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Well, I think it would be very brave for any guy to show off their moves; regardless if it's horrible or not. It let's me know you're outgoing, confident and unique. Most "parties" I went to, hardly anybody danced (both guys and girls)! It seemed like me and a small group of friends were the only ones dancing. I can teach a bad dancer how to dance; no worries.
I'm going to tell you something that will change your relationship.....if your wife loves to dance, take dancing lessons....like those Arthur Murray classes. The effort will be repaid with great dividends.....Learn it all, make it a weekly date night...
You said "bad" so I'll answer for bad even though you said you did okay.
I wouldn't be the FIRST person on the dance floor if you're bad, more of a lose your self in the crowd so no one really notices kinda thing.
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As long as he's confident and has a fun attitude about it, I don't think it matters to most people if he's a bad dancer or not. Being a good dancer may earn him a few bonus points to some women, but if he's crappy in other more important areas of life, his dancing skills ain't gonna mean jack. Unless he's doing it as part of his job or a competition or something, the reason most people go out to dance is to loosen up, have fun with others, and temporarily "let go" and not give a rip. It's just a fun social activity for them to do. That's all. Not taking life so seriously all the time is an attractive trait for many men and women. The guy who's not afraid to just get out there and "go for it" and look silly (but at the same time doesn't try too hard and doesn't try to arrogantly steal the spotlight) is going to attract positive attention and he's going to be endearing to many people.
Shying away from the dance floor because he feels he's a terrible dancer (or for any other reason) is what's going to turn off a lot of women. Fear is unattractive, especially in men. People who are overly risk-averse are often viewed as boring, and obviously "boring" is unlikely to be an attractive trait. They don't seem to realize that most people won't really care. Learn to lighten up and live a little.
To the poster who mentioned that dancing "comes naturally to women"....err, no. If anything, dancing is more likely to be ingrained in individuals who grew up in households where dancing and music was a common occurrence.
Anyone (unless they're disabled I suppose) with a sense of rhythm can learn to dance, but it's essential that the person be able to get outside of his own head and try to just be "in the moment". Don't think, just feel the beat. That said, "sense of rhythm" may be more of a "either you got it or you don't" talent thing...I'm not sure if that can be taught. Kind of like hand-eye and body coordination.
Women (in general) love to dance, and seem to like a man who can dance. At least my wife does. I've become an OK dancer but nothing great.
Poll time.
If a guy is just an absolutely horrible dancer, but he dances anyway, is it a positive in that he's making the effort and putting himself out there, or does him being a bad dancer turn you off to the point it overrides any benefit from him putting himself out there?
Depends. if we're slow dancing and he's stepping on my feet, then no the effort means nothing-I think of Lucy trying to teach a teenager to dance, and by the end, she had to soak her feet. lol
If he likes to dance however, I wouldn't have anything to say because I, myself, don't dance. Least not since I was 8. So I wouldn't have merit to say anything. He's dancing would probably still be better than mine.
So ultimately, it'd be something I tolerated. Don't like it, but I also don't think it means he shouldn't dance if he wants to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Yeah I can't dance myself so it doesn't matter.
Slow dances I can do. I wouldn't want him to go out and make a scene where everyone is laughing at him unless he wants to be entertainment.
If he still likes to dance I would let him have it...I wouldn't be out there with him though lol.
Saying this all from the perspective of a male:
Hmm, interesting (from a purely psychological/cultural/sociological perspective). Two females who do not get into dancing. This isn't stated here as any kind of critique or value judgement AT ALL about these statements of each of you. It is just interesting to me on a purely intellectual level. I have absolutely no value judgment whatsoever about the merits or demerits or desirability of dancing (in terms of how we will be perceived by others). It is just interesting that, in 60-something years of living thus far, it is quite rare for me to encounter females stating outright that they are not into dancing. Over the course of time, it seemed to me to be nearly innate to being a female (seemingly across all cultures) to be into or at least amenable to engaging in dancing (even my late mother, who, for all intents and purposes, I came to view as being asexual, liked dancing and all the aunts and grandmothers too . . . even those who were orthodox religious). And I've seen Muslim women and Persian/Iranian women dancing and elder native Chinese women from mainland China dancing and so on and so on with a multitude of other examples. And I seen even quite obese women dancing up a storm. It seemed (to my intellectual mind) that it must be innate to being female to be inclined to dance and to value dancing. It's good to know that there is more variety in the female half of humanity and that women are quite all quite cut from the same mold. I do not look at a woman as less desirable because she is not really into dancing.
