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When someone ****says**** they don't want to rush into things but they text/call/contact you constantly and ****act***** as if they are dating you exclusively right off the bat.
Mixed messages.....hmmmm....
When someone says "I am only attracted to you and only want to be with you"; "I have been waiting for someone like you all of my life". "I love you's" are said throughout the day....everyday. This goes on for a few months and then you move in together and within a very short time after moving in, you are sitting on the porch together and an attractive much younger woman walks by. The conversation suddenly becomes one-way and he is incapable of repeating what I just told him because he is mesmerized by this other woman and makes no qualms about hiding it. When questioned, he replies...."I just cannot help myself. Whenever I see an attractive woman I wonder what it would be like to make love to her." Then he denies saying this when I pitch a fit and says "I never said that....I said 'whenever most men see an attractive women because they are primal they wonder that, but I am not like that because I am in love with you."
So I give him the benefit of the doubt and buy into that "I'm deaf and didn't hear him correctly" theory of his and this kind of behavior continues for years, while I am told "You are the only one", "I am not interested in anyone but you". He talks in a very sexy low voice to certain and attractive women on the phone using words like "baby, darling". He even makes a point of telling me how his sister and him grinded up against one another dancing, (I know, sick puppy--although I think I am the sickest one for putting up with it.), and I have witnessed the two of them flirting with one another, and he tells me I am the dirty minded one for thinking such thoughts because she is his "sister". And I could go on and on....
That to me is the best example of mixed signals I can give based on my own experiences. I know that it is my bad because I chose to put up with it, fell in love with the wrong person, and am now trying very hard to work on my self esteem issues so that I will never allow myself to put up with this kind of treatment --ever. Why men get involved with someone when they clearly are players and have such a blatant interest in other women is beyond me.
Whew! Too much info, probably. Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, OP, but I do feel better.
Mixed messages.....hmmmm....
When someone says "I am only attracted to you and only want to be with you"; "I have been waiting for someone like you all of my life". "I love you's" are said throughout the day....everyday. This goes on for a few months and then you move in together and within a very short time after moving in, you are sitting on the porch together and an attractive much younger woman walks by. The conversation suddenly becomes one-way and he is incapable of repeating what I just told him because he is mesmerized by this other woman and makes no qualms about hiding it. When questioned, he replies...."I just cannot help myself. Whenever I see an attractive woman I wonder what it would be like to make love to her." Then he denies saying this when I pitch a fit and says "I never said that....I said 'whenever most men see an attractive women because they are primal they wonder that, but I am not like that because I am in love with you."
So I give him the benefit of the doubt and buy into that "I'm deaf and didn't hear him correctly" theory of his and this kind of behavior continues for years, while I am told "You are the only one", "I am not interested in anyone but you". He talks in a very sexy low voice to certain and attractive women on the phone using words like "baby, darling". He even makes a point of telling me how his sister and him grinded up against one another dancing, (I know, sick puppy--although I think I am the sickest one for putting up with it.), and I have witnessed the two of them flirting with one another, and he tells me I am the dirty minded one for thinking such thoughts because she is his "sister". And I could go on and on....
That to me is the best example of mixed signals I can give based on my own experiences. I know that it is my bad because I chose to put up with it, fell in love with the wrong person, and am now trying very hard to work on my self esteem issues so that I will never allow myself to put up with this kind of treatment --ever. Why men get involved with someone when they clearly are players and have such a blatant interest in other women is beyond me.
Whew! Too much info, probably. Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, OP, but I do feel better.
All the situations I remember where we both agreed that friendship was the most valuable thing of all, but benefits would be nice too... Guy gets his "benefit" on... Friendship over within days. Either he is *poof* "been there, got what I wanted" or else he is puppy-puppy lovey clingy. No middle ground, no going on as friends. I think it's a dynamic that just can't really work, no matter how much anyone might want it to.
Mixed signals in my marriage.... Husband wants me. Sets up an improbable scenario, works out this elaborate plan in his head, but arranges it in such a way as to self-sabotage, gets seriously bent and mopey afterwards to the point where we have to "talk about it" and when it gets that dramatic I'm not interested until it blows over. A more precise example... We have friends over most weekends, and this one was no exception. I was out in the garage smoking cigs and chit-chatting (as I like to do with our friends) and he vanished into our bedroom and closed the door at like 8PM. Sometimes he does go to sleep early, so I assumed he had gone to bed and closed the door to shut out the noise since our teenagers were still up and our friends were still around. Turns out, he'd gone in there to lurk and wait in the hopes that I'd come in "at some point, at least to use the bathroom or something" and he'd pounce on me and get some action. Zero communication to me. I thought he was sleeping and avoided disturbing him, he was sitting in there getting more and more disturbed.
Now we have at least a day or 2 where he's going to go on and on about how he "made himself vulnerable and got let down." Am I supposed to be a psychic? It feels to me like he set the whole thing up to give himself license to wallow in self pity. I'm not interested in these games.
Mixed signals or NO signals, I don't even know anymore.
People are stupid complicated, and relationships are dumb. Ugh.
you often hear men/women alike say "He/She is giving me mixed messages.." commonly when you are pursuing someone
what are some examples where the opposite sex does something that frustrates you?
since we may not be aware of things we are doing the point of this thread is to help correct these behaviors
Go!
I get crushes, sometimes...and I think men can sense how I am into them, because one day they'll will see me out and about and want to chat and hug and tell me a joke or two, flirty...plenty of eye contact and then maybe a couple weeks later I'll see them somewhere and they may do a fake little red carpet wave, a little smile, and keep it moving.
THAT's a mixed signal.
When a man asks for your phone number, waits a week or two to use it, the two of you talk on the phone briefly...some mention of made of getting together (he initiates), but the plans don't gel. It's confusing when a man talks as if he wants to take you out, and then doesn't bother to follow up with an offer to actually TAKE you out. Look, I'm old fashioned. I'm not going to beg you. I will be approachable, I will be open to an offer of a date. But that is as far as I'm going. If he follows the traditional male dating ritual (asks for your number, calls, and then begins to talk about wanting to ask you on a date) then he needs to follow up with the date he is appearing to offer.
all good examples of mixed signals. essentially you read the body language to say one thing, yet what is said verbally is something different. also conflicting actions are an example of mixed signals.
you often hear men/women alike say "He/She is giving me mixed messages.." commonly when you are pursuing someone
what are some examples where the opposite sex does something that frustrates you?
since we may not be aware of things we are doing the point of this thread is to help correct these behaviors
Go!
When they contact you, vanish, contact you, vanish and so forth.
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