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I'm 26 and have always been attracted to men, I've never been with a man though. Not even once. Only been with a woman. I've never been in a relationship at all, no love, all alone, cold, blahhhh! I act straight, I'm a good looking "country boy" and no one knows anything about my interest. I keep it to myself. I workout, I live healthy, I mind my business, etc.,
I've been to the gay bars, and saw how problematic the lifestyle was, I tried to have other friends from that community and man did they bring me so much drama, I tried that scene out when I was 19 and removed myself from it. And no I didn't get with anyone, I was too picky. All of those "friends" from 2007 have all since passed away, as a result of the most common virus that plagues the community. Its sad. But they brought it upon themselves based upon their own choices.
I'm at this point where I'm now 26 and realizing that this fantasy that mainstream society is portraying the gay lifestyle as, isn't actually real. I never saw anyone settling down or trying to get married. Every dating site I tried for, no one was there for love/dates. SO I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING ME A WOMAN! A man cant give me kids, or commit or be loyal. All I ever saw was my female friends getting cheated on and crying, used, abused and treated poorly. I'm not a mean guy. I have no intentions of being hurt, I just want someone to spend my life with, have a family. So I guess I think women are safer? Unfortunately all I'm reading lately is that women cheat, lie, steal, blah, blah, blah, is this true? Should I be worried? And as for you women out there, I have a question, since I never dated or did anything with a man, should I tell my future GF that I am attracted to men? Or should I bury this as a piece of my past and move on? How would it make you ladies feel?
You're going to find bad things everywhere you go as well as good things.
Interesting OP, though. People lie, cheat, steal, blah blah blah. Men and women do it. It is human nature.
I guess I was hoping that women who have dated or are in relationships with similar men would reply to my post.
Here I am!
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixiebobPNW
I've been to the gay bars, and saw how problematic the lifestyle was, I tried to have other friends from that community and man did they bring me so much drama, I tried that scene out when I was 19 and removed myself from it. And no I didn't get with anyone, I was too picky. All of those "friends" from 2007 have all since passed away, as a result of the most common virus that plagues the community. Its sad. But they brought it upon themselves based upon their own choices.
I'm at this point where I'm now 26 and realizing that this fantasy that mainstream society is portraying the gay lifestyle as, isn't actually real. I never saw anyone settling down or trying to get married. Every dating site I tried for, no one was there for love/dates. SO I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING ME A WOMAN! A man cant give me kids, or commit or be loyal. All I ever saw was my female friends getting cheated on and crying, used, abused and treated poorly. I'm not a mean guy. I have no intentions of being hurt, I just want someone to spend my life with, have a family. So I guess I think women are safer? Unfortunately all I'm reading lately is that women cheat, lie, steal, blah, blah, blah, is this true? Should I be worried? And as for you women out there, I have a question, since I never dated or did anything with a man, should I tell my future GF that I am attracted to men? Or should I bury this as a piece of my past and move on? How would it make you ladies feel?
You probably hear all the time about marriages that lasted about 20-25 years and then suddenly the man came out gay. Guess what--he was just like you once. If you marry a woman knowing that you are attracted to men, you are leading her on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixiebobPNW
How would it be cruel for the woman? If I'm looking for love, and a spouse, what's cruel about that?
What's cruel is when you can no longer perform sexually for her and she starts to beat herself up and then you come out gay and she realizes that she was never the one you wanted and that you settled. She realizes that every time you made love you were not thinking about her. Not a nice feeling. Now, think about it this way. When a man is young he is horny enough to get it on with just about anything. When he hits 50 or so, "possible" gets a lot more picky about where he's willing to go and that's when your marriage will be over. Approximately of course.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixiebobPNW
Women settle for whatever and whomever they can get. They are so desperate and ravenous to be with a man. Women don't care and have no shame.
I have to find a woman that I'm OK to be with. Not the other way around. I'm not devalued. I don't have to desperately seek a woman and beg her. Almost all women are bisexual anyway and heck I believe almost all men are too. Most never explore it. But we see women all over TV going for other women.
And after my ex came out, he told me that gay men spend a lot of time bashing women behind their backs and talking about how gross and stupid they are. You just started early is all. Please, please stick with men. And please don't take that crap you see on TV as the gospel truth.
Women settle for whatever and whomever they can get. They are so desperate and ravenous to be with a man. Women don't care and have no shame.
I have to find a woman that I'm OK to be with. Not the other way around. I'm not devalued. I don't have to desperately seek a woman and beg her. Almost all women are bisexual anyway and heck I believe almost all men are too. Most never explore it. But we see women all over TV going for other women.
Um, no.
You are delusional.
You need to get educated and grow up, get out of whatever town you live in so you won't think life is like TV.
The last thing you need is to couple up with anyone. You have some serious personal issues that you need professional help to resolve.
Thank you for your reply. Its meaningful. I appreciate it.
No prob...best of luck to you...ive always said that its a very westernized religious concept that gay men and women who marry a person of the opposite sex are supposed to be ashamed and racked with guilt for fear of presumably breaking some "poor straight person's heart"....the vast majority of straight marriages involve some form of deceit or omitted information....as laughable as it sounds, ive even heard people say that they would even be more ok with you ACTIVELY cheating with another person of the opposite sex (a woman in your case) within a marriage, than to be in a completely monogamous relationship with a woman while believing youre gay. .lol...yes, ive actually heard a full grown adult say that.
That defies logic, but thats what these fervent adherences to the western religious notions of "sin", and "guilt", and "having a "guilty conscience" thats supposed to eat at you until you "confess your sins/confess to being gay" etc creates...theyre all very similar religious concepts that rest on the notion that youre supposed to be racked with guilt about something that has no proven outcome with respect to your particular scenario other than youre supposedly going to hell or your life will fall apart if you dont come out of the closet or confess whatever sins youre supposed to be racked with guilt and ashamed about..
Last edited by soletaire; 08-17-2014 at 04:56 PM..
No prob...best of luck to you...ive always said that its a very westernized religious concept that gay men and women who marry a person of the opposite sex are supposed to be ashamed and racked with guilt for fear of presumably breaking some "poor straight person's heart"....the vast majority of straight marriages involve some form of deceit or omitted information....as laughable as it sounds, ive even heard people say that they would even be more ok with you ACTIVELY cheating with another person of the opposite sex (a woman in your case) within a marriage, than to be in a completely monogamous relationship with a woman while believing youre gay. .lol...yes, ive actually heard a full grown adult say that.
That defies logic, but thats what these fervent adherences to the western religious notions of "sin", and "guilt", and "having a "guilty conscience" thats supposed to eat at you until you "confess your sins/confess to being gay" etc...theyre all very similar religious concepts that rest on the notion that youre supposed to be racked with guilt about something that has no proven outcome with respect to your particular scenario other than youre supposedly going to hell or your life will fall apart if you dont come out of the closet or confess whatever sins youre supposed to be racked with guilt and shame about..
"...western religious notion ... '' blah blah blah Any more cubicle sociology you want to share?
Look, this is not a vast right-wing conspiracy. Nobody cares about the OP's conscience.
He's not happy now, and if he wants to be unhappy 25 years from now, then yes, he should find and marry the first desperate woman who checks off his very short list.
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Any more cubicle sociology you want to share?
