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Especially when it involves talking about feelings or trying to resolve a conflict in a respect and tender manner with a significant other. On one hand, being open and honest is something couples in a relationship should strive do to help form a bond and keep their relationship healthy. On the other hand, it can backfire on males in a heteosexual relationship since a lot of people stereotype males to be stoic and guarded while females are stereotyped as being tender. It can even get damaging to the point that people believe males should be emotionless and that females run on emotions.
Thoughts? Have stereotypical and traditional thoughts about gender and openness ever made an impact on your dating/relationship life?
***This is not meant to be a gender bashing topic or one where people come in here to argue about gender expectations***
I am SO TIRED of men who think being manly means never showing feelings, expressing emotions, talking things out, never letting someone in, etc. It's lame, lame, lame. You are a human being, you have feelings, you need to share yours and be sensitive to mine. If I wanted to be with a rock, I'd be with a damn rock.
OP- you just need to find the right person who will respect you as a man and as a human being and doesn't expect you to conform to some ridiculous, outdated gender role.
Especially when it involves talking about feelings or trying to resolve a conflict in a respect and tender manner with a significant other.
Thoughts? Have stereotypical and traditional thoughts about gender and openness ever made an impact on your dating/relationship life?
I am very good at communicating my thoughts/ feelings and I prefer to be with a man who can communicate his feelings as well. My previous relationship suffered tremendously because of his inability to be vulnerable with me. I'm not an emotional weakling: I've been taking care of myself emotionally for my whole life. But once I've establish a relationship with someone, I want to be able to let my guard down once in a while.
I've never used a man's vulnerability against him, either. That would just be cruel.
Especially when it involves talking about feelings or trying to resolve a conflict in a respect and tender manner with a significant other. On one hand, being open and honest is something couples in a relationship should strive do to help form a bond and keep their relationship healthy. On the other hand, it can backfire on males in a heteosexual relationship since a lot of people stereotype males to be stoic and guarded while females are stereotyped as being tender. It can even get damaging to the point that people believe males should be emotionless and that females run on emotions.
Thoughts? Have stereotypical and traditional thoughts about gender and openness ever made an impact on your dating/relationship life?
***This is not meant to be a gender bashing topic or one where people come in here to argue about gender expectations***
Unfortunately, it COULD backfire. But each woman is different. Some like tender. So you just have to make sure to find out which kind yours is.
I like it when a guy shares his feelings. But there is a fine line. If he crosses it, he will start to seem less admirable (I guess this comes from being drawn to strength)
It's like someone else told me: my girlfriend is so comfortable with me that she told me that she ate so much that she was waddling...(like a duck) (that is not an image you want to give to your guy... that's inappropriate over sharing) I don't know if all women know this, but guys also hate when we talk about pads...
Especially when it involves talking about feelings or trying to resolve a conflict in a respect and tender manner with a significant other. On one hand, being open and honest is something couples in a relationship should strive do to help form a bond and keep their relationship healthy. On the other hand, it can backfire on males in a heteosexual relationship since a lot of people stereotype males to be stoic and guarded while females are stereotyped as being tender. It can even get damaging to the point that people believe males should be emotionless and that females run on emotions.
Thoughts? Have stereotypical and traditional thoughts about gender and openness ever made an impact on your dating/relationship life?
***This is not meant to be a gender bashing topic or one where people come in here to argue about gender expectations***
You answered your own question. You said wearing the macho straighjacket can be damaging. So why go along with it? Why do you care about the stereotypes? The main thing is what you need to do to be comfortable with *you*, and how your partner feels about it, too. IME most women these days like the guys who show a tender side. "Help form a bond and keep the relationship healthy". You said it right there.
So ask yourself why are you questioning what you know is right for you. It sounds like you know what you need, but you're letting people or "society" mess with your mind. Block that flack out, and you'll be a lot happier and confident. Personally, I'm so glad the days of the macho straightjacket are over. We can all be happier, healthier and mellower now. John Wayne is dead. And he's dead for a reason, lol.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octa
Especially when it involves talking about feelings or trying to resolve a conflict in a respect and tender manner with a significant other. On one hand, being open and honest is something couples in a relationship should strive do to help form a bond and keep their relationship healthy. On the other hand, it can backfire on males in a heteosexual relationship since a lot of people stereotype males to be stoic and guarded while females are stereotyped as being tender. It can even get damaging to the point that people believe males should be emotionless and that females run on emotions.
Thoughts? Have stereotypical and traditional thoughts about gender and openness ever made an impact on your dating/relationship life?
***This is not meant to be a gender bashing topic or one where people come in here to argue about gender expectations***
I admit I'm a very closed off person because being open has brought me nothing but trouble. I won't open up to you unless you've proven I can trust you which will take a while. Men by nature are not vulnerable because it is the ultimate sign of weakness and gets you into trouble real fast.
I've always been very open about my feelings and if there is something bothering me I'll express that. However, it is a fine line as has been mentioned. Some women I have been with are very receptive, others not so much.
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