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I would generally view the thread topic as a decision for a stay at home spouse made between a couple in a healthy and functioning relationship, and not a case of one spouse attempting to exert control over the other through financial superiority. Thats a separate thread/discussion.
The people I know and threads I have seen, I'd say 80% or better the woman wanted to stay home.
I'd rather have twi incomes. Taking care of the home is not hard whatsoever
Gravy from scratch is a feat? What else what I do to get gravy?
Cooking from scratch meals and mowing a lawn, raking leaves, cleaning bikes etc isn't much work. One can work 50-60 hrs a week and do those things (along with getting in an hour of exercise a day) really easily.
See my post above about different energy and health levels Exactly what I had written about, the super-achievers came running in.
Some can. Others can't. Some try really hard until they simply get burned out - and then we wonder why so many people are on anti-depressants, have high-sky stress levels which create chronic health issues. Especially for women, this pressure to be super-woman and do it all is just completely ridiculous, and perpetuated by statements like these - you HAVE to be able to do x, y and z with no problem and have a smile on your face doing it, otherwise you're lazy Yes there are high-energy folks out there who ENJOY a lifestyle in which they're running around all day like hamsters in wheels, those are also the people who can't handle not being occupied every second of the day. Others, believe it or not, actually need some time to breathe, and relax after work instead of running around scrubbing kitchens and raking leaves; some people can't function on less than 7-8 hours of sleep a night. For me personally, a routine where I had every second of the day scheduled and written out and occupied stressed me out to no end; I NEED that downtime and to be able to take a breather and do things at my own pace. I can't handle a go-go-go lifestyle. People are different. I wish others would actually accept that instead of assuming that everyone is exactly like them
Gravy from scratch is a feat? What else what I do to get gravy?
Cooking from scratch meals and mowing a lawn, raking leaves, cleaning bikes etc isn't much work. One can work 50-60 hrs a week and do those things (along with getting in an hour of exercise a day) really easily.
I would love to be the kind of person that could work 50-60 hours a week, spend a couple hours a day in the kitchen, work out for an hour, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, do the laundry, wash the dishes, etc. easily! That would be awesome!
Gravy from scratch is a feat? What else what I do to get gravy?
Cooking from scratch meals and mowing a lawn, raking leaves, cleaning bikes etc isn't much work. One can work 50-60 hrs a week and do those things (along with getting in an hour of exercise a day) really easily.
I call BS.
Do you work 50 hrs. a week, stop at the market each day, cook a meal from scratch, clean up the mess, go out and mow the yard, do other chores and go to the gym for an hour each day and still have time for anything else, really easily.
I would love to be the kind of person that could work 50-60 hours a week, spend a couple hours a day in the kitchen, work out for an hour, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, do the laundry, wash the dishes, etc. easily! That would be awesome!
What is difficult about that (I'm including commute with the 50-60)? It isn't unusual. They do that routinely to free up the weekend for play.
And you don't have to spend a couple of hours in the kitchen to prepare healthy from scratch dinners. Tonight its paella. Stop by the fish market on the way home (picked up the sausage last night) and it will be whipped up and cleaned up in less than a couple of hours. Gym was this morning before work. Heck, I do things from scratch (including my yogurt) and most of my friends live a similar life and have time for skiing, kayaking, reading, etc on the weekends.
The best thing for living like this is making sure one doesn't have a TV in the house. They're a total waste.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
I call BS.
Do you work 50 hrs. a week, stop at the market each day, cook a meal from scratch, clean up the mess, go out and mow the yard, do other chores and go to the gym for an hour each day and still have time for anything else, really easily.
I would only need to stop at the market each day (anyone does) if they are cooking with something super perishable, as I am tonight. Otherwise once a week and a stop by the farmers market maybe one other time and that is plenty. Sometimes I do more, as I don't always plan what I'm going to each, but a market stop is 10 minutes at most.
Maybe it is a planning issue for you. Or a focus or efficiency issue.
What is difficult about that (I'm including commute with the 50-60)? It isn't unusual. They do that routinely to free up the weekend for play.
And you don't have to spend a couple of hours in the kitchen to prepare healthy from scratch dinners. Tonight its paella. Stop by the fish market on the way home (picked up the sausage last night) and it will be whipped up and cleaned up in less than a couple of hours. Gym was this morning before work. Heck, I do things from scratch (including my yogurt) and most of my friends live a similar life and have time for skiing, kayaking, reading, etc on the weekends.
The best thing for living like this is making sure one doesn't have a TV in the house. They're a total waste.
I think it's great that you are able to do everything so easily! I'm just not like that. It takes me longer to do everything that it takes you a short amount of time to do. But I don't work full time - I take care of our little ones full time and teach here and there. I'm always exhausted. But good for you!
I stay at home and i always planned to be. MAYBE it would be different if i didnt have kids but i actually kind of doubt it.
There are some days we do just sit around and watch tv but thats because everything is done. No chores, homeschool work, errands, etc. Then other days I feel like i never sit down!
I think there should be more SAHMoms! Maybe more kids would behave better if they had a mom involved! PLUS theyd see the value/moral in having a dad working his tail off and a mom who takes care of the kids/home!
We teach our daughters that they will be stay at home moms and we teach our son that he has to work to take care of his wife and children. Maybe its " old" thinking that is long forgotten but it works for US.
That's right. The amount of domestic work an average man does at home is pretty
much equal to the amount of work a woman puts into dating, romancing,
initiative, and so on.
So what? If I had a stay at home husband I think he would not want me dating and romancing.
Quote:
Laundry, vacuuming, moping, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the oven and
refrigerator, etc. is not something that needs to be done every single day.
Probably the only thing that needs to be done every single day is the bed,
cooking, dishes, and a few other things that won't leave anybody gasping for
breath after taking care of them. And some of those every-day-chores don't even
take more than 5 minutes to do really.
I am surprised many in this thread have finally agreed that staying at home
without kids is not that big of a deal.[/
You don't know anymore about other peoples housekeeping or how long it takes them or what they do. I know what it takes to keep my place clean and running and that is why its usually a disaster area. You are more than welcome to come stay at my house and give it a shot.
I don't think anyone is saying being a SAH is a big deal. The idea is that working is less of a big deal to some of us that have done both. The preference would be to go to work, come home and not do any of that stuff.
I think the problem with having a woman stay at home, is that she becomes really dependent on the male.
This is a VERY important point about anybody of any gender who chooses to be significantly dependent upon a partner (or other entity, for that matter), financially or otherwise. There is an inherent risk in contributing to a situation where you find yourself decreasingly able to function on your own if need be.
That said, "non-working" doesn't mean "unable to work." It is true, though, that longer one is removed, whether by directly by choice, or indirectly by circumstance, from the workforce, the greater the obstacles are to re-entering as seamlessly as possible should the desire or situation arise.
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Exactly what I had written about, the super-achievers came running in. 
