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Did she know you were proposing before you did it? It's REALLY putting the carriage before the house to have a marriage discussion with family if you don't even know marriage is on the table.
And be honest. Say you popped the question, and her response was, "I'll talk to my family and get back to you. "
Would your reaction be any different than it is now?
Well I would then wait. Not after the fact of accepting. And if her decision was no I would move on
Did you speak with HER family and friends prior to proposing? Had they known it was coming, maybe they could have done any due diligence beforehand, like you would apparently have preferred.
YES I DID ask her parents for their permission to marry their daughter and they were all for it .. And to boot excited because they like me.
YES I DID ask her parents for their permission to marry their daughter and they were all for it .. And to boot excited because they like me.
Then what is the problem? If her family is supportive of the marriage, then why on earth are their discussions regarding it in any way problematic for you?
I am not really concerned about "the woman" right now.
You appear to have some attitudes that will not work in your favor as you progress through life. MAYBE this is just a one-time thing because it took a lot for you to propose, and I assume this is your first time to be engaged.
But listen ... you need to not sound so entitled. Her family loves her and is right to question her for her own good. Marriage is not about what your wife can do for you. It's about what you BOTH can do for each other.
You two will be equals, both responsible for its upkeep. You may be head of household, but you will NOT be her master, and she will NOT be out of range of her family.
You would be wise, if you proceed, to keep in mind that her family apparently means a lot to her and view them as friends rather than enemies.
And for the record, find a woman YOU can work WITH. Your wife will not orbit around you.
Well she has to look as an adult as well into thisl. Her sister is married and I don't stick my nose in their business . I don't tell her sister what to do. I never said that hated her sister . So what is the problem. If she is going to constantly be seeking her sister for advise and not me why should I put my life toward her. It seems that if her sister and her family is closer with her and I am a nobody for advise. The best thing then is to cut my loses with her. Because she wants children . Who is she going to seek out for having children? Me or her sister? If her family is more important to her then she can be with them . I guess she is not ready for marriage either
If she is going to constantly be seeking her sister for advise and not me why should I put my life toward her. It seems that if her sister and her family is closer with her and I am a nobody for advise.
Because she is not married yet? Because she is accustomed to asking her sister for advice, ESPECIALLY since the sister is already married??
It would make no sense for your fiancee to go to you for advice on whether she should marry you. Get it?
Christ almighty, you have no idea if she is going to "constantly" be seeking advice from her sister. She never said her family is more important to her. The lady asked ONE QUESTION, and you are freaking out.
I do think you need to call it off but not because of the sister, because your replies here sound completely unbalanced.
I can see why the sister asked if your fiancee thought she was making the right decision. You seem unhinged and illogical. You say you're not violent to her and don't call her insulting names like this is an amazing attribute of yours. It's not. It's the bare minimum expected of any functional adult in a relationship. Maybe if you set the bar a bit higher for yourself in terms of your personal behavior and development, your fiancee's family wouldn't be asking questions.
Please break it off. I don't know a single thing about your fiancee except that she has a sister, but I know she deserves better.
So let me ask you. First are you married?
Second do you work out with your husband and seek things together?
Third, if you are married do you live a co existant marriage with your husband meaning he does whatever he want and you do whatever you want?
Fourth, do you rank you siblings over your husband and children?
I have culture and I have friends who are married where I he wife is for the husband all the way because he is for herl
I'm not scarlet, but I agree with her. I am married and of course whenever there is a problem to be solved I consult my husband. That doesn't mean I never consult anyone else. For example, we had issues with weeds in our yard. I talked about it with my husband, but then I also talked to my dad. When I was having issues with my friends I talked to my husband, but I also talked to my sisters about it.
Mod cut. Just because you seek advice from someone other than your spouse it doesn't mean that you prioritize them over your spouse. Different people have different experiences and perspectives and it's often helpful to have multiple opinions on a subject. If you don't understand that, you really should not be involved in a relationship with anyone.
Please seek counseling.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-20-2015 at 12:59 PM..
Reason: Off-topic.
Because she is not married yet? Because she is accustomed to asking her sister for advice, ESPECIALLY since the sister is already married??
It would make no sense for your fiancee to go to you for advice on whether she should marry you. Get it?
Christ almighty, you have no idea if she is going to "constantly" be seeking advice from her sister. She never said her family is more important to her. The lady asked ONE QUESTION, and you are freaking out.
I do think you need to call it off but not because of the sister, because your replies here sound completely unbalanced.
Well then the bottom line was that SHE REaLly should have thought things out before saying yes. She had that choice at that point I wasn't forcing her to say yes to my proposal. When a big question is asked like that you better be sure of what you want and if you are completely ready. Not just to say yes so that you can wear that ring on your finger
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