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I know I have gotten on the wrong hand with some of you all. But please just hear me out. I am a 24 year old virgin. When it comes to women I don't know, I have the worst anxiety possible. I have been battling it all my life and there is no improvement no matter how much I try to conquer it. I can talk to men with relative ease and won't be nervous in the slightest. However, if a woman (especially an attractive one) joins in on the conversation I will get nervous to the point where I will sweat and nearly pass out. I also won't talk until she leaves the conversation. It is even hard to talk to my female friend Melissa (the hooters girl) without getting nervous. In the past month, I have approached 10 women and I was rejected all 10 times. Those were cold approaches (They don't work). Even then approaching those women didn't improve my anxiety and I'm still nervous arounf them. As of now, I can't approach women because my anxiety is at an all-time high. Can this keep me single forever? I've tried getting rid of it btw.
I'm going to be honest here - and I've said this before - I don't necessarily think cold approaches are the best way to a relationship. All the guys that I dated were people I worked with, went to school with, or met through friends. Take the pressure off yourself. Just relax and don't think about asking women out or dating. Just get to know people. If there is chemistry there - let it develop on it's own. If you have chemistry with someone, a lot of the time you won't have to ask her out - you'll just end up sort of asking each other out.
But BE NICE to these women - especially if you end up taking them out.
I'm going to be honest here - and I've said this before - I don't necessarily think cold approaches are the best way to a relationship. All the guys that I dated were people I worked with, went to school with, or met through friends. Take the pressure off yourself. Just relax and don't think about asking women out or dating. Just get to know people. If there is chemistry there - let it develop on it's own. If you have chemistry with someone, a lot of the time you won't have to ask her out - you'll just end up sort of asking each other out.
But BE NICE to these women - especially if you end up taking them out.
Not all of us have single women in our social circle esepcailly by a certain age.. im 33 going on 34 all my friends are near my age or in their 30's at least and all there female friends are married or in relationships as well
Not all of us have single women in our social circle esepcailly by a certain age.. im 33 going on 34 all my friends are near my age or in their 30's at least and all there female friends are married or in relationships as well
I was giving advice to the 24 year old OP.
Have you ever had a relationship? Do you have any female friends?
I used to have horrible anxiety with bosses when I was younger. When my boss came into the room, I started sweating, couldn't think straight and just blushed like an idiot. After he left, I had to open the window and my clothes were soaked in sweat. It took me many years to realize that these men - even though they are super smart - are just humans and they have faults, they use the bathroom, they make mistakes and they are no better than me. Well, maybe they are better than me, but they are just people.
Now I work with 100 guys and even though they like me, I still feel weird in the same room as a few of them and have their eyes on me.
Cold approaches are super tough if you are full of anxiety. It will show in your face and translate into desperation and girls smell that on you.
I would suggest that you try to just be around women in general. Women you are not really interested in, just to get the hang of it. Go to meetup.com events where women are. Hiking. Bicycling, bowling, whatever there is. You will learn to interact with women whom you are not attracted to and learn to relax a little.
Or keep going to hooters and practice on the hooters girls. They are easy to chitchat with.
I'm going to be honest here - and I've said this before - I don't necessarily think cold approaches are the best way to a relationship. All the guys that I dated were people I worked with, went to school with, or met through friends. Take the pressure off yourself. Just relax and don't think about asking women out or dating. Just get to know people. If there is chemistry there - let it develop on it's own. If you have chemistry with someone, a lot of the time you won't have to ask her out - you'll just end up sort of asking each other out.
But BE NICE to these women - especially if you end up taking them out.
I am doing that. I also apologized to the woman. I'm sure you know, if you remember.
I approach them, ask them their name, and ask can I get to know them. They say no each time.
Yeah - that's not a good approach.
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