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If it is "every now and then", then its a non issue.
^^^ This. If she makes healthy choices 6 days a week, that's awesome.
OP, gotta ask why you're so invested in her weight loss that you view it as such a negative if she indulges every so often. I'm no fitness guru, but the fastest way to fail is to deny yourself everything you enjoy, IMO.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
^^^ This. If she makes healthy choices 6 days a week, that's awesome.
OP, gotta ask why you're so invested in her weight loss that you view it as such a negative if she indulges every so often. I'm no fitness guru, but the fastest way to fail is to deny yourself everything you enjoy, IMO.
I did one of those calorie tracker app things for a few months, and it is true you can eat well for 6 days a week and be on a good target, and one or two meals on a Saturday night can put you back to zero gain for the week... but damn, if you can't cut loose and relax that junk for a day here, or a day there, you're going to likely be stressed, bored, and not fun to be around. Life needs to be lived.
^^^ This. If she makes healthy choices 6 days a week, that's awesome.
OP, gotta ask why you're so invested in her weight loss that you view it as such a negative if she indulges every so often. I'm no fitness guru, but the fastest way to fail is to deny yourself everything you enjoy, IMO.
Please show me where I said I have a problem with her indulging every now and then. I've never said she should eat a strict diet 7 days a week. That's unrealistic. In fact, I've encouraged her to break from her diet when the weekend rolls around. But there's a big difference between ordering the burger or pizza you've been craving and knocking back 4 or 5 drinks loaded with sugar and alcohol. The former can help you satisfy a craving, but maybe only cancel out a day's worth of healthy eating. The latter can easily cancel out a week's worth of effort. As for why her weight loss is important to me, that's simple. Because it's important to her. She was trying to lose weight before I started dating her. It's even more important to her now because the extra weight is affecting her health. What she needs and wants is support from those around her. She gets that from me, her family, and a few of her friends. But the others, who aren't concerned with their own weight, don't seem to understand or care how they're undermining her. I've seen it firsthand. My GF will announce that she needs to lose weight, but her friend will then say "it's OK if you order another Cosmo even though you've already had three." I never stop my GF from ordering what she wants. But I won't suggest she have yet another calorie bomb. Her friends don't seem to care that she wants to lose weight. They're more concerned with having her around as a drinking buddy.
Please show me where I said I have a problem with her indulging every now and then. I've never said she should eat a strict diet 7 days a week. That's unrealistic. In fact, I've encouraged her to break from her diet when the weekend rolls around. But there's a big difference between ordering the burger or pizza you've been craving and knocking back 4 or 5 drinks loaded with sugar and alcohol. The former can help you satisfy a craving, but maybe only cancel out a day's worth of healthy eating. The latter can easily cancel out a week's worth of effort. As for why her weight loss is important to me, that's simple. Because it's important to her. She was trying to lose weight before I started dating her. It's even more important to her now because the extra weight is affecting her health. What she needs and wants is support from those around her. She gets that from me, her family, and a few of her friends. But the others, who aren't concerned with their own weight, don't seem to understand or care how they're undermining her. I've seen it firsthand. My GF will announce that she needs to lose weight, but her friend will then say "it's OK if you order another Cosmo even though you've already had three." I never stop my GF from ordering what she wants. But I won't suggest she have yet another calorie bomb. Her friends don't seem to care that she wants to lose weight. They're more concerned with having her around as a drinking buddy.
Your girlfriend is grown up ass woman and she can make her own choices.
If you do not like her lifestyle choices , you can leave anytime.
Peer pressure? Aren't most people immune to that once they get very far into adulthood?
No.
We are all shaped by the world we surround oursleves with. Even you.
That is kind of the whole point in making young folk aware of what peer pressure is to begin with.
Somwhere along the line that changed to less about trying to instill understanding and more about fearing repercussions...but that's another topic.
OP, I would tell my SO my concerns as they related to our realtionship and express my worry allowing influences that go against what she is trying to achieve might have on her.
That is all you can do. She will make her own choices based on who she is.
Last edited by rego00123; 04-06-2015 at 03:51 PM..
No. We are all shaped by the world we surround oursleves with. Even you.
That is kind of the whole point in making young folk aware of what peer pressure is to begin with.
Somwhere along the line that changed to less about trying to instill understanding and more about fearing repercussions...but that's another topic.
OP, I would tell my SO my concerns as they related to our realtionship and express my worry allowing influences that go against what she is trying to achieve might have on her.
That is all you can do. She will make her own choices based on who she is.
How do his concerns relate to the relationship? I didn't get from his posts that they don't get along.
The important point with the bolded is that we're free to shape our world. We're free to choose who we surround ourselves with. She has a choice about whether she wants to keep hanging with the same friends, or maybe dial back the frequency. She can also clue them in to her medical situation, and stand her ground. If she did that. she could end up being the one to shape them. She could be a leader instead of a follower. She has a ton of choices as to how she handles this. She doesn't have to be a passive, go-with-the-flow type of person. From what the OP has said, it sounds like she'll get it together to do something to take better care of herself with time. Her awareness seems to be moving in that direction.
Taking a stand could be a personal growth issue for her. Sounds like she's not used to asserting herself. Maybe she hasn't matured into that, yet. She knows what she needs to do, she just has to muster the ego-strength to do that.
How do his concerns relate to the relationship? I didn't get from his posts that they don't get along.
The important point with the bolded is that we're free to shape our world. We're free to choose who we surround ourselves with. She has a choice about whether she wants to keep hanging with the same friends, or maybe dial back the frequency. She can also clue them in to her medical situation, and stand her ground. If she did that. she could end up being the one to shape them. She has a ton of choices as to how she handles this. She doesn't have to be a passive, go-with-the-flow type of person. From what the OP has said, it sounds like she'll get it together to do something to take better care of herself with time. Her awareness seems to be moving in that direction.
That was me politely telling him to keep demands and perosnal feelings out unless it affects them as a couple.
Discussion hurts no one. If he feels like this is worthy of some open air, go for it. Just don't place demands on your relationship with her as a tool to save yourself some anxiety.
lol So much for independent thinking. Please speak for yourself.
Just because you're influenced by people around you doesn't mean you're incapable of independent thinking. If you listen to the advice of your parents or your close friends, does that mean you're no longer thinking for yourself? Of course not. The issue is whose advice do you follow. It's easy to tune out bad advice when it's coming from one person. It's a lot harder when it's several at a time.
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