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Old 09-16-2014, 05:58 AM
 
785 posts, read 954,224 times
Reputation: 512

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I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

I've been on and off this girl since January. The fact that she cheated on her ex twice (and one of those times being with me) didn't bode well with me. She has always been crazy into me, but I've had my reservations which causes conflicts.

When we've argued she likes to swear a lot and name call. I retaliate and get really personal. It obviously hurts her and I hate this.

Fast forward, she tells me that a friend of hers that had a crush on her is harassing her, almost getting physical i.e. trapping and coercing her in her own place. I was wondering why he was there in the first place. She asks me to come over to deter him away.

She tells me that he gets crazy jealous that he hates me, which I already know because I'm dating her. He's always tried to throw me under the bus but couldn't. She later reveals to me in a moment of weakness that her and him slept together. She said that she mentions and alluded to it, but I had no recollection of it and she told me for the longest I was the only one she slept with.

I was a bit irked by it, mostly because she's known this guy for over two years and he was always in the background waiting for his shot. He was upset with me because I did something that he couldn't. This woman is a bit emotional and she told me they had sex while drunk. I thought she was dishonest, or at least gave me a half truth about it. I knew he always had feelings but he was a close friend of hers and used that to have sex with her.

She said she tried to do it to get over me at the time and we weren't 'together' and I never committed anything serious to her. Which is true, I didn't. I had my reservations as I mentioned.

I later reveal to her that in July I slept with someone ONCE. We were not talking at the time and this was another "off" time.
I knew her from the gym and I frankly did not know this woman was into me. I don't keep contact with her and really it was a lapse of judgement on my part which I regret. When she found out she bursted into tears and said I lied to her! The nerve! I didn't reveal it to her immediately because the past month everything was going great and in the right direction to the point of us being boyfriend and girlfriend. I didn't want to ruin it at the time.

She asked me what position, how did I know her, what her name was. She said that knowing that this woman was taller than her, makes more money, etc made her insecure. I really am not insecure with the guy she slept with, but it is an ego kill and it makes me trust her less. I also knows that he sleeps around a bit so of course you think.

I took the situation differently, but she obviously was devastated knowing this. What the hell?
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:08 AM
 
34 posts, read 46,165 times
Reputation: 25
Sound like you just need to leave her a lone. There is no trust in this relationship, neither of you have set any boundaries as far as friendships with the opposite sex. So what the male she messed around w/ gets around, he may view u or your chick the same way as u view him.

She's to dramatic, don't entertain foolishness!! Really, going over saying something to this other male, she playing both of u..
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Oh my God.

You cheated with her, yet somehow that didn't "bode well" with you.

You've "had reservations" and been "a bit irked..." by her behavior. Just take a stand already and break up!!!! Nobody can claim to have rules when you're "off and on." Stop trying to live in a gray area.

Look in the mirror, dude.
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:12 AM
 
3,051 posts, read 3,280,085 times
Reputation: 3959
Hmmm, let's see. You fight all the time, she seems like she has a mean streak and a hot temper, she uses double standards, you don't seem to get along with each other. Yeah, totally sounds like something worth saving.

And are you really trying to understand a person who clearly doesn't think logically? Both of you are a hot mess.

Just stop seeing her. Problem solved. Some of you make your lives way harder than they need to be.
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:13 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,576,256 times
Reputation: 53073
This seems like a really great relationship.
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:18 AM
 
Location: The Triad
34,090 posts, read 82,975,811 times
Reputation: 43666
Quote:
Originally Posted by beaste View Post
I took the situation differently, but she obviously was devastated knowing this. What the hell?

"We were on a break!" Medium - YouTube
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:27 AM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,374,578 times
Reputation: 43059
You're both a boatload of crazy. Seriously.
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Old 09-16-2014, 06:49 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,952,831 times
Reputation: 15256
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
You're both a boatload of crazy. Seriously.
Lol! Right!

I think she wanted him to come over so she could do the both of them.

My guess. Hard to tell.

Like a soap opera.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:06 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,290 posts, read 4,011,598 times
Reputation: 4313
Very interesting light switch relationship! Go off sleep around go on fight enough. What you both are thinking I mean. This is me if some one is done with me he is done for me. No getting back in. And what ever you guys did off times you both cannot accuses each other. Seems you both not fitting very well as a couple but as tom and Jerry may be well.
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Old 09-16-2014, 03:55 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,841,834 times
Reputation: 20030
OP, both of you need some serious counseling, today. after that you two need to go see other people and forget each other. please do not procreate with her, your children will be completely screwed up to the point where counseling wont help them.
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