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So reading some threads on this forum some people are unsure of they way we send our flirting signals. Obviously it is different for everyone, but I thought this thread could giver people some ideas on what to try or what to look for.
Share the sorts of things you do when you are flirting with intent. Here are two of mine.
1. I am too chicken to approach unless there is a really good reason for me to approach you to initiate a conversation (read this as obvious reason, like you are already talking to someone I know). Since this doesn't happen most of the time, then orbiting is the way to go. Basically I will plant myself nearby (and make really slight eye contact occasionally) so you only have a few steps to go if you want to chat with me. This might mean walking past you to go to the bathroom a few times, and maybe stopping to put on lip gloss or check my phone halfway there in your field of vision. Or it could mean planting myself at the table near yours during a cocktail party.
2. Assuming I am already talking to you, then I'll find a reason to touch your lower arm or elbow during the conversation to make a point. I'll live my hand there for just one extra second so you know it is intentional (and of course read your corresponding body language).
1. I am too chicken to approach unless there is a really good reason for me to approach you to initiate a conversation (read this as obvious reason, like you are already talking to someone I know). Since this doesn't happen most of the time, then orbiting is the way to go. Basically I will plant myself nearby (and make really slight eye contact occasionally) so you only have a few steps to go if you want to chat with me. This might mean walking past you to go to the bathroom a few times, and maybe stopping to put on lip gloss or check my phone halfway there in your field of vision. Or it could mean planting myself at the table near yours during a cocktail party.
This is really subtle. I'm usually oblivious. Does this work for you? Maybe I should start paying more attention to my surroundings, lol
when i decide to flirt with someone, i get into it. it starts with innocent joking around, and depending on the other persons body language, and other signs, it can get interesting. it is always lighthearted banter though. i might touch the other person, depending on their reaction to me when i move in a little closer. if they dont pull away, i will touch the shoulder, or the upper back depending on how i am situated.
I have always been terrified of rejection, so I certainly am shy and don't approach. I plan to change that, but it's easier when you move some place where family, and classmates, aren't all around, so the rejection isn't as embarrassing. I could simply leave, and possibly go to another guy and try my luck with him.
But it's gonna be a while before then. Can't go from totally shy to approaching random men instantly. Plus, I am self-conscious about my eye. So, i'll need to fix that 1st. lol
But, like you, I try to put myself someplace to be noticed. Or dressing very nice when I go out, lipstick and blush included.
It doesn't work. lol If I am noticed, it's by someone I am not attracted to.
But it's gonna be a while before then. Can't go from totally shy to approaching random men instantly. Plus, I am self-conscious about my eye. So, i'll need to fix that 1st. lol
BTW my sister has a lazy eye. Not long after she finished school she ended up doing a 2 or 3 year study with the local optometry school. Basically she had to play shooter video games a few hours a week. They paid her too. I don't remember the details, but it was a grad student experiment. Anyway, it sounds totally dumb, but her eyes improved! It was win win for her. She got paid more than the typical retail job! I don't know what became of the research, but if there is an optometry school nearby......
Lately I've been more the flirtee than the flirter (huh? Yeah, I just made up a word) so usually I just respond in kind. This usually includes light touching on the arm or shoulder, laughing a soft laugh, tossing my hair over my shoulder, etc.
Other subtle things I'll do while we're talking include lightly rubbing my collarbone while listening contemplatively. Listening is a big thing too; that way I can ask questions later or at another time. "Hey, how did that job interview turn out?" "Hey, how is your mother's chihuahua Trixie doing?" That type of thing.
And a nice little trick from me to you: touching a man on the arm while saying his name and showing genuine interest in his life. "Scott, I've noticed you have a 26.2 sticker on your car. Tell me about your first marathon."
I don't approach. I am too shy to do that, and rejection would probably destroy me lol.
Mainly the guys are the ones who flirt with me. All I have to do is smile or give them the go I suppose.
Typically when I have "flirted" I would just be laughing and smiling the whole time. Pretty much having a nice conversation with the guy, and laughing at all his jokes. Mainly we just tease each other and play "hit". Lol
This is really subtle. I'm usually oblivious. Does this work for you? Maybe I should start paying more attention to my surroundings, lol
You know it seems totally dumb, but it works way more than you would think. You are nearby, you can make eye contact with a friendly smile. The first time they will likely smile back. And over the next few minutes you can make a little more eye contact.
Some people will be excited by the whole girl smiling at me thing and start talking or say hi.
And if they don't notice you? Oh well, you were just standing there, it isn't suspicious. You can go try and talk to them anyway, since you happen to be near. You might even be able to come up with an opener: like at a cocktail party where's the bar, what't the best drink here, are the appetizers god, do you have menu?. At a fundraiser you can point to the silent auction stuff and ask them if they picked anything or checked out the merchandise.
I am pretty good at talking to strangers anyway. But walking across the room to talk to someone. Well that is totally obvious. Chatting with a person next to you in line or at the next table? So much easier.
Or you might start orbiting, and get closer and figure out they weren't as cute as you thought. Or their SO comes over a few minutes later. LOL!
BTW my sister has a lazy eye. Not long after she finished school she ended up doing a 2 or 3 year study with the local optometry school. Basically she had to play shooter video games a few hours a week. They paid her too. I don't remember the details, but it was a grad student experiment. Anyway, it sounds totally dumb, but her eyes improved! It was win win for her. She got paid more than the typical retail job! I don't know what became of the research, but if there is an optometry school nearby......
I talked to my eye doctor about surgery. He didn't say anything else about it. And he said he needed to talk and see if the surgeon could do it because my eyes are constantly moving, so it'll be tricky.
Congrats for your sister. She got fixed up, and paid. She was lucky.
I can't say the same for myself-vanity wise. lol
I just want it fixed asap, because I am tired of looking at it. lol And if I am tired of it, don't take a genius to know a guy won't like looking at it. lol
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