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Helping her would be the right thing to do since you made a desperate woman and children a promise, but legally, you owe her nothing. It's up to you what you do. I would find it to be honorable if you helped her, but she does need to learn the hard lesson in life at some point of not trusting a persons mere word. It's something everyone needs to learn, even her children.
And, you need to learn not to get yourself in situations like this again (where you offer to extend yourself in such a way in a situation that you don't know exactly what you're getting into). Learn to be more cautious and not make promises that you don't know if you can/will keep.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Why do you feel the terms are unfair? You promised to help w/the rent whether or not you two were romantically involved. You should keep that promise, unless there's very good justification for breaking it. Let this be a lesson in making promises too easily.
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Originally Posted by Wakawaka67
I thought about the whole honor thing except:
Im 32 yrs old. I dont need to proof to myself im a good guy
second, what honor is there in a relationship that doesnt exist?
Yes there was a promise. But we also said we would go to disneyland, ny, florida. But thats not happening. Whats so different?
Ugh hate the guilt though
i have to agree with the others OP, you made a promise, and now you should keep it. it will be an expensive lesson for you, but one you must learn anyway.
$300.00 is nothing if you are ensuring the child gets a decent meal and a warm dry place to sleep. No child should have to live in a car or a cardboard box especially because of a decision made by a parent. You help them out...and you will be rewarded eventually. Maybe not by her...maybe not immediately...but you will be rewarded none the less.
Helping her would be the right thing to do since you made a desperate woman and children a promise, but legally, you owe her nothing.
If your name is on the lease along with hers, then the landlord can come after you for 100% of the rent, not just $300. And, in some states (California comes to mind), even if you are not on the lease.
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Originally Posted by Wakawaka67
I thought about the whole honor thing except:
Im 32 yrs old. I dont need to proof to myself im a good guy
Well, it seems like you do. It seems like you are tempted to do the scummy thing.
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second, what honor is there in a relationship that doesnt exist?
Honor has nothing to do with a relationship. Honor is about being a decent human being for yourself, and for the future friends and business opportunities and lovers that will attract.
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Yes there was a promise. But we also said we would go to disneyland, ny, florida. But thats not happening. Whats so different?
I think you are a big boy and can answer for yourself what is different.
Yea but you know what .. Shes got a daddy who sees her 2 weekends a month. Why the heck am i paying for that kid when he doesnt pay crap and sees her. I wont ever see her again
alright so heres the truth...its actually 900 for a 12mo lease. i know she needs it and she works hard but i feel paying over $10000 for a relat lasting 3 months for a kid that isnt mine. something is wrong
alright so heres the truth...its actually 900 for a 12mo lease. i know she needs it and she works hard but i feel paying over $10000 for a relat lasting 3 months for a kid that isnt mine. something is wrong
Wait, you lied to us when asking our advice on ethics?
Dude. You've got bigger problems.
But I agree that 10k is not realistic. (Unless you make 100k or more.) What is the penalty for breaking the lease? I bet it's a lot less than 10k. Can she afford a decent place on her own? Will she need to move to another city or something? You could pay the lease penalty and help her with what she needs to get set up at a new place.
Of course at this point I don't figure I can believe a word you say.
Wait, you lied to us when asking our advice on ethics?
Dude. You've got bigger problems.
But I agree that 10k is not realistic. (Unless you make 100k or more.) What is the penalty for breaking the lease? I bet it's a lot less than 10k. Can she afford a decent place on her own? Will she need to move to another city or something? You could pay the lease penalty and help her with what she needs to get set up at a new place.
Of course at this point I don't figure I can believe a word you say.
good thinking ! i could pay the lease term fee. but she/ i lose the 2200 deposit and 1st month rent . that means i would lose nearly 10k in relocating her anyway
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