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So my boyfriend (30) and I (26) have been in a relationship for more than two years and he will get relocated to another city for work and we're going to move together to this new city in three months. Two other colleagues (who are also good friends) of him are getting relocated to the same city, both of them have wives and one kid each.
Yesterday my boyfriend told me that he and his two colleagues have been talking and they're considering to all buy a house together in that new city. A huge house, which would mean that him and I would move in together with his two colleagues, their wives and their two kids (one is a newborn, the other one 2 years old). I got kinda shocked to be honest. I like his friends and their families, but I really don't want to live with them. I work from home (got my own company), the two wives are both housewives and would be home with their kids all day. I don't wanna hear babies (that are not mine) screaming at night or whatever. I don't want to see his friends every single day and share him with his friends every time he comes back from work. I want to live with him and only with him. He doesn't see to get my point that much, he says 'Why not, it's just gonna be for a couple of years and then we'll all have a holiday house we can use' and 'So you won't be so alone at home when I'll be working'. I just don't find this idea great at all, but don't wanna be the bummer who tells everyone it's not gonna work (apparently the wives of the colleagues are thrilled, don't ask me why). It would be a big house, but still.
What do you guys think about this? Would you move in with friends of your husband/boyfriend and their kids? What would you do in my shoes? How can I communicate this to my boyfriend without being a total bummer?
Thanks.
*** written by my friend***
You cannot communicate this to your boyfriend without being a total bummer so what you do is tell him in clear concise words that you will not move into and purchase a home with the other two families.
If he insists then you need to decide if you are going to move with him or stay where you are or you could move with him but have your own apartment/house.
There is no way I would move in a home with two other families, cripes, some days I can barely stand living with my husband. Why throw relative strangers into the mix?
Guess who will be the built-in babysitter if you do this?? And that is the LEAST of your worries.
Agree
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I can see that it's a cultural thing, and in many families, living with several generations is normal. But these others are coworkers, not family. He can get his socializing in other ways than living with people he works with. If he doesn't take your feelings seriously, and can't respect that you two need your own space and your own privacy, I would seriously reconsider relocating with him.
Agree
Years ago I did this communal living with 2 brothers and one of their girlfriends. Three of us worked from home:the fourth worked an early shift and was back home by 3:00pm. We were constantly in each other's way. Not in a bad sense, but just there. There was no escaping each other. We were all friends and it didn't end well. I can't imagine living with coworkers.
I don't think y'all can afford a house big enough for this to work.
I work from home and I have enough distractions with sole possession of the TV remote control and C-D, I don't need any more distractions and neither do you OP.
All you should need to tell your bf is its not a comfortable situation for you and it should be done. If he still doesn't "get it" I guees you know where his convictions lay
Not a good idea. I lived with friends back in college. Some of those friends I consider them brothers and it was not a good idea to live with them and they weren't even attach or have kids. I can't even imagine living with friends and their wife and kid....that's crazy! There were times, my friend's habits really tested my friendship with them and I am sure my habits tested my friendship with them as well. DON'T DO IT!
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, I don't need any more distractions and neither do you OP.
