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This is going to be a bit of a roller coaster of a post, so please bear with me.
I'm a guy who recently turned 24 and has almost no experience with women whatsoever. I have never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin. While these are things that embarrass me, the fact is that no one knows or really suspects it. I'm a good-looking guy according to most people and would be considered cool/desirable by a number of women. It just never happened for me. Last year, when I was still 22, I really started to try hard with online dating. I went on one real-life date that went extremely well, but the girl lived with conservative parents who wouldn't allow her to see me again (she was 20).
At the end of March 2014, I began talking to a girl on OkCupid named Brihanna who I really liked. I didn't at all expect her to reply to me...she was 26, beautiful and lived on her own. She was one of those profiles that replied "very selectively." Yet her and I ended up messaging back and forth all week, getting to know each other. The first Thursday of April, I got her phone number and planned to meet up with her on Friday evening. To make a long story short, she stood me up that night. I walked home that night figuring I would never hear from her again, but she called me when I was walking home. She told me she was "shy" and that's why she didn't show up. She apologized several times and I forgave her.
We continued texting and calling each other over the next few weeks, gradually escalating in how romantic we were. There were a few times she got upset with me, but we talked it out and moved past it. Eventually, we got to the point where we were upfront about really liking each other, we sexted once and it was perhaps the happiest few weeks of my life in many ways. We were always sending good morning and good night texts and everything was going great. Around this time, I had been meaning to delete my OK Cupid profile. Partly because I was serious about Brihanna, and partly because I couldn't mentally handle the idea of trying to find a better girl on that site. I had continued to message girls simply because she was still very active on the site and friends urged me that she might not be as serious as she was letting on. Eventually though, I stopped logging in. Unfortunately, I would often tap the app on my phone screen by accident and this was counted as a login. I never got around to deleting the profile.
One night she discovered this while we were talking on the phone and IMMEDIATELY blew up on me. She cussed me out, called me a ***** and accused me of talking to other women. She told me to **** off and hung up on me. She told me she couldn't do this with me anymore. I was crying and pleading my case but she didn't believe me. One of the worst nights of my life, without a doubt.
We ended up talking that next week, but it wasn't the same. She was very flat and distant despite the fact that we both agreed to delete our profiles. That weekend, she told me that I ****ed up and she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I wished her well and figured I would never hear from her again.
A little over a week later, she texted me. We began talking again and agreed that we both had missed each other a lot. One night I walked to her house but she wouldn't come outside to see me. By the time July rolled around, she became really romantic with me again. This would continue off-and-on for the next few months. One night in November, she seemed legitimately ready to meet me, but I became very sick that day. I felt like a dumbass knowing I blew that opportunity.
In December, I realized that she had never actually deleted her Ok Cupid profile. That irked me a bit. But I continued talking to her. She was flirty with me but often seemed to dodge my suggestions for us to meet up. In January, she explained to me that she had met up with two other guys from online and they were both *******s, so that made her hesitant. Throughout these months I avoided other women who were interested in me.
A couple of months ago, I noticed that she deleted her Ok Cupid profile. Around this same time, she was super distant from me and was barely replying to my texts whatsoever. I put two and two together than she probably had a boyfriend now. One night, she texted me that she was doing badly, but wouldn't tell me why. I asked her if it was because of a guy. She said no. I said I would fight a guy for her and she seemed intrigued by the idea, but then said there was no one. She then told me she wanted to be my girlfriend. I couldn't have been any happier.
She became a tad distant after that and returned to the dating site again. I became injured a few weeks later and she showed a great amount of concern for me as we became closer yet again. Then one day she just stopped replying to me. My iMessages turned green and I figured her phone must have gotten shut off.
After two weeks or so, I looked up her Ok Cupid profile and got her KiK address. She read my message but never responded. Since then, she once again deleted her profile page and any attempts to text her have come up green. Out of curiosity, I had a friend with an iPhone also try and it came up green for him as well. That suggests she didn't block me.
What should I do? The easy answer is "move on" and I've tried to do so these past few weeks. It's not working, as I feel myself getting more and more sad. I keep regretting not deleting my page last April. It eats away at me.
I really like this girl, which may sound ridiculous since we never met. IDK if I will ever get that excited over someone again. I really feel like she might have been the one for me. We texted nearly everyday for over a year.
Thanks to anyone who read this; I know it was a very long post. I would appreciate any insights, comments or advice you can give me.
She sounds crazy. Why do you find that attractive?
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All that emotional energy and for someone you have NEVER seen in person. It is utterly ridiculous.
Both of you need to put up or shut up. Make it happen or move on. Tell her this, and follow through. Pick a date, and either meet or block each other.
You are wasting your energy and your life with all this "Did she block me? Does she like me?" crap.
In a lot of ways you're right, but I didn't want to risk what could have been something great by intimidating her with some "now or never" type of deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
She sounds crazy. Why do you find that attractive?
I don't necessarily like that quality, though it also has its upsides. I guess I just see it as an extension of her being overly passionate much like I am.
In a lot of ways you're right, but I didn't want to risk what could have been something great by intimidating her with some "now or never" type of deal.
This is not "intimidation." In a love relationship, there is supposed to be passion and interest and caring and desire. You are supposed to WANT to see each other.
Something is up with her, and it's probably not good.
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