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I think I was 31 when I finished. I did undergrad, then worked for a number of years, established residency, went part time for a couple of years then full time the last year. So, yeah, 31 when I finished my masters. Got a pretty decent job fairly soon.
But despite being able to date with relative ease throughout my 30s (yeah, it was WAY better than my 20s), there was never, ever anyone throwing themselves at me. Just doesn't happen with dudes, or not 90% of us.
Well, maybe 'hitting on' would be a more accurate phrase than 'throwing themselves at you'.
I think most people very much doubt the sincerity of his being happy and content if he felt the need to go to an anonymous forum and seek validation from others on his decisions.
Point taken.
But as participants on an anonymous forum we have nothing else to go by. Personally, I have my own issues and have also found useful information from anonymous people online. I have been truthful in my situations and (filtered of course) people's responses have seemed to be with good intent. It is helpful to gain perspective from a community of people that have no real ties to your personal life.... as family (and friends) can be ever so more judgmental. At least for me, validation can be helpful... even if from places online such as this forum.
As such, I'm more inclined to believe the posters sincerity as I have.
But isn't that what he is doing? He is making a conscious choice to be happy and content. His needs may change later in life... but that's fine too. He can choose a different path later. If a woman sees him and accepts him for who he is, she will make an effort to make emotional contact as well. Which is fine as well.
If he made these choices further damage his quality of life, then that's a different matter.
As a side note: Telling someone dealing with mental health issues with notions of "deal with it", "just do it", and "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" is rarely helpful. It's empty advice. But I will agree (and speaking out of experience)! Doctors over prescribe these very dangerous (and complex) drugs as a false panacea for these type of problems. People should still seek help but be wary when a therapist immediately starts writing scripts. When I first found CD, I found the mental health forum here very informative. Its a place to start.
no that is not what he is doing. right now he is just going through the motions of life, slinking off into the corner whenever he has a little anxiety because a girl happens near by. this is not taking life by the horns.
what he needs to do is start talking to these girls, get to know them, and realize that nothing bad is going to happen as a result. the large majority of anxiety issues do not need drugs or some pencil necked geek who couldnt be a real doctor asking him about his childhood, and telling him that he loves his dog and hates his parents or what ever they do. most anxiety issues are based in fear, often times irrational, and usually due to the mind moving too fast to think clearly.
he needs to start living in the moment, and he needs to start slowing his mind down and start thinking clearly. he needs to see the real world around him, not some evil construct that is floating around in his mind.
OP you know yourself better then anyone else here. After all none of us have met you so if you say you're content with your life then you are. I'm not going to try to desperately read extras into it like some of the other posters here who are telling what to think and how you should feel.
Well that's usually the answer in these situations. Some people are just terrified to live and take some tiny risk.
What is the point of existing on this planet, if you hide in a closet your whole life? He's completely crippled by fear and he hasn't been living a full life.
Well that's usually the answer in these situations. Some people are just terrified to live and take some tiny risk.
What is the point of existing on this planet, if you hide in a closet your whole life? He's completely crippled by fear and he hasn't been living a full life.
And there is a simple answer.
Who are YOU to say he hasn't lived a full life? Explain this to me. Why are you or anyone else the authority on how others live THEIR lives? This is a common problem I've noticed on these threads. People are constantly telling others how they should live their lives.
* Should anyone else define my life? What it means to you as taking life by the horns?
* Everyone has some fears and anxieties. The key question to ask yourself is whether or not it is impacting your quality of life. Are you happy with your decision?
Don't let the last few posts make you feel like the people here know what is best for you... better than you.
I wish you luck.
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