As to Aureliea: At some point in the near past, I had taken a peek at your C-D profile (liking your mind and things you'd said in various C-D threads) and saw your self-posted photograph. You are quite a beautiful woman. I'd be thrilled to have a woman as lovely as you. It's interesting on a purely intellectual level that you do not get into the phenomenon of dancing like seemingly so many of your fellow females (not that I do so myself as a way-of-life or even actively pursue it even irregularly). I have, at very select times over the course of the decades at certain venues or events, joined in with dancing on the dance floor and just tried to not be self-conscious or too self-conscious about it and it apparently went over well enough. For instance, I'd done it at a first cousin's wedding in the early-to-mid 1980s and some woman I'd met and hung out with a few times wanted to go that evening to a dance event/club at a local Holiday Inn on the spur of the moment and, just to be agreeable and social with her, I just psyched myself up for it on the way there and did have a fun time. Though I still am never one who willfully seeks on his own to go out to dance. I have a million-and-one other interests, hobbies, and pastimes in life and dancing hardly registers on my interest radar. Though I have to admit that, at times, watching other skilled professional dancers dance on TV or in movies or in online videos (e.g., Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, John Travolta, Debbie Allen, Fred Astaire, etc. etc. etc.), at times it seemed that I felt, watching them, that maybe I should take dance lessons to be even more adept and comfortable with it and that it might open up a whole social dimension for me. But I would be just as pleased with a good woman who wasn't into dancing or at least not as a way-of-life. And it is the case that I don't feel the need to prove my sexual or affectional prowess or comfort with his own body and self to the women of the world by demonstrating all my great moves and what a great dancer I am. I can handle myself on the couch and in bed just fine (thank you very much).
The difference between a good dancer and a bad one is merely inhibition really. If you're confident in who you are, just don't give a rip, and walk out their and own it, you can very easily be "perceived" as being a good dancer. When's the last time you saw a bad confident dancer (minus people over 60)? That was a joke but I assume most folks are like me and perceive confident people, no matter their age, as good dancers. I just like to see people enjoying themselves
It's not until I started traveling for work that I learned generally guys didn't dance! There must have been something in the water back home because it was no joke 70% guys to 30% women growing up. Guys HAD to dance, HAD to peacock to even get a glance.
The bolded statement of yours (in your quote) is very true, even though I still don't actively seek on my own to go out dancing (as I have so many many OTHER interests, hobbies and pastimes). But when I have let myself engage in dancing at certain events or venues (such as at a wedding), the key to whenever I pulled it off well was to train my mind to not be self-conscious and to just "go with the flow". We can ALL be natural and adept dancers if we are not self-inhibited and let the music consume our whole being and take hold of us. Just watch Christopher Walken dance in varied videos and movies. Wholly uninhibited and just watching him makes a non-dancer like me want to dance. He is just pure joy to watch.
I'm surprised at a few of the answers here. Dancing is supposed to be FUN and who cares if you are good at it or not!
I usually do what I call "wake-up movement" just after getting up for the day (while coffee is brewing etc.) and more often than not, it is dancing around my TV room to songs like "Maniac" ... come on, how fun does that sound?
If anyone were to stop by my house when I was in the middle of dancing, I would immediately ask them to join me and I bet we would have a blast!
I'm Mexican all mexican should know how to dance cumbias and ranchero music! guess what... I hate all of that I love rock and the blues!....I'm different deal with it! sucka! or move on
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