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The problems associated with different views/belifs/faiths do not matter so much when it's just dating. The bar to entry in these situations is that you just get along well enough to enjoy each other's company.
It's what comes after where you're going to find your serious conflicts happening.
I don't know if I would say we have the same views - we are both pretty much non-religious though. I'm more of an atheist/agnostic and he's just not religious. He was raised Southern Baptist and sort of identifies as Christian but doesn't really believe in anything. We don't really talk about it much. We aren't raising our children religiously so that's not an issue.
That said, I also have the right to choose not to get involved in a relationship with a non-believer anymore.
i date them but pretty much know it will be difficult to develop anything stronger than a loving friendship. spirituality is important to me, integral in my lifestyle; i don't know how ppl deal with stress and life's challeges in the absence of believing in a higher being that created the universe. yes, i know many have other beliefs and methods for dealing with it, but i can't comprehend, and then again it's the path they have chosen so good luck to them (can't say "vaya con dios" can i? lol). i want a life partner who can take the same path as me....
Do you and your SO have the same views, or would you date someone who holds different views?
My husband is a very devout christian, while I am agnostic. For the most part it is a non-issue because neither one of us is trying to convert the other, and I don't stand in the way of him bringing the kids to church. I guess it might be a little weird for him to have a heathen wife, seeing as he was a minister for over a decade and continues to write inspirational materials and do his "preacher for hire" gig on the side... but at the same time, I'm his biggest supporter, even if I don't share the same beliefs.
Casually date someone with different views, sure. In fact, I'm sure that I have.
Have a significant relationship with someone with different views, no. Our respective views don't need to match exactly, but they do need to be similar.
My husband and I are the same, probably a lot like the OP. I'm not religious and don't much care about religion. I'll go to church if I have to for something, but that's it.
I tried dating a very religious guy and it was too much. He talked about religion constantly and was just so entrenched in his beliefs there was no room for anything else. He was a great person, but I couldn't take it. Someone who is religious but didn't talk about it constantly I could probably handle though.
Generally, it's a lot easier to be on the same page, in my experience. I'm glad my husband and I have the same opinions when it comes to religion. We don't have to worry about how we'll raise our kids, how we'll handle holidays, etc.
"Religion" is not just a philosophy, though. It's a belief system regarding how one should live one's life. It affects one's views of acceptable behavior and interaction with others.
If those personal viewpoints between two people are incompatible, how can they be partners in life?
When someone says they are "religious" but that you can't tell, to me that really means the person is nearly agnostic, but leans more towards belief in the concept of "God". That's not what the term "religious" means to me.
I'm an atheist but I honestly don't care what my partner believes, I'll even go to church with her. She's just casually religious and doesn't really talk about it. Honestly I kind of enjoyed going to church with her the two times we went, lots of friendly people there and it was fun, aside from listening to the preacher it was good experience.. She only goes when she has family visiting or if it's an event with friends.
My entire family is either athiest or agnostic, and nobody is the militant type athiest either. We just don't care about it at all. It's sad seeing how some religious people are so close minded, but I think that's a minority now anyway, they're just the crazy ones you hear about.
Would I date a very religious woman? No, but I wouldn't date an athiest that is not open minded enough to live and let live.
Do you and your SO have the same views, or would you date someone who holds different views?
We are both Christians. I've dated Atheists, didn't bother me one bit.
If anything, I have come into contact more with atheist/agnostic close minded people than with crazy religious people.
This has been my experience, as well. But, also, the vast majority of religious practitioners in my life are pretty even-keel, quietly spiritual, and don't fit the "crazy religious people who proselytize to you" descriptor. In my life, the spiritual folks have been far more the, "eh, you believe what you believe, I believe what I believe, no biggie, it's cool," people than the atheist folks. Not all religious (or nonreligious) people are fanatical.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
"Religion" is not just a philosophy, though. It's a belief system regarding
how one should live one's life. It affects one's views of acceptable behavior
and interaction with others.
If those personal viewpoints between two
people are incompatible, how can they be partners in life?
They can't be, if their values are incompatible. But people can have compatible values whether or not they are religious, whether one is religious and the other is not, etc. One doesn't have to be religiously/spiritually affiliated to have a particular values system.
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