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Oh ok lol! I admit I skimmed it, my bad! I'm not one to kiss on the first couple of dates either. By the third I ususally will but it's not going to be a full make out session. For one thing it's odd for me to have someone I barely know putting there mouths on mine. It's pass the level of intimacy Im comfortable with for a stranger. I don't feel like I know someone well enough after a couple of 4 hour encounters to warrant kissing. But usually by the third of not the forth date I will kiss and feel comfortable with it. Before that it would uncomfortable and awkward and perhaps she's that way as well. Everyone has their own pace. It seems like your pace is faster than hers. I would move on if your unhappy with how things are progressing.
You think WAY too much of yourself to be in a relationship with someone else. Your ego is your downfall.
You did it wrong.
Find some humility and work to get to know other people. Have a true interest in THEM rather than an interest in their appreciation of YOU and all you "have to offer."
This is also, utterly ridiculous. I feel like a small number of you starting reading my post, and then finished the narrative in your head.
You have absolutely no idea the level of interest I take in others.
I get the feeling that a lot of people in your life (both personal and professional) don't like you very much, including some of those that are polite in their interactions with you.
I'm not self-centered.
And I can't read people's minds, but I'm fairly certain you're terribly wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GravityMan
Yeah. Heck I'd say that for most people (even highly educated people), 80% of the things they know in life...they learned via spontaneous hands-on experience outside the classroom.
I would agree, I don't understand where this whole side story is coming from.
I wish more people understood what you're saying. Dating and forming relationships are a normal part of adolescent development. As with everything else in life, there's levels to this stuff. Not saying the challenges can't be overcome, but deliberately avoiding any kind of relationship or attachment to a partner until one is established in one's career is self-sabotage and there's no need for it. Indeed, part of growing up is learning how to incorporate a relationship into one's life and keep everything in balance. It's a skill, one that takes a good bit of trial and error, and waiting until one is finished with school and set on a career path before trying to form a relationship is like throwing one tennis ball up and down in the air and calling it juggling: When the time comes to add other elements, the person isn't going to know what they're doing, and the older one is, the tougher it is to learn.
Just for clarity, I've been dating since I was 16. I have plenty of experience with women and varying levels of relationships therein. What I've not done is accepted a formal girlfriend, despite numerous opportunities.
To me, it doesn't sounds like OP put off dating. It sounds like he has been dating and spending time with women over the years, but simply does not want a relationship because he doesn't see the point. Whether that means that he's just simply not interested in commitment or he has not met the right one yet, I don't know.
But it doesn't sound like he put off dating or has any kind of issues stemming from adolescence.
In fact, it sounds like the girl in question (that he's been out with multiple times) is more than interested in continuing to date him, but that he may not be interested because he doesn't like the way she's acting. Nothing wrong with that.
LOL, why are you and burgler the only ones who understand what I've written?
I've been dating since I was 16 (maybe even earlier, I don't remember) and as you might expect from a gender that consists of 50% of the population, women play a large role in my life. There have been plenty of times where I dated a girl for months at a time, but there was always a stopping point when it came to a formal "bf/gf" situation because I wasn't prepared to make that investment. It had absolutely nothing to do with "pumping and dumping" or any other selfish nonsense.
Back to the situation with this girl...
We're both 30+ years old (she's 32) and we're both ostensibly looking for committed relationships. After 4 dates and approximately 30 hrs of face time, I think we should be trying to do two things:
1) Not waste the other's time
2) Grow the relationship if we like one another
Based on how she's acting, she's either engaging in some kind of childish game, has another relationship she's invested in, or she legitimately doesn't know how she feels about me, which reeks of immaturity, a lack of self-awareness, and a lack of respect for me. That's what's upsetting.
Onto my dating philosophy...
I have a LOT to offer. That's a fact. There's nothing wrong with knowing that, and I'm not throwing it around acting like women are stupid for not liking me. What I'm saying is, if you're looking for a relationship, and you like who I am and spending time with me, then take the offer and let's see where it goes. Simple.
You have absolutely no idea the level of interest I take in others.
Yes, I do. It's written all over your posts.
It's sad that you think that her not knowing how she feels about you after only 4 dates is immature & disrespectful. THAT displays impatience and self-centeredness on YOUR PART.
You ARE self-centered. We can tell by the way you write about yourself & your experiences.
It's sad that you think that her not knowing how she feels about you after only 4 dates is immature & disrespectful. THAT displays impatience and self-centeredness on YOUR PART.
You ARE self-centered. We can tell by the way you write about yourself & your experiences.
Okay, so how long should I wait for this person to figure out whether or not we should kiss?
In your mind, when does it become disrespectful to keep someone in limbo? Ever?
You have a very negative view of this situation. Why does it have to be "limbo"?
What is it then? "Special friends" time?
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