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I believe the older we get, the less interested we are with stero typing and more so, concern ourselves with the internal aspects of humans. We also grow more confident with who we are, and don't really care about what others think any longer...it's an age thing... I dunno, I saw pictures?
But the bottom line is...who really cares what one looks like or how they dress, as long as they're clean, not a criminal, and respect the rights of others...and are not a member of any special interest group...I just stuck that part in to make it interesting...lol
Seriously, though, who cares....what we need to do is stand back and look at the big picture...us...what we've done to contribute to our families...our neighborhoods, our schools, which will run a ripple effect. We need to care about each other more....
Yeah, exactly!
I try to look at it this way: If everyone was like me, size 7 shoes would cost a thousand bucks, Buddhist temples would be packed, everyone would live near the mountains, we would all read Kahlil Gibran and Plato, we would all be terrified of heights, we would all spend much of our lives in front of an easel with asininely expensive paints, cows would run rampant because no one would eat them, and everyone would have science degrees. How freaky and creepy that world would be! It would be so BORING! I am more than enough me for me, I assure you!
Last edited by MorningGlory; 01-12-2008 at 10:44 PM..
Reason: Forgot!
I live in rural Alaska and sometimes it's difficult to tell the women from the men. But on the rare occasion that I do encounter another female, I'm usually so glad to see one that I don't bother to compare Carhartt jeans.
I think you can tell a lot about a woman by the tone of voice she uses with you. I can hear judgment a mile away. It's not difficult to tell if someone is trying too hard or finds you to be a nuisance. However, I don't believe this to be gender specific. Someone will always feel the need to be superior in whatever way they can.
With that being said....
I think all women are wonderful. They all have a story to tell....some through their words, and others through their actions. At times I don't think they know what story it is, but it's always great in some way or another.
When I was on a recent trip I had met some young girls. 21 year olds. Beautiful... in great shape, etc. We were hanging out on the beach together. In bikini's! They both looked at me and said they can only hope to look like me when they were my age. I am old enough to be their moms....I told them that sincere compliments from other women, especially at their ages, is the highest form of flattery. I look spectacular, am not afraid to say it and am glad young women notice that. I worked hard at staying in shape. For me and my family. You can tell instantly when other women are jealous...of your looks, your life, etc. (Avoid the scowling ones who carry their handbags everywhere including into the bathroom with them! ) I work with a women who instead of saying good morning to me when I first walked in the office she zero's in on a diamond necklace I was wearing and asks, "Who do you think you are?" Needless to say, I do not trust her! Having pride and feeling good about yourself and sharing it with others in uplifting. I have always admired a well dressed women who walks with a strut and a smile on her face. I am now one of them. Kisses to all you beautiful confident ladies!
Last edited by Hellofromme!; 01-13-2008 at 04:27 AM..
Reason: content
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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This doesn't happen too often. I tend to not make a personal impression of someone until after I speak with them....but last night....
I was on a plane and a gal got on, over the top make-up with Egyptian style eye make-up, head to toe in tight knit mismatched layers of clothing, knee high boots, over kill on the pouty lip injections...stood out like a sore thumb. Which is unlike me to make any sort of opinion of someone like this because my own dear sister has her beat on shocking get up and make-up. When we landed, I realized I'd left some camera equipment at the gate and you know that woman said some very comforting things about thinking positive; she was very kind and my first impression stayed on the plane. I realized she wasn't much different than myself, I have a tenancy to engage strangers too. I like to make people smile and she definitely made me smile even though I was internally freaking out about my equipment.
There are some great people in this world, we just have to sometimes get past our first impressions to see them.
Which brings me back to my little sister. I lost her to mental illness a few years ago (I was on the plane leaving from a great visit with her). It's taken some adjusting to get to know "this" sister. She has body dismorphic (sp?) disorder and wears shocking make up that she puts on in the dark (literally). Since she and her family have moved to a new city, people and other parents in her children's school district have not received her very well and even went so far as to slander her in an email to all PTA members. The thing is, she doesn't have one bad or evil bone in her body, she is a sweet, lost soul, but people just can't get past her appearance.
So I usually don't make any impressions of anyone based on appearance, knowing what I know about my suffering sister.
This doesn't happen too often. I tend to not make a personal impression of someone until after I speak with them....but last night....
I was on a plane and a gal got on, over the top make-up with Egyptian style eye make-up, head to toe in tight knit mismatched layers of clothing, knee high boots, over kill on the pouty lip injections...stood out like a sore thumb. Which is unlike me to make any sort of opinion of someone like this because my own dear sister has her beat on shocking get up and make-up. When we landed, I realized I'd left some camera equipment at the gate and you know that woman said some very comforting things about thinking positive; she was very kind and my first impression stayed on the plane. I realized she wasn't much different than myself, I have a tenancy to engage strangers too. I like to make people smile and she definitely made me smile even though I was internally freaking out about my equipment.
There are some great people in this world, we just have to sometimes get past our first impressions to see them.
Which brings me back to my little sister. I lost her to mental illness a few years ago (I was on the plane leaving from a great visit with her). It's taken some adjusting to get to know "this" sister. She has body dismorphic (sp?) disorder and wears shocking make up that she puts on in the dark (literally). Since she and her family have moved to a new city, people and other parents in her children's school district have not received her very well and even went so far as to slander her in an email to all PTA members. The thing is, she doesn't have one bad or evil bone in her body, she is a sweet, lost soul, but people just can't get past her appearance.
So I usually don't make any impressions of anyone based on appearance, knowing what I know about my suffering sister.
