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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,030,437 times
Reputation: 2304
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Good evening all,
I know that sometimes this "situation" can be far too uncommon. But I'm finding that sometimes it happens within the circles I run with. I'm a graduate student getting my Master's in Education & a full-time schoolteacher as well & my husband is currently pursuing his Associate's as a PTA (Physical Therapist Assistant). It is a 2 year program. He has always done shift jobs & is a hard worker, but he is very focused & has become a full time student in the past year. We have been married going on three years, but it has been a journey this year b/c he became a full-time student.
We saved enough money for him to go to school full-time, but I will admit that it is difficult living on one-income, we live in a small apartment, so we do pay rent, etc.
We have downsized, (decided against getting a dog, cut out small roadtrips/local vacations) He has insisted on working weekends, but really I have been the one to encourage him to go full-time so he can finish faster. He is appreciative & NOT a moocher at all.
Furthermore, I am sometimes so exhausted b/c I do all the cooking, cleaning, (he cleans the bathroom), not to mention working & going to class twice a night. We don't have children yet, but we are thinking of trying when he is in the program. I am 26, almost 27 years old. He is in his mid-30s.
Can any other ladies relate?
PS-I'm sorry if there is already a thread on this matter.
Not exactly the same, but when I was in med school/residency, my ex had a regular joe job and still couldn't manage to help run the house efficiently and without creating more chaos and work for me. 100+ hours of work per week for me and THEN still had to deal with the house/dog/etc.
So I dumped her ass.
Sorry. Don't know why people put up with others who don't pull their own weight.
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,030,437 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Not exactly the same, but when I was in med school/residency, my ex had a regular joe job and still couldn't manage to help run the house efficiently and without creating more chaos and work for me. 100+ hours of work per week for me and THEN still had to deal with the house/dog/etc.
So I dumped her ass.
Sorry. Don't know why people put up with others who don't pull their own weight.
I think there is an evident double standard when a man goes back to school to improve himself vs when a woman goes back to school to improve herself. Maybe b/c women are traditionally meant to keep the house in order, cook, care for children, etc. etc. That's not the case with my husband & I. He has worked the entire time we have been together except for since January 2015.
Ok this is random but....mods, can you take "Darling" out of my title? lol, I accidentally pressed enter but didn't mean for it to be there....
My husband gave me his GI Bill so that I could get my master's degree (he already has his). So he's putting his darling wife through school by virtue of his military service. I go full-time, in order to get the most out of the GI Bill provisions. We own a home, are living on one income plus my stipend, and have a baby on the way, but our budget is met.
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,030,437 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
My husband gave me his GI Bill so that I could get my master's degree (he already has his). So he's putting his darling wife through school by virtue of his military service. I go full-time, in order to get the most out of the GI Bill provisions. We own a home, are living on one income plus my stipend, and have a baby on the way, but our budget is met.
Good to know it's working out for you TabulaRasa , but are there any women who are putting their husbands through school or have put their husbands through school & had a successful result?
OP, you're looking for personal approval for your sacrifices and/or a disapproval of your husband's household performance. That's known as "keeping score".
How on earth will this help your relationship? The only way to solve this is between you and your man.
Furthermore, I am sometimes so exhausted b/c I do all the cooking, cleaning, (he cleans the bathroom), not to mention working & going to class twice a night. We don't have children yet, but we are thinking of trying when he is in the program. I am 26, almost 27 years old. He is in his mid-30s.
Can any other ladies relate?
PS-I'm sorry if there is already a thread on this matter.
Wait, what? You're going to school, + working full time, + doing all the cooking & cleaning (xcept bathroom), which leaves you exhausted, AND on top of all that, you want to have a pregnancy and a baby to raise?
I must be missing something here. Please clarify this.
If you are going to keep score you need to start getting paper plates. If there are no kids involved and people aren't coming over they work a lot better than giving each other cross looks at a pile of plates sitting in the sink. All that said that when the situation dictates and no kids are involved your standards need to be able to swing a little bit.
I think there is an evident double standard when a man goes back to school to improve himself vs when a woman goes back to school to improve herself. Maybe b/c women are traditionally meant to keep the house in order, cook, care for children, etc. etc. That's not the case with my husband & I. He has worked the entire time we have been together except for since January 2015.
Ok this is random but....mods, can you take "Darling" out of my title? lol, I accidentally pressed enter but didn't mean for it to be there....
We are both women.
I wouldn't have put up with that from a man, either.
No reason at all that he cannot help, cook, clean (more than the bathroom), laundry and do homework and attend class.
He does not do these things because he does not have to do these things because you allow him to not do these things.
Quit allowing him to not do these things, he is your "partner" not your toddler and he can do at least half of everything in the home.
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, but are there any women who are putting their husbands through school or have put their husbands through school & had a successful result?
