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It really doesn't matter how the slutty woman looked like, but how hurt the OP feels after the incident. She should indeed tell her husband how deeply she's affected by what happened, like other posters suggested, and he should support her and help her put this behind her. They have to be able to enjoy their relationship soon again.
Something tells me your reaction would have been very different had she been a morbidly obese woman with bad teeth and a foul stench. The fact that you had to throw in her weight makes me think you're just very insecure.
Yes, I caught that but the o.p. was getting beaten up enough as it was. From her post history I estimate her age at 22 or 23. Too young to be so angry and not HWP. I don't know if there is any way to escape the spiral towards an early demise that she seems destined for but hopefully hearing it put baldly to her by people who have no reason to say anything other than the truth... hopefully that can put her on a different path.
Reading the OP's posts, I seriously doubt she is more insecure than any normal person would be. She is in love, sensitive and she feels very hurt, like many women would feel if they assisted to something like that. I understand that there are couples that see lap dances like fun, and that is ok, but she is not the only woman who wouldn't agree to something like that. Feeling hurt and shocked by what happened is justified, she just has to try to feel better little by little. Women who lack self-control and much more, like that pathetic woman does, aren't worth losing your sleep over.
And give me a break. I'm a very good natured and very happy person. I also do everything in the world for my husband and relationship, and YES, I AM this upset over "a little" drunken touching. He would be too.
Mod cut. You are probably right, your husband would be just as proprietary were the situation reversed. And? That does not make it right. Your husband is not turf that you have to defend. Here's a thought... when your husband comes home, say to him "since you like lap dances so much... " and lay one on him. Think you can do that? It will require forgiving him first. People, I don't know how (or why) forgive the killers of their spouses and relatives, it should be possible to for you to forgive your husband and move on from some drunken ****** fondling... with the backs of his hands? Poor guy. He knows you well doesn't he. You are probably making his life miserable these days and he thinks he deserves it. One day he will realize he doesn't. You have around until then to change your angry ways. Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-18-2015 at 11:59 AM..
Reason: Off-topic; personal attacks.
OP, I don't know your other posts, but if you have some personal work to do, that simply makes you human. We all have personal work to do.
Regarding this inccident, don't beat yourself up over feeling hurt, it's a normal reaction for a woman who is in love. Concentrate on taking little steps to feel better. Think that life isn't perfect, that we all have to deal with painful and unfair situations sometimes, and we owe it to ourselves to find the way to overcome them, and maybe set some boundaries together with your husband to avoid situations like that when you go out. That situation was certainly unexpected for him too and he didn't know how to behave, plus he had had alcohol, but next time a woman makes him advances, he will know how to deal with things better.
I guess we are outnumbered, OP. I would be upset that my husband didn't get her off his lap the second she sat down. I'm not talking divorce angry - but angry nonetheless. But like I said, he would know it right then and there. I wear my emotions on my sleeve so I don't really keep things inside for very long.
I have to disagree with most of the responses here.
You have this drunken woman grinding on your husband's private parts and basically propositioning him while he is bouncing her up and down.....all in front of you?
What's he doing when not in your presence?
I'd be upset as well.
And the responses saying you are the one with the problem? Wow!
Agreed. OP had every right to feel the way she does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
your beef is with the woman, not your husband. I don't know what you expected him to do, but I'm pretty sure throwing her off him or smacking her or something isn't the way to go.
It was a lapdance and she was propositioning herself to him. You should have been the one to remove her and establish that you're married to him.
He was drunk and doesn't do well under the influence, and you say you can and do, so I think you should have tried to do a little more. Just stop beating up your husband and being distant, and stop hanging around that other woman.
So it's the OP's place to remove the woman? No, her husband should have stood up and removed the woman from his lap. This is not hard to do. Why should he care about making a scene? That ship has sailed.
I guess we are outnumbered, OP. I would be upset that my husband didn't get her off his lap the second she sat down. I'm not talking divorce angry - but angry nonetheless. But like I said, he would know it right then and there. I wear my emotions on my sleeve so I don't really keep things inside for very long.
I think the OP did not get the reaction she wanted and is out the door...
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