Just one week of No-contact rule and I have started to miss her (sex, friends)
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Dude, these are red flags. Do you really want to have a LTR with this woman? Are you into women who sneak around behind your back with other dudes? Seriously? Why are you with her, anyway? You know there are women out there who don't sneak around, and aren't crazy with money, right?
Right?
Normally she was a sweet and nice person. Just recently she changed. No LTR here , however like I said before we had been good friends since we were kids , so at least if the dating does not work out, we can remain to be friends.
If I were you, I would stay friends but not bang her. If you don't think you can do that, then avoid contact until you can (or forever, whichever is sooner).
Using NC as a punishment is one of the more whacko things I have heard on this forum.
Oh, and, btw, if you gave her that much money, she was not a gf. She was a prostitute. Smart businesswoman.
Normally she was a sweet and nice person. Just recently she changed. No LTR here , however like I said before we had been good friends since we were kids , so at least if the dating does not work out, we can remain to be friends.
I don't think she changed. When you were friends, you didn't know she was the lying type, because the situation never came up. "Friends" is a more superficial category than gf/bf. And as friends, you never loaned her major money, right? So now you're finding out more about her, you're getting a more complete picture of her, and it doesn't sit right with you. So that means she's not for you, except as a friend.
I like this girl a lot and we have been dating for a couple months. However I figured out she lied to me 2-3 times about her personal life. She tried to hide it and thought I could not find out. So I was really upset and decided to cut contact with her completely even though she apologized to me.I intend to block her for at least 2 months. I wonder what is the appropriate length for the NC rule. I have started to miss talking to her just after one week. I want to forgive her this time and at least we can be friend again, however, I don't want her to see me as a weak and easy-manipulating person.
If I were you, I would stay friends but not bang her. If you don't think you can do that, then avoid contact until you can (or forever, whichever is sooner).
Using NC as a punishment is one of the more whacko things I have heard on this forum.
Oh, and, btw, if you gave her that much money, she was not a gf. She was a prostitute. Smart businesswoman.
Harsh, but true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster;
I don't think she changed. When you were friends, you didn't know she was the lying type, because the situation never came up. "Friends" is a more superficial category than gf/bf. And as friends, you never loaned her major money, right? So now you're finding out more about her, you're getting a more complete picture of her, and it doesn't sit right with you. So that means she's not for you, except as a friend.
Also true. Face it, OP. If you only want to deal with the sweet-and-nice part of her, dial it back and just be friends. Or like the others say, move on altogether. Those are your choices, because she's not going to change.
About the money part, I can elaborate a bit. Her financial aid paper had some problem, so the money did not disburse on time. I lent her the money for the equipment she needed. It 's not like those equipment is a total waste, she will need them at the end of the semester when project is given , but she exaggerated a bit the need of them at early stage . I guess she just wants to have a new laptop.
Later on, she got her financial aid money , but she did not give me back my money right away. After I got mad with her , she gave it back. She told me she really liked that dress and would pay back to me later at the end of the semester.
What really annoys me is about seeing her ex part. Well I admit that I flirted with her a lot when she broke up with her ex. She told me business between them had been over. But yeah, she kept checking on him here and there. LOL
About the money part, I can elaborate a bit. Her financial aid paper had some problem, so the money did not disburse on time. I lent her the money for the equipment she needed. It 's not like those equipment is a total waste, she will need them at the end of the semester when project is given , but she exaggerated a bit the need of them at early stage . I guess she just wants to have a new laptop.
Later on, she got her financial aid money , but she did not give me back my money right away. After I got mad with her , she gave it back. She told me she really liked that dress and would pay back to me later at the end of the semester.
What really annoys me is about seeing her ex part. Well I admit that I flirted with her a lot when she broke up with her ex. She told me business between them had been over. But yeah, she kept checking on him here and there. LOL
So she wanted you to provide her money to pay for the equipment she needed plus a laptop, which she did not bother to tell you about. How generous are you with your friends? I am wondering if she took advantage of your generosity.
If she wanted a dress, she should have paid for it on her own.
What kind of friendship do you want with her considering her behavior?
OP, does she have a job? Can she not buy her own clothes? Does she get any help from her parents? I'm wondering why she has to steal from and deceive friends in order to buy clothes.
Maybe she should get a part-time job, if she doesn't have one. If she does have one, she should consider picking up a few hours of waitressing on the weekends, or something, for extra cash. That's what responsible people do when their budget isn't adequate to cover their needs. They don't take advantage of, and lie to, friends.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-25-2014 at 04:40 PM..
If you like her, really like her, get over your miffedness and call her right now.
In two months, 60 days, you will be a fleeting memory for her if you aren't already. Tell her why you were upset and let it go. Get on with whatever relationship may occur.
Since more of the story has come out since I posted this I would amend this to proceed carefully.
She took financial advantage of you.
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