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My boyfriend moved to my country in September to begin a university degree, unfortunately he had to drop out of university in the first week as we made the mistake of renting a room without a window which was unhabitable... We had to move to live with my parents in their house in the countryside (we stayed there for a few months - watching TV or taking the dog on a walk was literally all that we did day after day as there was nothing else - we searched for some jobs to no avail) my boyfriend became demoralised (we both did) and he became critical too (Always comparing everything to his perfect family home back in Sofia, Bulgaria in which let me mention he was incredibly spoilt) - he started demanding that I made a desicion as to what we were doing next in our lives and that he wanted to move out of my parents home. I knew we had to too, because we had no quality of life living there and we weren't achieving anything, but I had no idea where or what we were supposed to do next...
So I decided we would look for somewhere to live in a city close to my parents (once we found somewhere, we would rely on my savings until we found jobs) - we had dreadful luck trying to find somewhere to live and my boyfriend got incredibly frustrated as if the whole world was against him and he started getting this massive grudge towards the city until he decided he didn't want to look anymore...
So we were back to square one and I had to again decide what we were doing next to get out of my parents home yet again. We are now living in London and renting a room. (We still do not have jobs - but I can say living in London is good for a young couple like us) we moved here in December - the first room we rented wasn't perfect but liveable but my boyfriend has such high standards and he began moaning and criticising where we were living becoming really negative and nasty and personal towards the people we were renting it off of - becoming angry when they asked us for rent which to me is just a normal thing.. So we moved out of there and into another room as we are relying on my savings we cannot choose to be picky or fussy and have to take what is cheapest. This room is again fine, but last night the internet stopped working a couple of times and my boyfriend became mad and began complaining about how bad this room is too.. He got into a massive sulky strop and said that he just wanted to get a flight back to bulgaria until our contract with this room is up. I had no idea what to say to any of this... We've just moved in and have to put up with a room that isn't perfect to be living here in the city.
Everyday it's just the same - him with his back to me, browsing his computer and I just feel so alone and unsupported and I'm so tired of life. Most days he wants to finish with an hour+ long conversation to his family in Bulgaria after disregarding me for his computer all day. I love him very much, and I know he sacrificed a lot so that he could be here with me and so that we can live together.. But the way he's treating me is not okay. I know we are both incredibly frustrated as we have waited so long to feel settled with jobs and like we are in the right place, but I want us to feel together.
Today... He's currently playing a game on his computer. Again, I'm ignored through day to night. He woke up this morning telling me how crap this room is and how he wishes he never moved into it and how he will be spending the day in a crappy room in a crappy house... He then went on to tell me that due to us struggling to find work - we're going to be on the way back to my parents house in no time and then he was like but no I won't be doing that I'm just going to be going back to Bulgaria (his home country so I can understand but his wording just sounded so direct and insensitive)
I don't know what I'm doing and I'm feeling so worn down because I'm so tired of not having any purpose or goals or even financial stability and feeling responsible for my boyfriend. I'm just so demoralized. I've burnt a massive hole into my savings too
This is a joke, right? He quit a University because his room didnt have a window? You realize everything you wrote after that is totally inconsequential, dont you? The main issue is your very first sentence.
Leave him in London and move back home. He can go back to his home in Bulgaria, where everything is wonderful. You are dealing with some of the things that many young people have to go through. Learn what you can from it and make better decisions going forward. If I were you, Id drop his ass in a second - its pretty selfish for him to put this burden on your shoulders and make you feel responsible for leaving the country.
My boyfriend moved to my country in September to begin a university degree, unfortunately he had to drop out of university in the first week as we made the mistake of renting a room without a window which was unhabitable... We had to move to live with my parents in their house in the countryside (we stayed there for a few months - watching TV or taking the dog on a walk was literally all that we did day after day as there was nothing else - we searched for some jobs to no avail) my boyfriend became demoralised (we both did) and he became critical too (Always comparing everything to his perfect family home back in Sofia, Bulgaria in which let me mention he was incredibly spoilt) - he started demanding that I made a desicion as to what we were doing next in our lives and that he wanted to move out of my parents home. I knew we had to too, because we had no quality of life living there and we weren't achieving anything, but I had no idea where or what we were supposed to do next...
So I decided we would look for somewhere to live in a city close to my parents (once we found somewhere, we would rely on my savings until we found jobs) - we had dreadful luck trying to find somewhere to live and my boyfriend got incredibly frustrated as if the whole world was against him and he started getting this massive grudge towards the city until he decided he didn't want to look anymore...
So we were back to square one and I had to again decide what we were doing next to get out of my parents home yet again. We are now living in London and renting a room. (We still do not have jobs - but I can say living in London is good for a young couple like us) we moved here in December - the first room we rented wasn't perfect but liveable but my boyfriend has such high standards and he began moaning and criticising where we were living becoming really negative and nasty and personal towards the people we were renting it off of - becoming angry when they asked us for rent which to me is just a normal thing.. So we moved out of there and into another room as we are relying on my savings we cannot choose to be picky or fussy and have to take what is cheapest. This room is again fine, but last night the internet stopped working a couple of times and my boyfriend became mad and began complaining about how bad this room is too.. He got into a massive sulky strop and said that he just wanted to get a flight back to bulgaria until our contract with this room is up. I had no idea what to say to any of this... We've just moved in and have to put up with a room that isn't perfect to be living here in the city.
Everyday it's just the same - him with his back to me, browsing his computer and I just feel so alone and unsupported and I'm so tired of life. Most days he wants to finish with an hour+ long conversation to his family in Bulgaria after disregarding me for his computer all day. I love him very much, and I know he sacrificed a lot so that he could be here with me and so that we can live together.. But the way he's treating me is not okay. I know we are both incredibly frustrated as we have waited so long to feel settled with jobs and like we are in the right place, but I want us to feel together.
Today... He's currently playing a game on his computer. Again, I'm ignored through day to night. He woke up this morning telling me how crap this room is and how he wishes he never moved into it and how he will be spending the day in a crappy room in a crappy house... He then went on to tell me that due to us struggling to find work - we're going to be on the way back to my parents house in no time and then he was like but no I won't be doing that I'm just going to be going back to Bulgaria (his home country so I can understand but his wording just sounded so direct and insensitive)
I don't know what I'm doing and I'm feeling so worn down because I'm so tired of not having any purpose or goals or even financial stability and feeling responsible for my boyfriend. I'm just so demoralized. I've burnt a massive hole into my savings too
Your boyfriend is an assclown of the Nth degree, and you should evict him and his attitude back to Bulgaria, and search for a guy who isn't such a black hole of negativity.
Let him go back home and move on with your life as you wish it to be going on.
He isn't interested in a partnership, he is interested in tagging along for the ride.
I don't know what I'm doing and I'm feeling so worn down because I'm so tired of not having any purpose or goals or even financial stability and feeling responsible for my boyfriend. I'm just so demoralized. I've burnt a massive hole into my savings too
I'm just so demoralized. I've burnt a massive hole into my savings too
You can't buy love, respect or good boyfriends.
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