goes usually. But you're not buying a gallon of gas. You're usually buying 15+ gallons of gas.
What? Dude, if $20 makes a difference to you when going out in an evening, you might not be in a place to date. Seriously. Get your finances in order.
There's nothing to be confused about. His question was clear cut.
How is it clear cut... he said, "Would you be understanding if he wrote you off for not offering?" I ALWAYS offer to go Dutch and I spelled that out in my post (and am prepared to pay the whole thing--just in case). Is he asking if I suddenly changed the way I acted and stopped offering to go Dutch? I can assure you, that's not going to happen. Even when I dated a man who never let me pay for anything, I always offered (even though I knew he would say no).
Exactly. But then see above. $20 on you. $20 on the girl tomorrow. $20 on the girl the day after that. $20/ea on the two girls you're supposed to take out the upcoming weekend. See a pattern?
It's easy to talk about how doable it is when it's not your money.
If I were in his position, I wouldn't be seeing that many women anyway but if I were, I'd still pay for the ones I really liked.
So I stand by what I said previously.
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