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Hi all, looking for some opinions and ill try my best to keep it short.
No doubt I will catch some flack in this but I decided to take a chance.
To sum up I flew to russia to marry my fiencee. She has shown her blunt side before but I'm left questioning what has happened. I felt picked apart for most of the trip. I need to get these things out because my head is spinning.
My planes were delayed and I had to rebook the last leg of my journey in Moscow. We used Skype with free Wifi because I turned cell data off and it didn't work consistently. I was concerned about $10 per mb and other crazy charges. I contacted her within an hour of learning my new flight time and told her I read my contract again and could send text for .75 per I was told I had no compassion and kept her family up all night. I tried to explain this but it was still brought up a few time on my stay.
It appears I packed the wrong and innapropriate winter clothes. That maybe I could not be trusted to make good decisions. I had one bag I packed what I had room for.
I was not washing my hands properly I needed to use more soap and water. After the third time with me objecting to her behaviour she explained she was scared of TB for her and her child. I wished she had told me this the first time and said I would complete. She didn't understand why I would just trust her first instruction.
I brought the wrong ammount of alcohol for gifts and wedding. Yes I didn't think I could bring multiple bottles and didn't get it correct, my bad but I was asked to explain this 2 or 3 times.
My hair was too long/ I should consider shaving my whole body as I left a lot of hair around her house.
I should not stand up while taking a shower as I splashed water on the walls and some got on the floor. I am a guest in her house but seemed strange.
She handed a bag she was carrying to her daughter while she struggled with unlocking her door. The daughter complained it was too heavy and I was scolded for allowing her to hold it. I didn't know how heavy it was, she heald it for maybe 10-15 seconds.
She complained I was not getting ready to leave fast enough. i would get up and be dressed in about 30 secounds and stand there for 5 minutes while she got dressed.
The day I left she pre packed my bag on her own. I went through the room and looked under the bed and checked all around. She told me i would have forgotten the things under the bed and was a poor packer. I told her I just checked under the bed and there was nothing there but she was still convinced I would have forgot the items.
I went to this woman I fell in love with to marry and I could not make another trip. We did marry but I'm really worried. I don't even want to get into details of our Uneventful wedding night. She has a child and we were intimate once on the trip, but I was told to hurry.
I'm shaking my head its the most blizzard thing I've experience relationship wise. She was stressed, lack of sleep and so was I but it was like a three ring circus! She did cook and clean for me, we had a great wedding and visited with friends. Many pictures just sent to me and says she loves me and misses me?
Am I over sensative? It felt like I was her little boy for most of the trip. I was in a foreign country and could not speak the language. Communication was not always the best but we got by. I told her I was a grown man and didn't want to be mothered but to no avail.
I tend to let these things build up, I'm easy going and put up with a lot but I plan to confront her on the way I fealt on this trip, I just got home yesterday. Im worried this is almost like dejaveau for me, I dated another woman and let similar things build up to the point of bust. The confrontation didn't end well. I'm lost...
Last edited by Alcamee; 01-25-2015 at 05:33 AM..
Reason: Spelling
This was my second trip to her. It went good but she didn't want me to kiss her for the first 5 days. This seemed to weird but when I told her in my culture it meant she had no interest in me it changed. 10 good days with her and I fell in love with both her and her daughter. No major problems beside that. The trip ended with a very intense and passionate night.
She is a self admitted perfectionist but we talked about this, I have some of these traits too but I don't think I pointed out any of her flaws on the trips.
I am a stereotypical nice guy, I don't like to fight and argue. She has implied I might be too good/nice. Is it possible she is testing me and my ability to stand up for myself?
I knew when I asked her I was taking a chance. I was not going to be able to make countles trips to her. To me this was not a sacred vow but more the signing of a contract. Marriage was the only way for us to try a relationship. If I need to get out if this it's not going to hurt too badly financially. I was there for 4 days before the wedding, I thought maybe cold feet both mine and hers and stress which had been building for weeks in preparation of this wedding. Some of these things happened after the marriage as well.
I knew when I asked her I was taking a chance. I was not going to be able to make countless trips to her. To me this was not a sacred vow but more the signing of a contract. Marriage was the only way for us to try a relationship. If I need to get out if this it's not going to hurt too badly financially. I was there for 4 days before the wedding, I thought maybe cold feet both mine and hers and stress which had been building for weeks in preparation of this wedding. Some of these things happened after the marriage as well.
OP:
Regarding the bolded part in pink...
Seems to me that this is a marriage of convenience.
I knew when I asked her I was taking a chance. I was not going to be able to make countles trips to her. To me this was not a sacred vow but more the signing of a contract. Marriage was the only way for us to try a relationship. If I need to get out if this it's not going to hurt too badly financially. I was there for 4 days before the wedding, I thought maybe cold feet both mine and hers and stress which had been building for weeks in preparation of this wedding. Some of these things happened after the marriage as well.
It is not only about you guys it is about the girl too.
You are rushing into marriage and having kid.
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