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I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
Thanks in advance.
To answer the question you posed - it's certainly a deterrent if the person you're with DOES want to live together first!
So explain why, when you say "Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out."? So you'd rather go through the trouble of dating and GETTING MARRIED and THEN have the relationship not work out? That sounds like preserving a relationship that is ripe to break up by waiting to find those things out once you're married. That's certainly up to you though there is not much logic behind it. Since you "will not be convinced otherwise" - what's the point of any of this?
I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
Thanks in advance.
Most men? Beats me.
But it would be a deterrent for me, for two reasons.
First, before I commit to spending my life with someone, I'd like to see whether or not we're compatible actually living that life together. Really together. Not just date and see-you-tomorrow together. Together, when the varnish is off, when we're paying bills together and coordinating our lives in the same household. When life is real, not some series of planned engagements before we detach and go back to our own separate lives.
Second, I'd want to know - why? If it's having her own space, instead of getting married a year hence, we could move in together a year hence, and then see if we're a match, and then marry if we think it's going to work. This would allow her the same year of having her own space. The year, of course, is arbitrary - it could be six months or two years or whatever, depending on the relationship and the individuals. If it's because 'it's just not right', then there we have a problem, because that tells me that she has moral ideas that are out of whack with mine. I'd be extremely hesitant to commit to someone who thinks that having a ceremony makes it all right to live together, and it's somehow not all right without that ceremony.
That's me. Of course, there are plenty of men, numerically speaking, who would not have a problem with your stern decision, as you put it. But there would be many who would.
I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
Thanks in advance.
I would work on finding the right person and work out the details then.
I think you are short sighted for not living together once it's serious....but that's on you. It's not as easy to move out once married and find out its going to work than it is before...and it's a lot easier in the long run to find out before it becomes a legal matter....but your circus....your monkey....and your hill to die on.
To answer the question you posed - it's certainly a deterrent if the person you're with DOES want to live together first!
So explain why, when you say "Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out."? So you'd rather go through the trouble of dating and GETTING MARRIED and THEN have the relationship not work out? That sounds like preserving a relationship that is ripe to break up by waiting to find those things out once you're married. That's certainly up to you though there is not much logic behind it. Since you "will not be convinced otherwise" - what's the point of any of this?
I'm just curious to what others think about living together before marriage. I know what I think, just wondering what others think.
I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
Thanks in advance.
I felt pretty much the same as you. I love having my own personal space. And yes, I would rather not go through the moving in and moving out if something were to happen. Some people believe that you must live in together to truly know a person. I personally don't think so. I think you have to know their values, how they handle money, how they handle situations when they are frustrated, etc... You can never fully know a person, as people change throughout the years. It's just a matter of paying close attention during the dating years and once you get married, you commit. Well, that's my personal opinion, as I'm sure others disagree.
I'm not a guy, but my ex asked me to move in with him and I said no, he was cool with it (I broke up with him due to other reasons). With my husband, he knew my stance and he was cool with it, then put a ring on it lol
I moved to a new state about a year ago for work after graduating college. I am ready to get back into the dating game and this time I'm looking for serious relationships. However, I don't want to live with the man before marriage because I feel like I'll have a whole lifetime (hopefully) to live with him and it'd be nice to have my own space before marriage. Also, I don't want to go through the trouble of dating someone and moving in with them, and then having the relationship not work out. I'm quite stern with this decision and will not be convinced otherwise.
Is it a deterrent for most men if the women they're dating don't want to live together before marriage?
Thanks in advance.
That doesn't even make sense. You'd rather go through the trouble of getting married, and then find out it is impossible to live with this person?
What others think about living together before marriage in general?
Or what others think about how likely you'll be able to find a prospective partner that's okay with the choice not to?
If it's the former, for me, I was fine with it. We lived together for all of our engagement. I didn't know we were getting engaged when I agreed to move in; he proposed while I was still in the process of unpacking. We got married about five and a half months and one military move later.
But we both had years and years of solo living and personal space under our belts, by that point. We were no longer adamant about having our own space for those last five months of our unmarried relationship, and were glad to be together, in one another's space.
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