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I think the OP means that if you marry a woman with children from a previous marriage/relationship. I'm not sure about the "sexy in a different way" thing, but you do become a step-grandpa. I became one when I was married; the kids still love me and still call me Pop-Pop.
"Grandma" these days doesn't mean what it did when I was growing up. Now there are some nice looking older ladies out there and they take decent care of themselves.
I doesn't have to mean some hunched over shawl wearing granny with white hair and glasses. I mean those exist too, but not exclusively.
You still have responsibilities to pleasure each other sexually even if you are out of the reproductive years.
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