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GKelly, that was a big issue in my relation. "What are we?" She was revolted by the term Girlfriend deeming it juvenile and I agree it is to an extent. Then I'd innocently refer to us as being "together" and she would squirm or squee. She did accept my marriage proposal...
I went out with a guy on Valentine's day who had been pursuing me for months. But he graduated and moved to NYC so we never went out. He constantly told me he liked me but the distance was a deterrent. We finally went on a date Vday and I spent the night.
I regretted if after because I always make the mistake of sleeping with guys way too soon and figured that if he only wanted sex he wouldn't keep in touch. He texted me every day after that, even though he's a lawyer and works 24/7. Things were going well until one day I asked what I was to him. He replied asking me what I wanted to be, so I was honest and said I wanted a relationship, which is no news to him since we had already talked about this (he said he was open to seeing how things went with us so I didn't take him too seriously back then). He proceeded to ask what he was to me and I replied saying he was a potential boyfriend. I never got a reply.
He continued sending me snapchats daily, so we kept in touch that way. I told him I missed him a couple of times and he didn't reply. I figured this would probably go nowhere and started keeping less and less in touch. A couple of weeks while I was out at a party we texted and he asked when I'd be visiting, so I said maybe spring break since I'll be in the area, he said he missed me and called me out for being distant, but then his non-responsiveness continued.
We haven't talked much in the past week, and spring break starts in 2 days. I've made up my mind that I won't pursue anything with him because I just don't see that he's too interested in making it work. I'm just curious as to why so many guys act like this?
Sounds like he just wanted sex and companionship for the day. Some people are sleazy liars, especially lawyers. You just have to learn to beat them to the punch. Could save you a world of drama.
I guess I'll give a bit more information. We've been in contact since lat summer and he expressed interest in me but I was in a relationship. Later on when I was single he tried asking me out again but by this time he had moved, I'm still in college. I was really skeptical having just gone through a bad breakup. He said he wanted to date me and would if I gave him a chance. We went back and forth for a while then lost touch.
In the week before our date he mentioned being excited and saying he'd make it a romantic dinner and how happy he was I was giving him a chance. I told him I wasn't looking for a one night stand and he said he wasn't either, and before we had sex I asked if that was all he wanted and he said no. Obviously he could have been lying then to get in my pants, and I knew what I was getting into. The thing is the sexual tension build up so much over the time we were in contact it was something we both wanted, I don't regret it.
We also had lunch the next day without any sex involved and he mentioned visiting my school with friends and asked if he could stay with me. I said yes but didn't take it too seriously, but he brought it up again about 4 weeks ago, asking me to visit since he wouldn't see me until April when he comes up.
I should also mentioned he's said he has trouble picking up social cues and I do notice his social skills need work. I just don't know if he actually is interested and has trouble communicating or if he's just faking it for the sex. I'm dating other people and he's aware and has expressed jealousy over this but haven't paid it any mind since there is no commitment involved.
But I agree with a lot of you in this being a waste of time, and I think the distance makes it even harder. I'm about to graduate and moving to NYC after
The harsh truth is he wasn't willing to verbally commit to being in a relationship with you given that you two have only been together once. Also, the sex wasn't good enough for him to take time away from his regular schedule to come pay you a visit.
He also sounds very arrogant to say you're being distant = keep chasing me, I love the attention.
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