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I don't want to talk to you for 4 weeks before we meet. Lets talk for a few days and set up a date. Doesn't have to be super nice, a beer or coffee is good for a first meeting.
I don't want to talk to you for 4 weeks before we meet. Lets talk for a few days and set up a date. Doesn't have to be super nice, a beer or coffee is good for a first meeting.
You know, I sometimes wonder if this is a contributing reason I had a rough time online dating. I've mentioned before, I am not interested in a man until I know him well enough to know I am attracted. When I did online dating, I wanted to meet as soon as possible (hated the whole calling, texting, dragging it out thing).
But when I met the men, I really wasn't interested in them romantically because I didn't get to know them yet. I was interested in their potential to be a romantic interest, but I wasn't "into them yet." How could I be into a stranger? In the meantime, they seemed overly eager to me and it made me uncomfortable (stuff like the guys who making plans for our future on the first "meet and greet" date... just too much too soon for me). I think the terminology people use for that situation is "scared me off" lol.
I know the article says to meet right away, but I think maybe meeting too soon can work against you too. There's got to be a balance of before hand communication and not waiting for a month to meet. I just never found it.
You know, I sometimes wonder if this is a contributing reason I had a rough time online dating. I've mentioned before, I am not interested in a man until I know him well enough to know I am attracted. When I did online dating, I wanted to meet as soon as possible (hated the whole calling, texting, dragging it out thing).
But when I met the men, I really wasn't interested in them romantically because I didn't get to know them yet. I was interested in their potential to be a romantic interest, but I wasn't "into them yet." How could I be into a stranger? In the meantime, they seemed overly eager to me and it made me uncomfortable (stuff like the guys who making plans for our future on the first "meet and greet" date... just too much too soon for me). I think the terminology people use for that situation is "scared me off" lol.
I know the article says to meet right away, but I think maybe meeting too soon can work against you too. There's got to be a balance of before hand communication and not waiting for a month to meet. I just never found it.
My issue has been the opposite. Talking to someone online I get a feeling that I really like this person, we talk on the phone, everything clicks, then we meet and there is no chemistry physically. Now you've devoted a significant amount of time to meet and get to know this person in a romantic way, and then you just want to be friends. Many times, the women I've meet like this, don't understand my sudden pull back. If I say that I just feel like I am looking for someone else, then they get very upset by that. You like me personally right? Well yes. Telling someone "I don't find you attractive in person" is not exactly something most people, women especially, want to hear.
Of course, this falls back to some of my other OLD nightmares where women post 5 year old pictures then suddenly swallowed a beach ball before our meeting. There was no double, triple chin in your profile pictures.
So I have taken the mantra of meeting early. Talk for a few days, then set up a date. What the hell, you're going to talk about the same things in person you would have talked about on the phone anyway. IF you talk to much on the phone, then when you get together, what do you have to talk about?
So I have taken the mantra of meeting early. Talk for a few days, then set up a date. What the hell, you're going to talk about the same things in person you would have talked about on the phone anyway. IF you talk to much on the phone, then when you get together, what do you have to talk about?
That's a good point, especially with a first date. Eventually, as you get to know someone, more topics come up. However, it's good to have something solid to start with.
So I have taken the mantra of meeting early. Talk for a few days, then set up a date. What the hell, you're going to talk about the same things in person you would have talked about on the phone anyway. IF you talk to much on the phone, then when you get together, what do you have to talk about?
This was always my philosophy too when I did OLD. It's exactly what I thought and to me it makes perfect sense. But my problem was (I think) that guys were taking my eagerness to meet in person as an eagerness to jump two feet first into a relationship (or into something else) with them when all I wanted to do was talk in person and get to know them to see if there was any connection. Then I felt rushed and smothered. So in that regard, it always backfired on me for some reason.
This was always my philosophy too when I did OLD. It's exactly what I thought and to me it makes perfect sense. But my problem was (I think) that guys were taking my eagerness to meet in person as an eagerness to jump two feet first into a relationship (or into something else) with them when all I wanted to do was talk in person and get to know them to see if there was any connection. Then I felt rushed and smothered. So in that regard, it always backfired on me for some reason.
Maybe you were just meeting the wrong guys? Maybe their idea of a relationship was a quicky?
Idk, from my understanding most OLD is about hooking up, not necessarily about starting a relationship. I've meet women who I have dated online, for a few months. I have meet women who we had one nice date, but that was it. I've meet others who jumped right in the bed and then they just got clingy. All kinds out there.
I look at all dating as just having fun, just having a good time with another adult. If that leads to intimacy, great, if it leads to finding someone who I like being around, even better.
You know, I sometimes wonder if this is a contributing reason I had a rough time online dating. I've mentioned before, I am not interested in a man until I know him well enough to know I am attracted. When I did online dating, I wanted to meet as soon as possible (hated the whole calling, texting, dragging it out thing).
But when I met the men, I really wasn't interested in them romantically because I didn't get to know them yet. I was interested in their potential to be a romantic interest, but I wasn't "into them yet." How could I be into a stranger? In the meantime, they seemed overly eager to me and it made me uncomfortable (stuff like the guys who making plans for our future on the first "meet and greet" date... just too much too soon for me). I think the terminology people use for that situation is "scared me off" lol.
I know the article says to meet right away, but I think maybe meeting too soon can work against you too. There's got to be a balance of before hand communication and not waiting for a month to meet. I just never found it.
I once booked a weekend away with someone I talked to twice, yeah, that was a treat
she smoked like a chimney and told me she wasn't feeling well - I think her exact words were bloody cramps..(what guy doesn't like to hear that?)
she was a pretty lady, but I was wayyyy too optimistic going away for the weekend right off..
oh yeah,,,she tooted all night- quite the symphony that girl was...
glad we were in separate beds
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