Dating someone who is moving away? (long distance, how to, man, love)
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This might be kinda long, so here is the ultimate question: Would you consider starting a relationship with someone who was potentially moving in 2 months?
The situation: I posted on here a few months ago about a guy who ended up being nuts. I slept with him too soon, he told me he loved me after a week. Etc. It was a mess. Right after that ended I met this new guy unexpectedly. He and I hit it off, have been seeing each other 2-3 times per week for 6 weeks now. Have NOT slept together, taking it slow. We both really like each other and have established this. Last night we got into a deep conversation where he admitted that right before he met me he had applied for a company transfer to their Florida location (we're in NY). He told me he didn't know what to do because he didn't expect this to happen between us. He should know if he got the transfer by this Friday, and if he did he would be moving in October. He was planning on waiting until after he found out to tell me because he didn't want to have to bring it up if it wasn't going to happen, but I guess it was just eating away at him keeping it in. Obviously I'm going to wait and see if he got his transfer, but honestly I don't see why he wouldn't. He's a great employee and has been with them for a few years now.
I'm torn about how to handle this from there. He's a really sincere guy and said that he felt like total crap about it and wouldn't blame me if I wanted nothing to do with him after he said that. But that's not how I operate really. My instinct would be to see where it goes over the next two months and see where we're at when it comes to be time for him to move. I know that 3 and a half months of dating isn't a long time and it might be difficult to establish something meaningful in that length of time, but we both expressed that we haven't felt this way about someone in some time. The other thing is I just moved to my current city in May, and I only have a required 9 more months here. So reasonably if we did work out we could do 6 months long distance or something, but I feel kinda crazy even thinking about that since this whole thing is just starting still. But my point is that with my job it's not unreasonable at all for me to move to Florida when I'm done with my commitment here.
Is my thinking just totally off base here? I know it would be EASIER to just end things now, but what good does it do me to always play it safe and never take risks in life?
I dont think you have anything to lose in seeing how it goes from here. He could end up being the man you spend the rest of your life with. Or not. You won't know if you don't try.
i dated someone for 8 months, we broke up only because she went back to jamaica, and i came back to az. we tried the long distance relationship for a while, but we both knew when i took her to the airport that is was over, and we parted amicably. take a wait and see attitude here, he may not get the transfer, and if he does, and you can move to where he is later on, then work it out. if things dont work out, be ready for that as well so the "break up" goes easily.
The way I see it there are so many things that are uncertain in life as it is. For all I know I could be hit by a bus on my way home tonight, ya know? It just seems like I would be selling myself short to end something that seems like it has potential because of this.
I think what I'm going to do is wait and see if he got his transfer, and if he does we'll have to have a serious talk. I'm willing to give it a shot if we're in a committed relationship with potential, but not as just a casual thing leading up to when he leaves.
I've done the long distance thing before actually. Same sort of situation. Guy I went to high school with, started seeing him 3 weeks before I left for college. We ended up dating long distance all four years and then living together for two years after college before breaking up. So this isn't entirely new to me. It's just new as an adult in a strange city with someone I haven't known for long who is moving to a place that I have no real ties to. lol.
Just out of curiosity, what was his reason for applying for the transfer? Is he unhappy where he is living now? Does he want to live in Florida in particular? If he doesn't get the transfer, will he be looking for other jobs in Florida?
I wouldn't. In fact, I tell people I'm moving in hopes they get the hint that I'm not interested (I am looking for jobs so I can relocate). I'm unhappy where I am currently.
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Dating someone who is moving away
