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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I have heard IRL, and in many times on this forum, that guys/girls need a wingman or wingwoman to have success meeting people when going out.
How does this work? I go out, a good chunk of the time alone, a good chunk with friends, but never to try to meet women, just to have fun. If I were single again, how would this work if I did go out to meet women?
I just don't understand what the dynamic is supposed to be or how this works.
I think it just gives the person the confidence to approach someone. Would you feel more comfortable approaching someone by yourself or with your good friend there?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetjess1951
I think it just gives the person the confidence to approach someone. Would you feel more comfortable approaching someone by yourself or with your good friend there?
Well with me if my good friend is there I'm probably focused on having a conversation with them and not really looking to talk to other people much. That's why we went out, to catch up and hang out.
But I really don't get the approach thing either. I've never really "approached" anyone. I just talk to people that are there.
The only time I did this was when I used to do this with an ex, to find a third playmate. I would never have a friend come to a bar to be a wingman...that's just more competition...I prefer to fly solo on those missions...lol
I notice they seem to have more confidence if a friend(s) are with them. Honestly, when they did that it made me feel trapped and very uncomfortable. It's not really a wise method if you ask me. It just puts unwanted pressure on the female.
I have heard IRL, and in many times on this forum, that guys/girls need a wingman or wingwoman to have success meeting people when going out.
How does this work? I go out, a good chunk of the time alone, a good chunk with friends, but never to try to meet women, just to have fun. If I were single again, how would this work if I did go out to meet women?
I just don't understand what the dynamic is supposed to be or how this works.
Basically, it can happen in two ways:
1) A friend (preferably a woman or gay guy) will approach women on your behalf and introduce you. This is a good method if the girl is alone, as she will more than likely feel more comfortable being approached by another woman (in a non-sexual manner of course), then your average guy. They usually will talk you up and almost 'sell' them on you. Sometimes the wingperson knows the person/people they're approaching, sometimes they don't, but regardless, the wingperson is a person of high self-esteem, confidence, appeal and charisma.
I have a friend of mine (straight guy) who, without even me knowing, will approach a woman and talk me up. Next thing I know, he's introducing us. He does it because he's a good dude and he has a girlfriend, so it's super easy for him to approach women on behalf of his single friends. He's hooked up my roommate a time or two, haha.
2) The other way (usually a straight guy friend) is someone who keeps a friend occupied while you talk to her friend so you can get her number and what not. This is better used when there are at least two or more girls in a group setting. Chances are, he's not interested in her sexually, but talking to her just for conversation and so you can close the deal and get her number. You may have heard the terms, "Taking one for the team" and "jumping on the grenade". He can even go so far as to dance with the other friend or get her number, anything he can do to keep away the distractions (her friends) so you can have one-on-one time to talk to her.
Their purpose is for you to get the gal - whether that's talking you up before or during the approach or "occupying" her friend, allowing you to engage in conversation with her without disruption from the friend.
1) A friend (preferably a woman or gay guy) will approach women on your behalf and introduce you. They usually will talk you up and almost 'sell' them on you. Sometimes the wingperson knows the person/people they're approaching, sometimes they don't, but regardless, the wingperson is a person of high self-esteem, confidence, appeal and charisma.
/QUOTE]
This one.
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I have heard IRL, and in many times on this forum, that guys/girls need a wingman or wingwoman to have success meeting people when going out.
How does this work? I go out, a good chunk of the time alone, a good chunk with friends, but never to try to meet women, just to have fun. If I were single again, how would this work if I did go out to meet women?
I just don't understand what the dynamic is supposed to be or how this works.
They fill a few roles. The most common one I see is that having a wingman allows you to approach a group of women (which is really helpful because you rarely see women by themselves in places like bars, etc.). If it were just you, then you have all her friends there analyzing you, and that's never good. Best case scenario, they like you as well and there's infighting. Worst case, they hate you, and you're getting NOWHERE after that.
After that, it's the more cliche stuff...entertaining the friends of the woman you're pursuing, making you look good, etc.
Thanks, ATG5. Good explanation. It sounds sketchy, bordering unethical, but it makes sense on its face.
Haha, yeah it definitely can be.
Sometimes, the wingperson can have good intentions, just wanting his/her buddy to meet a nice girl, like my friend in my first post. This can be huge for a good guy who's just really shy, at least on the surface.
And then sometimes, yeah, it's all about getting laid and her friend is just a pawn in the game, since the wingman has no interest in that friend, whatsoever. He's just there so his buddy can close the deal.
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