Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
At the beginning it was easy.. We would hang out all the time, then slowly she became busier and more focused on her own **** and now it is every here and there...
I feel like she just doesn't have a second for me any more but we still manage to get together and act like we never left each others side!!
My point is I cannot keep doing this unless it is consistent and I don't know what the hell she wants at this point.
So she is not using you... she's been upfront and told you what she is looking for, or more specifically, what she is not looking for?
It sounds like your main problem is you.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
You need to learn to be more concerned about yourself and what you're doing.
You show signs of codependency.
Quit letting other people dictate how you feel. No one should control your emotions but you. I learned a long time ago, people are gonna do what they want to do. Regardless. Your life and your feelings cannot revolve around people. It's not wise. I'm not saying be a total jerk but learn to be tough and not give a crap if some does or doesn't want to be with you.
Learning that lesson was the best thing ever for me.
Being a doormat or a puppy anxiously awaiting for her to come around and want to date seriously. I cannot keep casually talking and casually hooking up/dating every NOW AND THEN.
I don't want to get too specific but she just got out of a very serious relationship and off the get go told me she is not looking for a relationship.
After that point we continued talking, flirting, and acting like a couple whenever we hang out... We've even hooked up a few times.
Originally I told her I wanted to keep talking and all of this stuff despite her not looking for anything serious because its not every day that I meet someone like her.
We kept talking and doing all of this crazy stuff I mentioned above but it hasn't gone anywhere serious mostly because I am playing it cool...
Well now I am a hot mess...
I think I will reveal the following to her:
1. My intensions
2. What I am willing to do from this point forward with this
3. How she feels about this at this current point in time after we've been talking for a bit
I think she's already made it clear she's not looking for a relationship. If you guys happen to become exclusive later on, so be it.
At this time, she's not open to one. The more you make yourself available, the more you're also setting up the boundaries for confusion for yourself.. Right now, you need to focus on what you want to do and let it be. Don't delete her number just yet. Switch your priorities around a bit. If she's into you, and if you continue to be chill about it, she may reconsider. It's when guys get all pushy and demand a woman's time 24/7 (especially in the beginning) that makes him look super fishy like his anxiety is questionable (why is everything so rushed?). Take it easy. Do your thing. Once you're settled and grounded within yourself she might have an "A-ha!" moment and realize "I think I might like him!!" Relax and go with the flow.. Stay calm. Get yourself together, and expect the least (people who tend to tend to be very surprised).
The bigger Q and A is how do you get more respect from people in general. Refer back to earlier? post where it basically states that when anyone tramples your boundaries you let them know and if it doesn't stop you stop spending time with them. They will generally respect you more IMO.
This is something you really should say to her in person. That way you get an instant reaction and you can see it on her face. Being on the phone and texting gives you too much room to disregard feelings. Texting also says to her that youre afraid to confront her and she can just minimize the whole thing.
Sounds like she already told you how she sees it....
Im sorry, it really stinks. Ive been there.
All you can do is express your feelings to her and say you think its a bad idea for us to keep hanging out if we arent going to go to the next level. Women can be confusing...in other words, sometimes they want you to take the lead on things. That way if you lay it out there, youve done all you could. If you dont tell her, eventually shes going to assume you werent interested and seek the first guy that makes a move on her.
It took me a while to find out exactly what was going in here. Essentially she told you she doesn't want a relationship but she's happy to hang out and hook up with you. So basically you have a friend with benefits relationship. If you are finding yourself getting more attached to her emotionally then you need to find out and say it. If she maintains her stance that she doesn't want anything serious then did your own mental sanity, you need to not see or contact her anymore. So ask her to meet with you and be honest with her. It probably won't be easy but it's better than you carrying a flame for her unreciprocated.
Communication is def key and most people respect you when you are assertive and communicate like an adult . A real woman wouldn't think you're being needy . It's a good thing!! You're allowing this cat n mouse game to happen because you're not speaking up for yourself . Tell her how you feel and then you will get an answer. Sounds like you're letting this girl have so much control on your emotions . Take control ..it's your life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
