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Did you talk with her at all about it before proposing? Or did you mostly keep the proposal as a "surprise?"
I could be wrong but I get the impression that you and her did not have some serious discussions about marriage ahead of time, nor did you really map this thing out before the proposal. If thats true, and you just popped the question after you did your own due dilligence, then when did you expect her to do it herself.
Oh yes I did talk about getting married to her and about that I did speak with family and friends and they told me that I should marry her because she is a wonderful person for me. Yes!!! Yes!! And final yes she knew about my talks prior to asking the question . So quit making me to be the bad person here
I am guessing you are not of the American culture. Where are you from?
This is starting to sound like a major cultural difference issue. Because normal nice American guys do not sound like you at all.
Good God, Ladies, Lol. Show a little bit of sympathy towards the oversensitive insecure guy. Give him some constructive solutions instead of insults. no? ok, carry on
Did you speak with HER family and friends prior to proposing? Had they known it was coming, maybe they could have done any due diligence beforehand, like you would apparently have preferred.
I don't understand the outrage, then. If they like you and have welcomed you into their family, why is it so offensive for her sister to do what any loving sibling would do? You could be the warmest, most amazing guy in the world, and she'd still be asking her sister if she is sure about marrying you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve wind far
Oh yes I did talk about getting married to her and about that I did speak with family and friends and they told me that I should marry her because she is a wonderful person for me. Yes!!! Yes!! And final yes she knew about my talks prior to asking the question . So quit making me to be the bad person here
Oh yes I did talk about getting married to her and about that I did speak with family and friends and they told me that I should marry her because she is a wonderful person for me. Yes!!! Yes!! And final yes she knew about my talks prior to asking the question . So quit making me to be the bad person here
Nobody is making you a "bad" person.
You are presenting yourself and people are seeing what your saying and replying. Your the one that laid this story on us for comment, and by and large those comments have been in reply to the behaviors your exhibiting here and how those behaviors could be causing this sister to question your fiance on how sure she is.
If you think that is "making you a bad person" then I would suggest you do some soul searching about yourself to figure out why this sister, and a ton of people here are noticing these negative traits despite what you think are your best intentions and behaviors to the contrary.
OP, it sounds like you are offended because after ALL the effort you went through to take this step, the sister dared to question you.
Is that it?
So your fiancee did not do things exactly the way you did. That's life. You are two different people, and you had time to prepare yourself. Your fiancee did not.
So RELAX. Get ahold of yourself. Learn that marriage is not all about YOU, And understand that if your relationship cannot tolerate one person's questions, it was not meant to last.
Sounds like you are giving me advic to drop this woman and take my chances . Move on to another woman who will work with me??
Sounds like you are giving me advic to drop this woman and take my chances . Move on to another woman who will work with me??
Is that REALLY what you got from my post?
I am not really concerned about "the woman" right now.
You appear to have some attitudes that will not work in your favor as you progress through life. MAYBE this is just a one-time thing because it took a lot for you to propose, and I assume this is your first time to be engaged.
But listen ... you need to not sound so entitled. Her family loves her and is right to question her for her own good. Marriage is not about what your wife can do for you. It's about what you BOTH can do for each other.
You two will be equals, both responsible for its upkeep. You may be head of household, but you will NOT be her master, and she will NOT be out of range of her family.
You would be wise, if you proceed, to keep in mind that her family apparently means a lot to her and view them as friends rather than enemies.
And for the record, find a woman YOU can work WITH. Your wife will not orbit around you.
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Or did you mostly keep the proposal as a "surprise?"
