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After splitting with my partner of 16 yrs approximatly, around 18 mths ago, she has now decided to move to the other side of the country, we have 2 children girl age 13 boy age 10 and she plans to take my children with her, my daughter is adamant that she wants to stay with me and under no circumstances want to leave the area she now lives, we did move to the place in question several years ago and hated every minute of it my son was not much happier, I'm currently unemployed Her mother is a teaching assistant, her plans are to move in to a property which her parents are going to provide for her, her parents are extremely rich and own several hotels pubs and other properties, I can't compete with them financially but my daughter is currently living with me in rented but secure accommodation I take and collect her from school every day always clean and tidy and on time, my son says he doesn't want to go but at that age he is very influential and they can spoil him or get him anything he likes where I cant, he often after visiting comes home with new clothes toys and games and seems to be wavering towards going with his mother, his mother has a new partner of approximately 6 months who works in another part of the country. In my opinion I don't think it appropriate that she can be able to take my son who I have brought up for 10 yrs to live with her new partner who she only sees on weekends and holidays, does my daughter have any say in where she stays at 13 or will she automatically be given custardy of her mother. When the move goes ahead I will find it extremely hard to see them as its a 180 mile trip and her parents own the only hotel in the area so there would be no way I could go and spend weekends with them infact I would find it extremely hard just to afford the travel arrangements if I loose my children I have nothing else to live for I have secure accommodation but not the bank ballance of her family. Basically can anyone tell me for definite does my daughter have a say in which parent she wishes to stay with or will the courts automatically grant her full custody because if this happens I'll never get to see my children and stand to loose my home as it would be classed as to large for me to live alone so I stand to loose everything I have built up while living at the property DOES MY DAUGHTER HAVE ANY SAY IN WHICH PARENT SHE LIVES WITH AT THE AGE OF 13 if anyone knows for sure just what my rights are pls mail or post reply thanks in advance Vincent.
Generally these days the courts consider what's best for the child, and they consult the child. And it's not all about money, it's about the quality of the bond, how stable a home the parent can provide, and that sort of thing. Do you drink or smoke? Are you able to support whatever extracurricular activities your daughter participates in or would like to do? (Your ex should be contributing to this.) Is she getting good grades, is there a good study environment in the home? Are you a good role model?
If she's currently living with you, why would she move, anyway? If you have full custody, why would that change? Is your ex preparing to go to court to get the custody arrangement changed? The court may prefer to keep the child where she's accustomed to living, especially if that's what the child wants, rather than causing disruption, taking the child away from her friends, school, etc. You can always try the argument that kids are vulnerable in these early teen years, and need stability at home and with their peer group/school.
If you can't afford a lawyer, look for a free law clinic staffed by volunteer lawyers or advanced law students. Don't panic. It's not always money that talks. Sometimes, love talks. You already passed muster with the courts once, obviously. So you can do it again.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-13-2014 at 07:11 PM..
Where do you live? In my state a parent cannot move out of state with the children unless agreed to by other parent and the permission of the court.
That is usually spelled out in the details of divorce, right? If they were never married, they never divorced, and he might not even be listed as father on the children's birth certificates. Who knows?
Questions for the OP: I'm wondering how you are supporting your children if you're unemployed, and why would you "lose your house" if your daughter moves out?
It kind of sounds like you have your daughter living with you so that you can receive public assistance and housing, and you don't want her to be with her mother (despite her better ability to provide) because you will lose public assistance.
That is usually spelled out in the details of divorce, right? If they were never married, they never divorced, and he might not even be listed as father on the children's birth certificates. Who knows?
Questions for the OP: I'm wondering how you are supporting your children if you're unemployed, and why would you "lose your house" if your daughter moves out?
It kind of sounds like you have your daughter living with you so that you can receive public assistance and housing, and you don't want her to be with her mother (despite her better ability to provide) because you will lose public assistance.
Could be that he gets child support and alimony from his ex. If she takes their daughter with her, he'd lose much of that support.
He said the daughter wants to stay with him. It doesn't sound like he's using her.
Could be that he gets child support and alimony from his ex. If she takes their daughter with her, he'd lose much of that support.
He said the daughter wants to stay with him. It doesn't sound like he's using her.
But if there was no marriage, there would be no divorce (and hence, no child support and/or alimony) unless one partner sued the other party for it. Maybe I'm wrong about that. Either way, he needs to seek legal advise.
But if there was no marriage, there would be no divorce (and hence, no child support and/or alimony) unless one partner sued the other party for it. Maybe I'm wrong about that. Either way, he needs to seek legal advise.
2 different issues.
Divorce is a division of asset issue.
CS is just child support.
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You already passed muster with the courts once, obviously. So you can do it again.
