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It sounds like maybe your wife needs to address her jealousy issues. I hate to harp on counseling, because that seems to be the "cure-all" for everything (it's really not), but maybe she needs to talk to someone who can help her get to the root of the problem and give her some solutions and suggestions on how to deal with her problem. You also need to possibly read a book or two on how to deal with someone with a jealousy problem. You need to be able to nip the accusations in the bud when they come up during an argument.
I understand some modicum of jealousy, although I can't really relate to it. Neither my husband nor myself are jealous people. If we were, one of us would either be dead or end up in a nut house somewhere because I am a competitive dancer and am frequently dancing in the arms of other men (no sex or anything like that whatsoever!) and he is in the company of beautiful women on a daily basis.
There are a lot of good books out there that can help you deal with different types of personalities - jealousy being one of them. You might look into NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) or any book by David J. Lieberman.
You seem like a guy who has your head screwed on straight, but your wife really needs to get over the jealous behavior, or at the very least, not throw an accusation in your face every time you guys argue. It's unproductive.
I think you might have had more succes with this female friend had you made an attempt to let her get to know your wife. That way your wife would not feel so threatened. AND I can't help but feel that the woman you were riding with was asking an innapropriate thing of you. Some women out there like to try and hook a man in just this way. She knew you were married, its one thing to meet you and go for rides with you but its another to ask you to build her a bike.
If it was innocent on her part, she would have been more then happy to meet your wife and children.
dglvr,
I was pretty up-front about everything. If I was going riding I let her know if I was going solo or with someone. And if I said her name (the person's name who I no longer speak of) she would know right off who I was talking about and would *act* fine about it.
And yes I let my wife know that I was building up a bike for her.
I tried to keep everything on the table.
Ah...one thing. When we were searching for parts she wanted to use on her bike she would drop me emails asking questions about it and the occational phone call. My wife was not always on a conference call unfortuanately. I didn't feel it was that big of a deal....but she did.
Considering all the information you've presented, I think you are an all-around good guy. And I had to rep you for that, and for making me laugh about how you wern't building a rocket to go into space with! HaHaHa, its GOOD to laugh!!
I understand what you are saying but should I never do anything for anyone except my family? I'm the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off my back and not ask for anything in return. I guess I just go overboard when I'm trying to help someone out sometimes. Maybe I should be less helpful to others in the future?
I don't think it goes that far...allow me, if you will, to suggest this...keep your wife in the loop, and try and discuss these issues with her, and listen to her feedback....first. And if she isn't comfortable with it, then I think at least for awhile, back off, but certainly if you keep her in the loop of things, kinda like your asking her for her opinion, make her feel part of it, yanno...then see what she replies.
Your wife is a jealous woman. That spells insecurity. That's why she doesn't let this issue die. Have you ever spoken to her about why she feels so insecure? Was she abandoned as a child or did she come from a divorced home?
She was married before. That was a train wreck in itself and I think this is where a lot of the insecurity comes from.
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I tried to rep you, but the CD Control Tower said I gotta wait 24 hours!
