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Wow, you sound like me a while ago. Completely losing myself within a relationship. It gets better when you begin to know yourself and what you really want. Then you recognize the signs along the way and resolve to be true to yourself. Never EVER forget that because it isn't just for you but for the person you're with. Not everyone is capable of loving on a deep level. He took you for granted but is also very selfish and superficial. Be glad you dodged this bullet. Move on and look for a man with depth and that can only be achieved by you being true to yourself and not accepting anything less.
I get why you are feeling how you are feeling. This is a man that you were happy with, that you were "madly in love with". He left you, now he wants you back. That validates something inside of you. And takes away some of the hurt bcs it acknowledges that you are worth wanting.
The human heart is as complicated as it is vulnerable. I appreciate everybody that is telling you to "move on" and everybody that is encouraging you to get over him. But I think we also know that heartbreak isn't something that doesn't magically goes away bcs we tell it to. You are still healing from a big hurt.
I commend you for your self control and for not giving in to wanting him back in your life. All you can do is get through this crappy feeling, one day at a time. Maybe sometimes, one minute at a time. And realize that every time you have contact with him or let him engage you in texts or conversation, the clock starts over on healing from the crappy feeling
I have been in your shoes. Best thing you can do is to cut off all contact with him to speed up the healing process. Someday you'll look back and wonder why you ever wasted your time with such a ******. Don't get caught up like I did.
Hang in there. I know it's tough, but with a good support system, you'll get through.
I get why you are feeling how you are feeling. This is a man that you were happy with, that you were "madly in love with". He left you, now he wants you back. That validates something inside of you. And takes away some of the hurt bcs it acknowledges that you are worth wanting.
The human heart is as complicated as it is vulnerable. I appreciate everybody that is telling you to "move on" and everybody that is encouraging you to get over him. But I think we also know that heartbreak isn't something that doesn't magically goes away bcs we tell it to. You are still healing from a big hurt.
I commend you for your self control and for not giving in to wanting him back in your life. All you can do is get through this crappy feeling, one day at a time. Maybe sometimes, one minute at a time. And realize that every time you have contact with him or let him engage you in texts or conversation, the clock starts over on healing from the crappy feeling
^ This is spot on, great post... OP- I will say, getting back your lost love will have its moments, but any man who broke your heart so coldly once will surely do it again.. Healed broken hearts only break in half & bleed endlessesly the 2nd time around. Believe me, though mine was not married, I thought reuniting was worth the risk, but the lesson I learned was not worth the pain of having to walk away from the "love of my life" - AGAIN.. It didn't bring closure, in fact, it destroyed me 100x worse and it's my own damn fault. Keep the upper hand while you have it; use that strength to resist falling into old habits with him.. Let his wife deal with his dumbass in the meantime. If you two are meant to be, tell him to look you up when the divorce is finalized.
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. How heart breaking. I know you love him and you miss him, but you have to ask yourself why? The great guy you dated for so many years was either an illusion or he has changed beyond recognition - either way he's gone. What kind of person would dump their girlfriend, marry someone else, then try to cheat on the wife with the girlfriend? He wants to have his cake and eat it too and if you let him back into your life he will just hurt you again down the line. He'll always want what he can't have.
Banish him from your life. I once had a friend come over and delete a guy's number for me so I couldn't contact him anymore. I couldn't seem to push the buttons myself. Block him, get a new number if you have to, block him on Facebook. You will never get over this if you keep in touch with him.
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