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So my boyfriend (30) and I (26) have been in a relationship for more than two years and he will get relocated to another city for work and we're going to move together to this new city in three months. Two other colleagues (who are also good friends) of him are getting relocated to the same city, both of them have wives and one kid each.
Yesterday my boyfriend told me that he and his two colleagues have been talking and they're considering to all buy a house together in that new city. A huge house, which would mean that him and I would move in together with his two colleagues, their wives and their two kids (one is a newborn, the other one 2 years old). I got kinda shocked to be honest. I like his friends and their families, but I really don't want to live with them. I work from home (got my own company), the two wives are both housewives and would be home with their kids all day. I don't wanna hear babies (that are not mine) screaming at night or whatever. I don't want to see his friends every single day and share him with his friends every time he comes back from work. I want to live with him and only with him. He doesn't see to get my point that much, he says 'Why not, it's just gonna be for a couple of years and then we'll all have a holiday house we can use' and 'So you won't be so alone at home when I'll be working'. I just don't find this idea great at all, but don't wanna be the bummer who tells everyone it's not gonna work (apparently the wives of the colleagues are thrilled, don't ask me why). It would be a big house, but still.
What do you guys think about this? Would you move in with friends of your husband/boyfriend and their kids? What would you do in my shoes? How can I communicate this to my boyfriend without being a total bummer?
Guess who will be the built-in babysitter if you do this?? And that is the LEAST of your worries.
Say no. Put your foot down if you have to, but do not yoke yourself to these people by BUYING a house together. So many potential problems.
If you post this in the Real Estate forum, you will get a lot of common-sense financial advice about how you could ruin your credit (not to mention your relationship) by doing this.
Sounds like a disaster in the making to me. And if I were you? I'd tell him he could do this one on his own. I could understand moving in with friends for a month or so, but actually purchasing a home together? No way! Never!!!!
I might consider it, if the friends are trustworthy, financially sound, and if the one big house was broken up into separate living quarters... so a two family home with a separate mother-in-law apartment. I did live in a large house, there were no kids but three couple were all sharing. It did not end well, and I don't advise it for anyone.
Nah. I've shared a big old house with a bunch of friends, but we were renting it, not buying it. And we were 23-year old recent college graduates, not people with families/kids. The co-op living situation was a fun lifestyle choice for a couple of years after college. Not so much something I'd do deeply into adulthood.
And I wouldn't own property with anybody but a spouse, to be blunt.
imo financially speaking it doesn't even make sense. You're just taking advantage of the low cost of living involved with cramming a lot of people in one place. There is no reason to confuse it with any possible advantages to owning.
If you weren't willing to cram together before then you shouldn't now.
Sorry, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Life is not like an episode of Friends. And the last thing I'd want to do is buy a house with good friends, nevermind work colleagues. There isn't a house big enough in the world to house three separate families, and have adequate privacy, and no issues over the common shared areas. None of his reasons are valid, IMO and there's no way in hell I'd go along with it, no matter what everyone else thinks. The others like it, they're more than welcome to it.
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