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Hello all, me and my ex broke up 2 months ago after 2 year relationship. We were both 17 and eachothers first love. She was Christian and I was not. That was the biggest issue of our relationship. Her parents on the other hand are very strict and old fashioned. There was always a kind of tension between my gf and her parents because I was a Non-christian.
1 month before the breakup, her dad asked me if I would baptize for them together with my gf (she wanted to baptize a long time). So I just said yes and kept that going for a week without thinking. After that her father wanted to make a 'deal' and said "We are going to baptize eh"? So he reached out his hand to me, and I made the biggest mistake of my life and gave the hand, so made the promise.... While giving the hand, I had such a bad gut feeling about the whole baptize thing.
So after a day of 2, I was at my gf's house again and saw her dad, I just said: "I dont know, but I have changed my thoughts about the baptizing thing.. I have a bad feeling about it." He immediately said "Get out" and I was kicked out of my gf's house by her dad..... He is a man of his word and was so angry at me.. a day after the incident I apologized on the phone and he understood me.
5 days later.. I again visited my gf at her house. When I was leaving, her dad came home and stood at the frontdoor and said: "You NEED to baptize, you have no choice. If you love her, you would do that. You are a red ant, and we (her family) are white ants, we want you to join. You need to adapt yourself to us, and I will not accept a no." I was shocked and drove home.
Now here it comes.. We had a vacation planned about a week after the "You need to be baptize thing" with my family, and 2 weeks later with me and HER family. So 2 vacations. I explained the situation to my mom and she was furious at my gf's dad. My mom only wanted my gf with us on vacation if I was accepted by her dad. So I said it to my gf and she asked her dad if I wil be accepted without baptizing. He said I wasnt worth it if I didnt so the answer is no..
We planned this trip for over 1 year and were so excited as a couple, it was our dream.. And it was just cancelled by my mom. She now blames me and my mom for all the pain she recieved when she didnt come with us. She thinks its my fault because I told my mom. I was just devistated by all the pain my gf's dad gave me and just NEEDED to say it to my mom, I now regret it.. Because then the trip maybe wasnt cancelled. The reason for her to break up was the fact that I told my mom the whole story (so the trip was cancelled) and that I broke the promise with her dad. I met her a week ago and begged for a second chance but she didnt gave me one. She is very stubborn. I still feel like I could do much better and still baptize for her (which was her dream). Would you give me a 2nd chance? Pfff. She said me to move on but this is the perfect girl for me.. I just f*cked up and want to make things right again but she wont let me and also doesnt contact me.. We had plans for a future together..
You don't need a future together. You're both immature.
Look, I'm a Christian, and I'm telling you that you don't need to be anywhere near her dad. His tactics are bizarre, and the way he put it to you is not healthy. What the hell is the red ant/white ant stuff? What grown man actually says that stuff? Not sure I believe all this but anyway ...
Just understand that his views on Christianity (at least the way you describe them) are warped, and you don't need to be around him. She undoubtedly will have emotional problems from being raised this way.
Time to move on. Stay broken up for your own good.
You need to be careful what promises you make to people. But please don't get baptized just because you want to make someone happy. It's not like getting a haircut. It's supposed to be a serious commitment, some say a sacrament, that you must make for the right reasons.
your 17?
when your 37 you wont even remember the gfs fathers name... move on..
Your too young to be that attached to a girl.. JMO.
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