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One of my best friends struck up a friendship with a guy online. They were in almost constant contact over the course of about 18 months. (He was someone she used to know a long time ago) Things would drop off every now and then, but would always pick back up again. Mostly platonic, but definitely mutual appreciation that blurred into flirtation. They finally arranged to meet in person (they had never skyped, but had exchanged pictures.) Well, she said things were weird. The level of comfort was definitely not what they had built up, etc etc. I tried to explain to her that meeting in person is a totally different thing. Maybe he was feeling as self conscious as she was. And that was why there was a weird vibe. Oh, I should probably mention that they are both in relationships, but I think she wanted to see where things would go.
He's not some dreamboat, but she had come to be very attached to him. Except from their meeting she sensed that maybe he wasn't that into her. Or was having second thoughts. They went their separate ways. But once they were both back home he starts texting all sorts of nice things again. For a week or so. This was a couple of months ago. She's not in as frequent touch with him anymore, and is kind of sad about it. But she figured 1) He decided to try to make things work with his girlfriend and 2) He just didn't find her attractive enough to push things along…
I postulated that he is long distance, and maybe the logistics are just too much. (But she doesn't understand why they can't continue to be constant pen pals)
So she's feeling emotionally rejected as well as physically rejected. Although they are still in touch. She's trying to let go, but we all know how hard that can be. I've tried to tell her that the idea of him is better than HE actually is. But she's not really ready to go no contact. Especially since it's not like they were ever "really" romantic. So it seems like overkill, to cut him off just bcs SHE was falling for him. And it's not reciprocated.
Anyway…she told me that they had been texting the other night. He tells her that "so and so" keeps saying wonderful things about her (they had met up in a group of people and it was one of the girls in his group) and one of the things he mentioned was that "so and so" said she (my friend) was good looking.
She was caught off guard so she didn't dig. But she was asking me if I thought that was his round about way of telling her HE thought she was good looking (bcs the physical rejection is I think what is driving her crazy and what is hurtful, esp since she had looked past all of his "shortcomings" bcs she really likes him).
I have no idea. I'm not used to these cat and mouse conversations. What do you think?
Advise her to sort out the relationship she is already in before she moves on to other men. Apart from that there's nothing else to say to her really. This other guy is a cheater and so is your girlfriend.
IN her defense she didn't really do anything wrong, except like him too much. She didn't make a move on him.
Pfffft. what do you expect from 'pen pal relationship'.... yap nothing like smoke like puff. That's why I insist on meeting right away.
It can really be weird because you have an 'expectation' of this other person which is basically your 'imagination' and when you finally see them in person and be real disappointed they're fugly or not as 'talkative'. Say different things in person, it's basically fubar.
What's more weird on this story is... they're both in relationship and now your 'friend' is 'sad' and felt rejected... . Realllly? What about HER BF?
Not really acceptable behavior for people in committed relationships with other people... if the guy seemed awkward, maybe that's why.
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. Realllly? What about HER BF? 
