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I've been dating since I was 16 (maybe even earlier, I don't remember) and as you might expect from a gender that consists of 50% of the population, women play a large role in my life. There have been plenty of times where I dated a girl for months at a time, but there was always a stopping point when it came to a formal "bf/gf" situation because I wasn't prepared to make that investment. It had absolutely nothing to do with "pumping and dumping" or any other selfish nonsense.
Back to the situation with this girl...
We're both 30+ years old (she's 32) and we're both ostensibly looking for committed relationships. After 4 dates and approximately 30 hrs of face time, I think we should be trying to do two things:
1) Not waste the other's time
2) Grow the relationship if we like one another
Based on how she's acting, she's either engaging in some kind of childish game, has another relationship she's invested in, or she legitimately doesn't know how she feels about me, which reeks of immaturity, a lack of self-awareness, and a lack of respect for me. That's what's upsetting.
Onto my dating philosophy...
I have a LOT to offer. That's a fact. There's nothing wrong with knowing that, and I'm not throwing it around acting like women are stupid for not liking me. What I'm saying is, if you're looking for a relationship, and you like who I am and spending time with me, then take the offer and let's see where it goes. Simple.
Man you're doing just fine.
There are so many women out there who won't cut to the chase.. they'll just toy with you instead of acting interested.
You said it, you know what you're worth. If they don't seem worth your time.. why care? Move on to the next one. There are millions of women out there, and we don't live enough time to waste with a woman we're not head over heels for.
I've been dating since I was 16 (maybe even earlier, I don't remember) and as you might expect from a gender that consists of 50% of the population, women play a large role in my life. There have been plenty of times where I dated a girl for months at a time, but there was always a stopping point when it came to a formal "bf/gf" situation because I wasn't prepared to make that investment. It had absolutely nothing to do with "pumping and dumping" or any other selfish nonsense.
Back to the situation with this girl...
We're both 30+ years old (she's 32) and we're both ostensibly looking for committed relationships. After 4 dates and approximately 30 hrs of face time, I think we should be trying to do two things:
1) Not waste the other's time
2) Grow the relationship if we like one another
Based on how she's acting, she's either engaging in some kind of childish game, has another relationship she's invested in, or she legitimately doesn't know how she feels about me, which reeks of immaturity, a lack of self-awareness, and a lack of respect for me. That's what's upsetting.
Onto my dating philosophy...
I have a LOT to offer. That's a fact. There's nothing wrong with knowing that, and I'm not throwing it around acting like women are stupid for not liking me. What I'm saying is, if you're looking for a relationship, and you like who I am and spending time with me, then take the offer and let's see where it goes. Simple.
If you don't think she's worth waiting on a bit to see where things go - then move on. If you think there might be something special between the two of you, give it a little more time. If you are always going to be resentful about her for this - then move on.
I'm on a "I live a full life with friends, family, work, and community investments" schedule and my time is important to me. Just as I'm sure hers is to her.
I can say that if it were me who was "on the fence" about growing the relationship to the next level beyond the introductory period (this kiss), and it had been 4 dates, I'd end it.
There are so many women out there who won't cut to the chase.. they'll just toy with you instead of acting interested.
You said it, you know what you're worth. If they don't seem worth your time.. why care? Move on to the next one. There are millions of women out there, and we don't live enough time to waste with a woman we're not head over heels for.
LOL, why are you and burgler the only ones who understand what I've written?
We're pretty much the only 2 guys responding. Women aren't very good at giving advice to men because they don't understand things from our point of view.
There are so many women out there who won't cut to the chase.. they'll just toy with you instead of acting interested.
You said it, you know what you're worth. If they don't seem worth your time.. why care? Move on to the next one. There are millions of women out there, and we don't live enough time to waste with a woman we're not head over heels for.
This.
And, OP, honestly, if she wants a family, she should not be wasting time at her age. That would be a bit of a red flag to me. Maybe she doesn't want a family, maybe she's playing games, maybe she has mental issues, who knows.
I would cut my losses right now if I were you. Doesn't seem to be worth the effort.
And, OP, honestly, if she wants a family, she should not be wasting time at her age. That would be a bit of a red flag to me. Maybe she doesn't want a family, maybe she's playing games, maybe she has mental issues, who knows.
I would cut my losses right now if I were you. Doesn't seem to be worth the effort.
Even if you want a family...you don't commit to just anyone.......4 dates? That is merely a blink.
We're pretty much the only 2 guys responding. Women aren't very good at giving advice to men because they don't understand things from our point of view.
Don't you think...if you are trying to have a relationship with a live woman.....it may just behoove you to understand things from a woman's point of view? Than again...I am not sure the OP and a few others....really want a woman to share things with.
I disagree. I think we often attract what we put out there.
I disagree. If one is unable to meet quality, then how can they attract quality? Someone can go to bars, do online dating, work with the opposite, have a ton of interests, etc. but if they cannot meet someone that shares similar values to them, then it is largely out of their control.
I believe that a lot of dating has to do with being in the right place at the right time.
With that said, I understand OP's frustration. For the past few years, I've been living in the middle of nowhere (and I adjusted my standards accordingly). I've had very few options and the the options that I do have are not right for me. I was constantly trying to fit a round peg into a square hole for the simple fact that I had no other options at the time. I didn't realize this at first, but once I did, I decided to simply stop dating and instead work on moving to a bigger city.
I'm in the process of that right now and feel much better about life.
It's possible that OP is in a similar situation and is similarly frustrated.
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