Women are outpacing men in the educational/career world. How does this affect the dating world? (younger, romantic)
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I am starting to think, based on the answers, that women being successful is a problem in dating. But the problem seems to lie mostly in the minds of men who have self esteem issues with it. They let their own perceived notions of they have to be "more successful" than the woman in the workforce or education get in the way. The ones who think this way seem to take an attitude of "give up before you try because you might fail."
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by jillabean
I am starting to think, based on the answers, that women being successful is a problem in dating. But the problem seems to lie mostly in the minds of men who have self esteem issues with it. They let their own perceived notions of they have to be "more successful" than the woman in the workforce or education get in the way. The ones who think this way seem to take an attitude of "give up before you try because you might fail."
I think you're right. As I mentioned before, even though we have similar educational levels and professional jobs, almost every woman I've dated over the past 10 years earns 50% more than I do, at a minimum. Many of them told me they dated other guys that had big issues with it. I don't get it. Who cares?
Men seem to be their own worst enemy from what I hear about.
I am starting to think, based on the answers, that women being successful is a problem in dating. But the problem seems to lie mostly in the minds of men who have self esteem issues with it. They let their own perceived notions of they have to be "more successful" than the woman in the workforce or education get in the way. The ones who think this way seem to take an attitude of "give up before you try because you might fail."
I don't care if a woman makes more than me. That indicates to me that she's independent and isn't looking for a man to take complete care of her. It's an attractive quality to me. It's also nice to think that we'd be well off financially with our combined incomes.
One of my buddies called me yesterday and we talked a little about this topic coincidentally. His theory (I don't necessarily subscribe to it; just reciting here) is that the successful women have a mindset that they don't need a man in their lives because they're taking care of themselves. He speculates that this is the attitude of some women, which in turn, makes it difficult for the men who pursue them to have the opportunity to be with them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by Lafleur
One of my buddies called me yesterday and we talked a little about this topic coincidentally. His theory (I don't necessarily subscribe to it; just reciting here) is that the successful women have a mindset that they don't need a man in their lives because they're taking care of themselves. He speculates that this is the attitude of some women, which in turn, makes it difficult for the men who pursue them to have the opportunity to be with them.
I think there is truth to this, and it is what improves dating in this day and age. If a woman has chosen to date you it is because they want to be with YOU. They don't want your money, they don't need it, they don't need any man... but they WANT to be with you. It is very comforting. That should greatly reduce self doubt. I have no idea why it doesn't with some guys.
Well, if you're like me and you're in a slump, I guess I could see why some guys would be upset. Because according to what you're saying, the women just don't want to be with you...period. Kinda hard to boost your self esteem when that's the case. It's a catch-22. You need self esteem and a positive aura to attract most women, but when most women reject you, your self-esteem declines and your aura becomes negative.
It's a difficult thing to fight through, particularly when you've put a significant amount of effort to make your life right and "attractive" to others. And I see these threads from posters venting about their SOs who are stoners and losers.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by Lafleur
Well, if you're like me and you're in a slump, I guess I could see why some guys would be upset. Because according to what you're saying, the women just don't want to be with you...period. Kinda hard to boost your self esteem when that's the case. It's a catch-22. You need self esteem and a positive aura to attract most women, but when most women reject you, your self-esteem declines and your aura becomes negative.
It's a difficult thing to fight through.
Sure, that is why finding self esteem based on things that have nothing to do with relationships with other people is very important. Its imperative to get to a place where your self esteem doesn't rise and fall based on others actions or inactions.
Yes, that is a lot easier said than done, and sure, I struggle with it to, but it is important.
I think there is truth to this, and it is what improves dating in this day and age. If a woman has chosen to date you it is because they want to be with YOU. They don't want your money, they don't need it, they don't need any man... but they WANT to be with you. It is very comforting. That should greatly reduce self doubt. I have no idea why it doesn't with some guys.
This is true. In our society today men and women really don't NEED each other as they did in the past.
Just as women don't need a man for financial support, men don't need a woman to keep the home front or rear their children, but it sure can be nice having someone to share these responsibilities with.
Sure, that is why finding self esteem based on things that have nothing to do with relationships with other people is very important. Its imperative to get to a place where your self esteem doesn't rise and fall based on others actions or inactions.
Yes, that is a lot easier said than done, and sure, I struggle with it to, but it is important.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by Lafleur
Yeah, it is easier said than done since much of our livelihoods and happiness rely on the actions of others (sex, love, jobs, friendship, etc.).
Livelihoods I agree with, but happiness I do not agree with, but that's another thread.
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