Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, you are right that in general people like to say "act confident". But now I am most confused: It's ok to act confident but not act "tough"? why? What is the difference?
As far as I know women like both confident and tough males so...?
note this is just question, I am not defending one nor another position.
Please, give a few examples of acting "tough" around women?
i.e drinking a gallon of gasoline, or perhaps chopping a finger off and laughing about it?
Yes, you are right that in general people like to say "act confident". But now I am most confused: It's ok to act confident but not act "tough"? why? What is the difference?
As far as I know women like both confident and tough males so...?
note this is just question, I am not defending one nor another position.
There is a difference...confidence portrays you are comfortable with who you are and don't let simple things bother you or bring you down.
Acting tough represents you are some macho maniac, that doesn't give a crap about anything, willingly disregarding the dangers or outcomes of something.
Yes, you are right that in general people like to say "act confident". But now I am most confused: It's ok to act confident but not act "tough"? why? What is the difference?
As far as I know women like both confident and tough males so...?
note this is just question, I am not defending one nor another position.
Confidence: Knowing what you're about and being comfortable with who you are. I'm corky, witty, nerdy, funny, charming, etc. and I don't feel any need to put up a facade to hide these qualities.
If a woman is looking for a bad boy or a tough-acting guy, I'm not it. If a woman doesn't like that I'm not built like a tank and that I'm a little nerdy, she can go kick rocks. I'll stand up and fight for myself if need be, but I'm also not going around looking for a fight.
Please, give a few examples of acting "tough" around women?
i.e drinking a gallon of gasoline, or perhaps chopping a finger off and laughing about it?
Excellent question!
well, for instance: not showing fatigue, pain - after a long day at work or hard workout or simply your body is sore
Restrain from showing sorrow, sadness, loneliness, grievance, when it's not convenient for your surroundings - work, school, evening IT club. You understand everybody has it's own problem, his own pain and you do not with to bother him with yours just to make yourself better at the expense of mood of people around you.
Taking on challenge regardless your own comfort. When boss says there is work that needs to be done this evening and you do it without grumbling or making frown face - even though you had your plans for the evening or you feel tired and want to go home. provided boss is fair to you and what he asks you for is only good for the society, i.e. the company itself (not just him).
When you sit behind your desk and study. Your friends (girls) ask you to go outside and enjoy fun, but you must finish your duties first and you tell them to enjoy without you, you are great too.
When you feel lonely and have few friends around you but instead of nagging how difficult your situation is right you you focus to them feel good with you without demanding treatment from them.
When your gym instructor asks you if you are tired and need rest but you, despite your whole person hurts like hell and you would like to vomit, carry on exercise because you know you can do it and you know that's the only way how boys become men.
Confidence: Knowing what you're about and being comfortable with who you are. I'm corky, witty, nerdy, funny, charming, etc. and I don't feel any need to put up a facade to hide these qualities.
If a woman is looking for a bad boy or a tough-acting guy, I'm not it. If a woman doesn't like that I'm not built like a tank and that I'm a little nerdy, she can go kick rocks. I'll stand up and fight for myself if need be, but I'm also not going around looking for a fight.
Ok I understand now.
But there still is one leak: if we are talking about "acting" it means you are not ok with who you are. You just pretend to be so. So, once you get know each other better she will realize you are not who you seemd to be?
So where is logic? You act tough but you are not. She will find it out. You act confident but you are not. She will find it out too. Once is ok (acting confident) but second is ridiculous? Why?
There is a difference...confidence portrays you are comfortable with who you are and don't let simple things bother you or bring you down.
Acting tough represents you are some macho maniac, that doesn't give a crap about anything, willingly disregarding the dangers or outcomes of something.
I see. we have completely different idea of tough. My bad.
Last edited by Alcoholix; 02-12-2015 at 03:23 PM..
But there still is one leak: if we are talking about "acting" it means you are not ok with who you are. You just pretend to be so. So, once you get know each other better she will realize you are not who you seemd to be?
So where is logic? You act tough but you are not. She will find it out. You act confident but you are not. She will find it out too. Once is ok (acting confident) but second is ridiculous? Why?
That's why you should be yourself so that you'll attract a mate who is attracted to who you are, not who you are pretending to be. It's just a waste of time to act like someone you're not, because eventually the truth will reveal itself and you will have invested much time and energy in a person who may not like the real you.
"Acting" implies you are being some way or someone who you are not to achieve a result you desire. It's manipulation at its core.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcoholix
if we are talking about "acting" it means you are not ok with who you are. You just pretend to be so. So, once you get know each other better she will realize you are not who you seemd to be?
So where is logic? You act tough but you are not. She will find it out. You act confident but you are not. She will find it out too.
Sadly this seems to be the expectation for introverted males at least where I live.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
