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That's what I was getting at when I asked her why she was still with him. Her reply was that he still might ask her, not that she was in love with him. Telling.
of course i am in love with him, thats why i hope he asks. if he doesnt want to be married id appreciate the truth but he says he wants to.
The reason you have all these "ring ads" all around your browser is because you are obviously obsessively looking at them!
Do you want a big expensive ring, or would you be ok with a $1000 ring? Rings are expensive and that's a lot for a younger guy (if you want a nice one) I know at 23 I couldn't have afforded the ring I want to buy for my gf that I'll probably buy later this year (around $10,000).. She'd be fine with a $1000 one, but I want to get her a nice one so I'd rather wait.. Maybe he's the same?
Also, expecting him to make such a large purchase when you aren't working is also a bit much.
haha yes i am, i need to stop looking. I would be alright with 1000 but yes maybe he's saving
Relax. Finish school. You've been a couple while being students and quasi-adults, but not in the "real world" as grown-ups, with having to work, earn a living, pay rent, juggle lots of responsibilities. You're still in school, and frankly, 24 is still pretty young. The people I know who rushed to get married at the end of college are now divorced. Most of those who waited till around 30 did much better.
I wouldn't pressure him or result to the ultimatum thing. Finish school, work full time, live as a full adult, and see where your relationship goes. You really don't want him to propose because you're pressured him, do you? You want him to do it because he's come to the heartfelt conclusion that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
I can probably understand his making those promises, in response to all your pressure. He's probably feeling like if he doesn't at least promise, you'll dump him. So he promises to release some of the pressure temporarily. Sure that's a sign of immaturity (like when I was a teenager and would tell my mom "in a minute!" when she would tell me over and over to do my laundry), so that's yet another sign that some more maturing (for both of you) has to happen before marriage is a wise thing.
thank you for your kind words. no i certainly dont want him to due to pressure. i agree i need to be working first - im more worried he will do it out of pettiness/guilt this year
You giving him all the power to determine your future. You decide internally what you want and if he comes around, great. If he doesn't you were not on the same page and it wasn't meant to be.
When I met my current husband, I had already determined that I wasn't going to waste years waiting for him to propose. One day he told me about one of his friends who finally proposed after dating someone for 12 years. I laughed and told him flat out that I wasn't a girl that was going to wait around that long for a proposal. So he knew that if I was the one, he would have to be timely in his proposal. And he was.
But if he hadn't? I would have moved on. I wouldn't have nagged him about getting engaged, I wouldn't have threatened an ultimatum, I wouldn't have given him a countdown to propose. In my head I just committed to a time when I would no longer tolerate not having the relationship progress and end it. I didn't want to push him into anything but I also wasn't going to sit around and wait for him for years either.
And yes, 24 is very young. My high school/college sweetheart marriage didn't work because we were too young and immature. It was easy to be "in love" when we weren't in the real world with real responsibilities and real jobs and real bills. Once that happened, we fell apart because we were so different in our life approaches. I almost wished we had broken up before we married so that we could have stayed friends. No chance of that after a disastrous marriage, too much hurt between us.
And yes, 24 is very young. My high school/college sweetheart marriage didn't work because we were too young and immature. It was easy to be "in love" when we weren't in the real world with real responsibilities and real jobs and real bills. Once that happened, we fell apart because we were so different in our life approaches. I almost wished we had broken up before we married so that we could have stayed friends. No chance of that after a disastrous marriage, too much hurt between us.
This is crucial. OP, you both need to be out in the working world to see how you each handle monthly finances. A big difference in money management will kill a marriage, so you want to find that out about each other before you get engaged. Also, you need to find out if you share the same financial and life goals, see if you're on anything close to the same page. It's easy to hang out and coast in a relationship when you're in school. Things change when you're in the full-time working world. And things change again after that is no longer new, you've been doing that a couple of years, and you start to take a longer view of life and work.
He's not reliable. Get rid of him before you end up wasting your entire youth on him and find yourself scratching your head at 30 and wondering where your 20s went.
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