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Location: At the end of the road, where the trail begins.
760 posts, read 2,440,980 times
Reputation: 353
You originally posted this in the Michigan board so I'm going to assume that's where you are at. Take the advice of the others. Leave the guy! You are NOT responsible for him. No court in Michigan will award him custody of your kid. The only way it might even be an issue is if YOU have a felony. If you don't, you have nothing to fear.
Leave him. You'll not only be doing yourself a favor but you'll be doing your child a favor!
Definitely explain to the court about the drugs and such and ask for supervised visits. They may require drug testing for him to get to take the child for weekend visits and if he can't pass them............... more luck to you!
Threats of suicide is the oldest trick in the book by a weak person attempting to control someone else. Don't fall for it.
Just take the clothes on your back if you have to, your child and GO. When you go back to get the rest of the stuff, make sure you have at least two other adults with you who can act as witnesses in case your soon to be ex tries to pull any crap.
Best of luck to you.
Dont not let him control your life.. .that baby is not just his.. he cant just take custody... and most likely they would not give him full custody without reason. for you, you have penty.. I would go to court and share this with the jury.. Since your boyfriend has a few metical problems and was threating you and almost posstive that the courts wouldnt separate you with your child..
it will be ok... just take it easy and take of your child till you decide what you want to do
I don't think that I saw this problem, if he is smoking it he may be selling it and if he is busted then your child will go into protective custody and you will be under the orders of the court for steps to reclaim your child and then you will have a record affecting you the rest of your life, imagine your child as an adult asking you why did you not protect me mom? Get out of the house now, now, now, call the local hospital, they will direct you to a shelter, stay there so your family will be safe from him because it will be much worse before it gets better, god bless you,
God as my witness, I will never understand, why a young woman, needs a man to take care of them so much, they will settle for anything, and then have a baby with him???????
Girl, get outa there and get some counseling and DO NOT DATE ANYONE until you find out why you accepted so little from men...b/c there has to be problems in your back ground....and as someone else said, your child comes first and foremost...not you, not anyone, so I suggest you get to counseling, and lay all the cards out on the table so that you can be the best mom you possibley can be. Go to Parenting Classes.....
thanks for all the advise.....I guess I am just scared that he will find a lawyer that will play dirty and take my child .... even though there is no way he can prove me unfit in anyway... I provide for , care for , and love my child ..... as a matter of fact I go to work and I work 6 to 8 hours a day and as soon as I walk in the door he tells me that I am home now so I can take care for the baby now .... His job is done....
I would also be very very wary about leaving my baby with him during the day. You know he is using drugs...how can he take care of the baby properly? Please find other child care NOW.
I have been living with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years we had a child 14 months ago. I no longer want to live with him for the following reasons ... he will not try to get a job ,he treats me like crap, he talks to other girls on the computer and the phone and he doesn't hide it when he does it. He claims he needs to smoke pot because it calms his nerves. When we first got together I really thought we might get married and when we had a child together I made the mistake of giving her his last name and I put his name on the birth certificate. We will never get married . I don't love him anymore. When I said I was going to leave him ... he threaten me "fine go ahead if you never want to see you baby again" he said he would get a laywer and get custudy of our child. Is there any way he can do this to me ? I am the one that works and supports us ... He gets SSI for autism and other mental problems . He also saids he needs to smoke pot . I don't want our child in this situation anymore I am tried of it..... but I am scared I will never see my child again if I try to move ... what should I do??
Get out. Get out, get out, get out. He is a worthless piece of lazy trash and your child deserves better. Take what you can, take your kid, and disappear.
It is time to go. for your and the childs best interest. If you seek the safety of a shelter, family, or friends or even your own place , just do it. I suggest a change of address to a PO box then be careful he is not around when you go there. Explain to your employer the situation and let it be known that He does not have a part in your life. If you can be transfered...better... Make sure your childs school is aware as well. I would seek sole custody. Be careful, don't under estimate him. vary your schedule, do things with others present. Alter your patterns of what you do.
Start a new life that is good for you. You deserve to be happy. BTW... if he is capable of work and not working I'm sure SSI would like to know that... it might keep him busy working on his life than dealing with yours.
Good Luck
I think you should go to your parents house. I don't think you should leave your family and friends unless you feel you or your child are not safe. This is a hard time for you. You will need family and friends to lean on if necessary, don't shut them out if you don't have to. It sounds like he's a deadbeat for sure....I agree that he won't get custody. But given the fact he is a drug user I would only agree to supervised visitation by a third party. A judge is going to understand why you left...you won't be in danger of losing your child. Just pack up and go. Write every conversation you ever have with him down. Write down everything. This is very important. Every time there is any kind of contact at all - phone - on the street- whatever - write it down. "saw John in store at 2pm, said nothing...left quickly." "John called today - he wants to see Jr. - I said no because I could tell he was high and I want to wait for the courts to decide when he can visit - he yelled and told me he was going to kill himself. I hung up"
You just need to document everything. Don't leave your family and friends though....unless you feel unsafe - you will need all the support you can get. Being a single parent isn't easy...but it can also be the very best thing that ever happens to you. Stay strong girl....you can do it. You'll be ok.
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