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This just seems to keep happening to me. I meet someone I like, we start dating, next thing I know I'm head over heals and in a relationship and eventually heart-broken. It's pretty pathetic really. I don't know how other guys can just keep cool and distant.
You've only known her a week, and you're already falling for her? Think about this: you hardly know her at this stage. Not well enough to be head-over-heels. What you tend to experience is more like initial infatuation. You don't know her deeply enough for it to be love. For all you know, after a couple of months, she could turn out to have some repellant qualities. So take a big step back, and give yourself a chance to get to know her, instead of pinning all your hopes and dreams on the newest pretty face in your life.
Remind yourself: You've only scratched the surface in terms of getting to know her. She may have skeletons in her closet you find unacceptable. She may turn out to be manipulative, flaky, or a heart-breaker. All you're seeing now is the tip of the iceberg. Keep telling yourself that. You don't want to be the next Titanic.
You've only known her a week, and you're already falling for her? Think about this: you hardly know her at this stage. Not well enough to be head-over-heels. What you tend to experience is more like initial infatuation. You don't know her deeply enough for it to be love. For all you know, after a couple of months, she could turn out to have some repellant qualities. So take a big step back, and give yourself a chance to get to know her, instead of pinning all your hopes and dreams on the newest pretty face in your life.
Remind yourself: You've only scratched the surface in terms of getting to know her. She may have skeletons in her closet you find unacceptable. She may turn out to be manipulative, flaky, or a heart-breaker. All you're seeing now is the tip of the iceberg. Keep telling yourself that.
I told you, I'm a hopeless romantic... love at first sight and all that.
But seriously, this is what I needed to hear, thanks.
I told you, I'm a hopeless romantic... love at first sight and all that.
But seriously, this is what I needed to hear, thanks.
Lots of people go through this, it's human. The trick is figuring out how to prevent yourself from projecting perfection onto people, and see them for who they are. Let their personality unfold over time. It's a process, not a magic moment at first sight.
Help me out guys. I'm an attractive guy with a decent job and my own place and everything... I could be playing the field, but I'm also a hopeless romantic. I just started seeing this girl last week and I'm becoming too attached already.
Any tips on keeping her at arms length and yet still interested? I don't want to lose her... yet, but I don't want to limit my options either.
Please don't change. We have so few male hopeless romantics. It is an asset really. If anything, you should change the kind of girls you go for and screen better for the ones who are more appreciative of it. Doing that numbers thing or even keeping her at a distance will change you too. Just do exactly what you feel and let the chips fall where they may.
OP you have to learn to control your emotions, and your hormones. that way you can still fall in love, but when teh relationship is over, you can walk away from it without pain. i realized years ago that all relationships end at some point, and while you want them to last as long as possible, you still have to come to terms with them ending.
i have loved every woman i have ever dated, either in the short term or the long term, and i still do. and when the relationships ended, i tried to stay on good terms with every one of the ladies when i could. remember they put up with you for the duration, you can do the same thing when its over.
Help me out guys. I'm an attractive guy with a decent job and my own place and everything... I could be playing the field, but I'm also a hopeless romantic. I just started seeing this girl last week and I'm becoming too attached already.
Any tips on keeping her at arms length and yet still interested? I don't want to lose her... yet, but I don't want to limit my options either.
It helps to keep in mind that you are not actually in love.
Calling yourself a "hopeless romantic" means you are giving up ANY control over your emotions. It's not a good thing and is a cop-out, really. It's like parents who let their kid run wild while saying, "He's 4. What are we gonna do??"
If you understand infatuation, then you can enjoy it as a phase without losing yourself in it. Infatuation is really more about YOU than the girl. It's about how you WANT the relationship to be and what you WANT her to be like. That's why we idealize the other person and see them only with rose-colored glasses.
It takes work to control your thoughts during that phase, but if you actively work to stop your brain from obsessing about the person and actually SEE HER for who she is and not who you want her to be, then you won't fall so quickly.
OP. You like the idea of being a player but you're not. You actually wear your heart on your sleeve. In mean one week and your goo goo over this woman.
Help me out guys. I'm an attractive guy with a decent job and my own place and everything... I could be playing the field, but I'm also a hopeless romantic. I just started seeing this girl last week and I'm becoming too attached already.
Any tips on keeping her at arms length and yet still interested? I don't want to lose her... yet, but I don't want to limit my options either.
Folks like you are really just in love with the idea of being in love
What you are doing is crushing on every woman you date, not really falling in love.
Practice a little more self-discipline and learn to better control your emotions rather than letting them control you and you'll be fine. JUST SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY THE JOURNEY.
OP. You like the idea of being a player but you're not. You actually wear your heart on your sleeve. In mean one week and your goo goo over this woman.
Definitely not a player... I just feel like I could be and my friends make it look so appealing. I'm 100% heart-on-sleeve to a fatal fault.
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