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Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,925 times
Reputation: 2158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I'm not a virgin but wish I was and had saved it for my husband. I haven't had sex in almost 20 years and won't have it until marriage.
I am a 37 year old male virgin but I am just waiting for something meaningful. Meaningful sex developing from a deep and intimate friendship that developed over a period of months or years is what I want.
Marriage is a major decision and a binding legal contract, so I would never wait for that before having sex. Plus I don't really see a benefit to marriage unless you're going to have children.
Oh geeze. 30 years ago was 1985. There was no paying attention to "moral standards" regarding pre marital sex. Heck, that was gone in 1975. This has nothing to do with millennials, or gen Y, or even gen X, the hippies blew that out of the water (the little that was left).
Oh geeze. 30 years ago was 1985. There was no paying attention to "moral standards" regarding pre marital sex. Heck, that was gone in 1975. This has nothing to do with millennials, or gen Y, or even gen X, the hippies blew that out of the water (the little that was left).
You don't honestly want me to believe that people were as loose about sex in 1985 as they are today do you??? Yes the hippies had a blast spreading immorality in the 60s and 70s but that does not mean those values went mainstream. In the 1980s most people who lived in "average America" still held what would be considered very conservative views about sex by todays standards. Maybe in San Fransisco or New York you may find liberal sexual attitudes in 1985, but in most communities that would not be the case. Todays sexual attitudes are a world away from what they were back then. From what I understand a lot of people nowadays have dozens of sexual partners in their history. That would be quite rare in 1985. Also today the average age of marriage has gone up considerably since then. Many more people married at 21 back then, while today its more common to wait until 30 or even later. I believe this has led to a loosening of sexual morals as well.
If there is chemistry and attraction it almost always started and ended with kissing on the first date. That was a big deal to me. If he wasn't a great kisser then it was a no-go.
Sex usually happened by the third or fourth date, sometimes, like with my husband, date two.
The ladies in my life & I have been spending a lot of time kissing...oui oui.....
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaxRhapsody
85 is Millennial generation, lol.
They were born then. They were not dating / having sex then.
Quote:
Originally Posted by danielj72
You don't honestly want me to believe that people were as loose about sex in 1985 as they are today do you??? Yes the hippies had a blast spreading immorality in the 60s and 70s but that does not mean those values went mainstream. In the 1980s most people who lived in "average America" still held what would be considered very conservative views about sex by todays standards. Maybe in San Fransisco or New York you may find liberal sexual attitudes in 1985, but in most communities that would not be the case. Todays sexual attitudes are a world away from what they were back then. From what I understand a lot of people nowadays have dozens of sexual partners in their history. That would be quite rare in 1985. Also today the average age of marriage has gone up considerably since then. Many more people married at 21 back then, while today its more common to wait until 30 or even later. I believe this has led to a loosening of sexual morals as well.
There was a blip down with the aids scare around that time, for a bit, but otherwise yes. In fact, a lot of data shows young people today are more prudish about sex than the similar demographics of the 1980s and they wait until they're a bit older to have sex for the first time. I was 19 midway through 1990, and there were many many teens/early 20s people with a dozen (or dozens if partners in the mid/late 1980s), and I come from a rather conservative uptight suburb.
And yes, hippie values went mainstream (As did the sex/drugs/disco group that followed).
Coincidentally, the rate of divorce peaked in the 1970s and early 80s... and has steadily decline since then. Clearly, delaying marriage until one is older and more established (and presumably sowing a few wild oats in the mean time) has had a positive impact on marriage in general.
ETA: If you want to talk about the sexually conservative good ol' days, start with the "Baby Scoop Era" from 1940-1970
Quote:
Originally Posted by danielj72
Also today the average age of marriage has gone up considerably since then. Many more people married at 21 back then, while today its more common to wait until 30 or even later. I believe this has led to a loosening of sexual morals as well.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 03-05-2015 at 08:48 AM..
They were born then. They were not dating / having sex then.
There was a blip down with the aids scare around that time, for a bit, but otherwise yes. In fact, a lot of data shows young people today are more prudish about sex than the similar demographics of the 1980s and they wait until they're a bit older to have sex for the first time. I was 19 midway through 1990, and there were many many teens/early 20s people with a dozen (or dozens if partners in the mid/late 1980s), and I come from a rather conservative uptight suburb.
And yes, hippie values went mainstream (As did the sex/drugs/disco group that followed).
I guess we must have lived in two different countries in two different planes of existence. If you think hippie values were in mainstreet Indiana or Alabama in 1985 then I don't know what to say. I guess if you lived in a big city east coast/west coast kinda place there may have been a totally different experience. I have spent my entire life either living in the Midwest or South. That may color my view, just like living in New York City would color ones view toward the left. The big difference in my opinion between today and back then is the fact that a more liberal view of sex is now common no matter where you live, and its mostly visible in the youngest generation.
I guess we must have lived in two different countries in two different planes of existence. If you think hippie values were in mainstreet Indiana or Alabama in 1985 then I don't know what to say. I guess if you lived in a big city east coast/west coast kinda place there may have been a totally different experience. I have spent my entire life either living in the Midwest or South. That may color my view, just like living in New York City would color ones view toward the left. The big difference in my opinion between today and back then is the fact that a more liberal view of sex is now common no matter where you live, and its mostly visible in the youngest generation.
I've lived my whole life in the midwest too, and not in any big cities. I think you probably just had your head in the sand or lived in an extremely conservative area where no one talked about what was actually happening behind closed doors.
Desire for sex is biologically encoded in human beings though. So, I mean, they're going to get it from somewhere. Would you be comfortable with all that while you're potentially taking years just to be their friends before any benefits? And with that, you're also at risk of losing them to someone else.
I don't think relationships have to be built on sex. But it can be an important part of any relationship, whether it's the beginning, middle, or end.
A woman really has to ask herself how she would feel if she gives in to the man to avoid "losing him" (if it was true love, how could you lose him over lack of sex? ijs) only later to find out that he:
Had other sex partners besides her she kept secret, or:
They marry and he has an affair anyway.
All I'm trying to say is, to be pressured in to sex at the risk of losing the love and desire of the man you are in love with....that is tantamount to emotional blackmail.
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