Tried to give you reps...but couldn't....I'm so sorry about your sister....and I hope with time, things will change....hugs to you
Sorry MainStreet.I hope your sister gets better for her sake and her famalies.Thanks for posting that. I think many will sympathize/empathize with your sister but you may also find that some of those who convey that will be ripping apart someone else who is an unfortunate.Thats the perverse side of things. People chose to embrace others misfortune's or not. Like with celebrities. Some say poor Britney, etc. but if it happened to you they would consider you a self sabotaging waste of time and cut you off. JMO.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellofromme!
Sorry MainStreet.I hope your sister gets better for her sake and her families.Thanks for posting that. I think many will sympathize/empathize with your sister but you may also find that some of those who convey that will be ripping apart someone else who is an unfortunate.Thats the perverse side of things. People chose to embrace others misfortune's or not. Like with celebrities. Some say poor Britney, etc. but if it happened to you they would consider you a self sabotaging waste of time and cut you off. HMO.
Creme and Hellofromme, thank you for your kind words. We were unstoppable sisters as kids, very close, still are, but I am the only family member that candidly speaks with her about her illness, BDD is only a small part of her mental illness, but is the one thing that gets her in the most trouble. She is misunderstood so much that she has almost been arrested many times. One time, she got lost driving and ended up on a toll road four times, part of her illness is that she is scared to give out any personal information for fear that the government will kill her family, so when she ended up at a toll booth four times in one day, with no money and refusing to identify herself, they summons her four times to the tune of $250 per booth, $1000 because no one could figure out that she was scared out of her mind.
She can't order a pizza for delivery.
She can't mail birthday cards or gifts.
She can't call her family.
She can't fill out paperwork at school or at the doctor.
She's been escorted off planes, kicked out of dog parks, not because of anything she's done wrong, but that when people see her, they are so shocked by her appearance that she is put under a microscope and they pick out the slightest misstep and call the police. Which is ironic, because we were raised by one and I work for them.
So first impressions, 99.9% of time for me, don't hold any weight until I get to know someone.
She doesn't get many hugs because she gets make up all over everything, but I've said, heck with it, she needs some human contact and clothes are replaceable. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that hugs her.
I've mentioned my gratitude list at night. I'm grateful that my sister is getting the best care.
Last edited by MainStreet; 01-13-2008 at 06:22 AM..
Creme and Hellofromme, thank you for your kind words. We were unstoppable sisters as kids, very close, still are, but I am the only family member that candidly speaks with her about her illness, BDD is only a small part of her mental illness, but is the one thing that gets her in the most trouble. She is misunderstood so much that she has almost been arrested many times. One time, she got lost driving and ended up on a toll road four times, part of her illness is that she is scared to give out any personal information for fear that the government will kill her family, so when she ended up at a toll booth four times in one day, with no money and refusing to identify herself, they summons her four times to the tune of $250 per booth, $1000 because no one could figure out that she was scared out of her mind.
She can't order a pizza for delivery.
She can't mail birthday cards or gifts.
She can't call her family.
She can't fill out paperwork at school or at the doctor.
Can you imagine that life?
She doesn't get many hugs because she gets make up all over everything, but I've said, heck with it, she needs some human contact and clothes are replaceable. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that hugs her.
I've mentioned my gratitude list at night. I'm grateful that my sister is getting the best care.
I am sure I have misjudged many in the past but now I do not for exactly the reasons your telling me. And because I am an adult. No one knows what goes on inside another. No one. So there are people out there who will call others names, invent stories, etc. with little to no remorse about the people they are attacking. They are the same people who will watch a movie about some unfortuanate soul and say gee, thats horrible but if they actually know someone who has similar stuations they do not care. I had an immediate family member who killed themself due to being put down and degraded by people who did not know they suffered from several serious illnesses. But if it were their family member they would be crying all over the place looking for sympthay. My thoughts and prayers are genuinely with you and your sister.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,537,150 times
Reputation: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellofromme!
I am sure I have misjudged many in the past but now I do not for exactly the reasons your telling me. And because I am an adult. No one knows what goes on inside another. No one. So there are people out there who will call others names, invent stories, etc. with little to no remorse about the people they are attacking. They are the same people who will watch a movie about some unfortuanate soul and say gee, thats horrible but if they actually know someone who has similar stuations they do not care. I had an immediate family member who killed themself due to being put down and degraded by people who did not know they suffered from several serious illnesses. But if it were their family member they would be crying all over the place looking for sympthay. My thoughts and prayers are genuinely with you and your sister.
I wish more people understood this like you. You don't know what is within someone to cause them to act different. I've found that people act like it's an inconvenience to give someone suffering special treatment. But can you imagine what it's like for them?
When I've talked to my own child about this, I explained that we are all one severe car accident away, one severe head injury away from having the exact same issues my sister has.
Which reminds me. When I go to visit her in her giant house, I always fall. Last month I fell 5 times, three times outside while shoveling snow, once in the bath tub and once on the stairs. I never fall.
Well this week, I was carrying a basket of laundry with a beautiful cinnamon roll on plate, precariously balanced on top. I stumble and fell face first into their basement and my head missed the corner of the pool table by a hair, I could actually feel the breeze of it pass by my head; it would have been a neck breaker. I'm very aware how close I came to needing someone to take care of me; and it's that intuition that helps me care and love my sister.
Last edited by MainStreet; 01-13-2008 at 07:08 AM..
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I dunno, I saw pictures? 
For MainStreet
