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I'm 26 and have always been attracted to men, I've never been with a man though. Not even once. Only been with a woman. I've never been in a relationship at all, no love, all alone, cold, blahhhh! I act straight, I'm a good looking "country boy" and no one knows anything about my interest. I keep it to myself. I workout, I live healthy, I mind my business, etc.,
I've been to the gay bars, and saw how problematic the lifestyle was, I tried to have other friends from that community and man did they bring me so much drama, I tried that scene out when I was 19 and removed myself from it. And no I didn't get with anyone, I was too picky. All of those "friends" from 2007 have all since passed away, as a result of the most common virus that plagues the community. Its sad. But they brought it upon themselves based upon their own choices.
I'm at this point where I'm now 26 and realizing that this fantasy that mainstream society is portraying the gay lifestyle as, isn't actually real. I never saw anyone settling down or trying to get married. Every dating site I tried for, no one was there for love/dates. SO I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING ME A WOMAN! A man cant give me kids, or commit or be loyal. All I ever saw was my female friends getting cheated on and crying, used, abused and treated poorly. I'm not a mean guy. I have no intentions of being hurt, I just want someone to spend my life with, have a family. So I guess I think women are safer? Unfortunately all I'm reading lately is that women cheat, lie, steal, blah, blah, blah, is this true? Should I be worried? And as for you women out there, I have a question, since I never dated or did anything with a man, should I tell my future GF that I am attracted to men? Or should I bury this as a piece of my past and move on? How would it make you ladies feel?
I'm at this point where I'm now 26 and realizing that this fantasy that mainstream society is portraying the gay lifestyle as, isn't actually real. I never saw anyone settling down or trying to get married. Every dating site I tried for, no one was there for love/dates. SO I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING ME A WOMAN! A man cant give me kids, or commit or be loyal. All I ever saw was my female friends getting cheated on and crying, used, abused and treated poorly. I'm not a mean guy. I have no intentions of being hurt, I just want someone to spend my life with, have a family. So I guess I think women are safer? Unfortunately all I'm reading lately is that women cheat, lie, steal, blah, blah, blah, is this true? Should I be worried? And as for you women out there, I have a question, since I never dated or did anything with a man, should I tell my future GF that I am attracted to men? Or should I bury this as a piece of my past and move on? How would it make you ladies feel?
First of all, plenty of gay people have long-term, committed, monogamous relationships and many of them are now getting married where the state affords them that right. Why do you think it's such a big deal?
Second, don't do this to either yourself or a woman, please. It's beyond the pale in selfishness and cruelty. Move to a gay-friendly city, find a man, settle down, and adopt kids or have a female friend be a surrogate. Plenty of gay men do.
First of all, plenty of gay people have long-term, committed, monogamous relationships and many of them are now getting married where the state affords them that right. Why do you think it's such a big deal?
Second, don't do this to either yourself or a woman, please. It's beyond the pale in selfishness and cruelty. Move to a gay-friendly city, find a man, settle down, and adopt kids or have a female friend be a surrogate. Plenty of gay men do.
Been there done that, never saw it happen. I don't know of any gays that are settled, getting married or having kids. I hung around them, I question them, I pay attention to their lives and I live in an extremely gay friendly city. There is nothing safe or friendly about this lifestyle at all. It has a brutal ending. But, since you know the lifestyle so well... you know better then me, eh? I keep hearing the phrase "PLENTY OF GAYS HAVE LONG-TERM relationships" But I never see it anywhere.
How would it be cruel for the woman? If I'm looking for love, and a spouse, what's cruel about that?
Why? I am asking simple questions as an outlet for perspective. So because I have a different experience from what you view on TV, this means my post is fishy?
Been there done that, never saw it happen. I don't know of any gays that are settled, getting married or having kids. I hung around them, I question them, I pay attention to their lives and I live in an extremely gay friendly city. There is nothing safe or friendly about this lifestyle at all. It has a brutal ending. But, since you know the lifestyle so well... you know better then me, eh? I keep hearing the phrase "PLENTY OF GAYS HAVE LONG-TERM relationships" But I never see it anywhere.
How would it be cruel for the woman? If I'm looking for love, and a spouse, what's cruel about that?
Because it's a lie. You will be miserable. When she finds out you are gay, she will be heartbroken. And your kids will suffer for it.
As for not seeing gay people settle down, you need to get out more. You're 26. Bars and personal ads are not how you meet men who want to settle down. It's how you meet cruisers.
And yes, I do know better than you, as all of my gay friends are settled down, some for more than 20 years.
I agree with Zen. Something is hinky about this thread.
Been there done that, never saw it happen. I don't know of any gays that are settled, getting married or having kids. I hung around them, I question them, I pay attention to their lives and I live in an extremely gay friendly city. There is nothing safe or friendly about this lifestyle at all. It has a brutal ending. But, since you know the lifestyle so well... you know better then me, eh? I keep hearing the phrase "PLENTY OF GAYS HAVE LONG-TERM relationships" But I never see it anywhere.
How would it be cruel for the woman? If I'm looking for love, and a spouse, what's cruel about that?
YOu probably never "see" it because the gay couples who are settled and monogamous aren't the ones out cruising gay bars on the weekends or with a Grindr profile.
It's cruel to the woman because if you present yourself as straight, she's going to assume that you're actually attracted to her and not picturing Chris Hemsworth while you're having sex. And would you able to be monogamous, or would you be sneaking off on the sly to fulfill your sexual needs?
Because it's a lie. You will be miserable. When she finds out you are gay, she will be heartbroken. And your kids will suffer for it.
As for not seeing gay people settle down, you need to get out more. You're 26. Bars and personal ads are not how you meet men who want to settle down. It's how you meet cruisers.
And yes, I do know better than you, as all of my gay friends are settled down, some for more than 20 years.
I agree with Zen. Something is hinky about this thread.
I personally would LOVE to meet someone similar to me, but they're all straight. And I'm not the kind of person to 'convert' someone. Its out of line.
I'm miserable being single. And being this way isn't socially accepted. Especially not in my family.
I personally would LOVE to meet someone similar to me, but they're all straight. And I'm not the kind of person to 'convert' someone. Its out of line.
I'm miserable being single. And being this way isn't socially accepted. Especially not in my family.
Your family is not living your life. You are.
The only way you are going to find true happiness in this life is to be true to yourself, and who and what you are.
I try not to toss this out higgledy-piggledy, but it sounds like you could benefit from some counseling.
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